ExH moving 200 miles away and wants me to do half the driving

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

AIBU to say no? He wants to meet halfway EoW. I don't want to spend 8 hours driving (2 hours each way x 2) every weekend so that he can live in a random part of the country.

@HugeAckmansWife

Because its usually the man who is the nrp and moves away. However, its not always as simple as 'who moved'. I, the RP, moved a distance away after ex fucked off with OW and decided only to 'parent' eow. I needed to go where I could afford a house and had support. I do all the day to day grunt work.. Should I also do 50% of the tiny amount of effort he has to make? It wasn't my choice to be a lone parent and I've made hard choices because he put in that position.

That’s when I think a court is better since they can take this into account. As I previously said if the parent has to move because of Circumstances that are down to the behaviour of the other parent as well as factors including support networks then this will be considered

@keeprocking

If you’d moved then fair enough, his move, his choice, he drives

Usual MN hypocrisy! Surely the one who moves does the driving, why should the man be treated worse than the femaile?

Are you ok? You literally replied to my comment saying the exact same thing whilst saying I was being hypocritical...

Ex DP moved 4 hours away when my child was 3. For the next 12 years I drove half way to meet him because my daughter needed to see her dad. I didn’t like the bloke, hated the drive, struggled to afford the petrol at times but I did it every single time because she loves her Dad and wanted to see him. She’s now at an age where I don’t need to do this and she sees him of her own accord.

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant

I think keeprocking for the wrong end of the stick.

To those asking about times, he collects them straight from school on Fridays and brings them home by 7 on Sunday. He's his own boss so takes every other Friday off.

I think a 400 mile journey like that eow is just far too long and not right on your children. Either refuse to share the travel as you have every right too and watch it dwindle or go to court and push for less travel for the children as I think 800 miles a month car travel regularly is not remotely in their best interests. If he can take every other Friday off then I would argue at least half the time he should come up and see them which could also include taking them to school on a Friday morning as well as being a normal parent and schlepping them around to their normal weekend activities and doing things together

I would not Countenance my children who are all ooor car passengers anyway being made to endure journeys of this length for anyone including myself

I have reread all your posts, actually he just sounds like a bully.

Burnt all his bridges with local employers, won't even clean out their lunch boxes, needed to move to get away from you...

He isn't smart enough to pull the wool over the eyes of a judge in court!

Soon enough the kids won't be arsed to spend 8 hours in a car on their weekends. He should do the driving while they are still bothered.

If doing the driving is harming his mental health, he needs to pay for a taxi and escort.

What is really sad in these cases is the NRP move without fully thinking through the consequences on their children, it’s as if the children are very secondary to their lives & everyone must jyst fit in

When my ex moved almost 200 miles away, I told him that I wouldn’t be doing any of the driving

He too has the children every other weekend, half of the school holidays and we alternate Christmas each year

I'm in exactly the same situation but 5 years down the line. The kids have point blank refused to go EOW now so we've compromised on the kids go there once a month with him doing all the driving, then the other visit he has to make accommodation arenagements here.

I am exactly in the same situation (ex moved the same distance away) only that I don't drive and ex expects me to take public transport or a taxi to the midway point.

@emptydreamer

I am exactly in the same situation (ex moved the same distance away) only that I don't drive and ex expects me to take public transport or a taxi to the midway point.

Do you actually do that?

I'm really cross. DS came home yesterday with D&V and has been really poorly. Who in their right mind makes their vomiting, pooing child go on a 200 mile drive when they could just go straight to bed and get better?

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant
Not yet, it is about to reach the court (delayed due to covid), ex petitioned for this change in arrangements. To add, he has only 6 hours of contact every other Sunday (and he wants to exclude "his" leg of the journey from the contact time), so it is impractical for me even to return home that day.

My ex moved 200 miles away, he did all the travelling every other wkend. Lasted for 4 months, then it was every month. Both my dd's are 23 and 21 and not seen their dad for many many years.