What age did you let your child come home to an empty house...

[CovidStoleTheRainbow]

... after school? And wait a few hours until the first parent got home? 5ish pm.

It depends on the DC.
DD's friend has been doing it from 9 she doesn't have extended family her parents work long hours.
Now she nearly 12 she puts the dinner on too she's very independent.
Sometimes she'll stay here until 4pm then runs home to stick the oven on.
Mine same age would be terrified.

sensible Year 6 with school a 2 minute walk is coming home by himself and occasionally we may not be in for 15mins -30mins. If I had to, for work etc, I'd consider leaving him home for up to an hour but prob no more.
He has to come straight home, let himself in, can have a snack but not cook or make toast or anything 'hot', leave the house and he knows the neighbours all around us.

9 is way to young and irresponsible parenting

No not a joke. DS is just very immature. He would do things like come home pop out to shop leaving house unlocked and alarm not on and once he caught microwave on fire by leaving it on with nothing in for long period. He went to child minder with a friend and did not mind. He is an adult now but still very dippy and absent minded. He fell asleep on a train once and ended up in Manchester.

It's almost impossible to generalise. It depends on:

(a) the maturity level of the kids;
(b) the amount of time they'll be left alone for;
(c) how well they know supportive [especially next door] neighbours;
(d) how quickly a parent could get back to the house.

etc.

True rattustattus. And we should also add

(e) whether he has previous form for setting fire to the house through absent mindedness @caringcarer

Very sensible to take that into account IMO!

When they started secondary school.

I did it at 10 so let mine at 10.
We did safety planning- discuss what to do if fire/stranger at door etc.
Have emergency numbers written down.
Rules about not using the cooker etc.
Never had a problem in years!

I would let my 9 year old do that in similar circumstances to you. Could you give him a mobile phone to let you know when he is home safely? And instructions on what to do if there are any problems - ours were to go back to school/knock on our trusted neighbours doors etc.

I remember being left alone all day in the school holidays from the age of about 8 onwards, and as an only child😶it was the 1970s though, no home phone

Year 7, so 11 years old, for up to about an hour.

Probably around 10/11 for both of mine. I’m a sahm though So it’s not often.

i can remember doing this from about 10. a neighbour down the road would keep an eye and we knew to go to her if any problems. in reality we were probably alone for no more than an hour mx

If it's a one off can he go to a friend's for tea?

I think 9yo is too young. I found one of ds's classmates sat on the step of his house looking dejected because he couldn't get the door open. He cut a sorry sight for himself. I was able to help but, I guess the point is, the smallest things might trip them up and at that age they don't necessarily know how to fix it when it does.

We are considering one night a week from the new year for our 9 year old (year5) she is very sensible and knows the neighbours well enough to ask for help if there was anything. I also work around the corner so she could always just come to me.

@CovidStoleTheRainbow

What if it was a 9 year old but he's only on his home for half an hour until his 13 year old brother came home?

I'm fucked for childcare and I really don't know what to do.

Wouldn't bother me provided both were sensible and could be trusted not to quarrel

To some degree the "maturity" is a self fulfilling prophecy though. If you never give your children any independence then how will they gain the ability to be independent?

If OP is unsure if her 9 year old can be left for 30 minutes, she can clearly trial it (possibly leaving for a shorter period first). If he doesn't play out or do things like pop to the local shop, this will also encourage him to be self-sufficient.

I did this from YR 6, aged 11. It was only for an hour alone and the school was a 5 min walk away, literally at the end of the road. I used to let myself in and make my sandwiches for the next day then play/watch tv. I was completely fine, never ran into any problems and it wasn't scary or damaging in anyway.

By the time I was 12 I was doing a paper-round after school and making myself pancakes at home first as a snack! I'm 32 and do think generally children are allowed to do less and given less responsibility - although we'll see how I feel when my dd is that age!

Y6.

Ds was doing this occasionally from age 10 (yr6), as after school club decided to finish at 6 instead of half past, and I got home from work between 6 and 6.30, depending on traffic. So he’d come out of after school club and walk home. 90% of the time, I picked him up as I drove past him, but sometimes, he got home before me and had let the dog out and put the tv on by the time I got back. I gave him a very basic mobile, and the agreement was that he texted me as he arrived home, just so I could see it flash up on my phone and not worry, and if I got held up for any reason, I could call him and see if he was ok, or if he’s prefer me to call a friend to pop and sit with him.