What age did you let your child come home to an empty house...

[CovidStoleTheRainbow]

... after school? And wait a few hours until the first parent got home? 5ish pm.

My daughter is 12 and she has done this on occasion. My 10 year old is more independant but I've had no reason for her to be on her own. DD1 has just started secondary school so some classes are from home and I don't always be here.

OP I feel your pain. I have just lost my childcare from next week.

I have a 9 year old and an almost 11 year old who are a 5 min walk from school, who get home at 2.50pm. DD almost 13 gets home at 4.10pm and I get home at 5pm.

We live in a housing estate so they have neighbours they could go to if needed but I feel very uncomfortable leaving them on their own though the children would love it.

I worry about them having an accident, choking on food, people seeing them coming home to an empty house, crossing the road (I could go on!)
If it was less than an hour I think it would be ok but not 2 hours.

My son started coming back from school on his own mid year 6 - August born so he was 10. He would take a London bus, often with a friend but not always, and be at home on his own between 30 min and 1.5 hours. He had a phone and could call me and I would usually check on him at around the time he was supposed to get home. We live in a block of flats with porters that have a spare key and are super friendly. He knew them well and was instructed to run to them in case of any issue in the flat. We went through lots of scenarios together before ie. what he should do if a delivery comes in. We had a few minor issues but actually only with transport - not with the home alone part. He has always been very independent and this worked very well for us. I know how difficult it is to find after school care, especially for a shortish period of time everyday so I feel for you.

OP is the walk home safe for him? If it is and its only just 30 mins at home maybe you could ring him a couple of times to check he is ok. Is there a neighbour he could call into if in trouble/scared?

I'm not sure I understand how it would be safer for him to play outside until someone came home. Perhaps I misunderstood that advice?

I was (badly) trying to point out inconsistencies in advice.

If you'd asked "is it ok for my 9 year old to play out with friends for 30 minutes", most people would think this was ok (area dependent). For some reason "going home to an empty house and being on his own for 30 minutes" sounds much worse.

Start of secondary school. Ds1 was just 11 (Aug birthday)

I find mumsnet to be the opposite of this, 16-18 year olds still driven to school and not allowed out.

Mine was in year 6 and 10. One of the youngest in his year. I would leave him home alone for half an hour in the morning and he would ring me once he had locked the front door. I would let him come home for half an hour too very occasionally. He is year 7 now and would be home for 3 hours before I get in, so he goes home, gets changed and heads to his grandparents as I feel 3 hours is too long. I do leave him home whilst I go shopping though but that’s 1-1.5 hours max. Just to add he wouldn’t cook anything, knows he can get snacks to eat and he can ring me at any time

Not read the rest of the thread OP. I would let my nine yr old do this - in fact I suggested it and she refused. My kids are insanely sensible. If she got home, locked the door and phoned me to say she was safe I wouldn’t be worried. I was left home alone at this age too.

9 is fine for a sensible child who just wants to game and eat - computers not likely to blow up. He could trip over the cat on his way to the fridge though, and crack his head open on the kitchen table. He'll be ok.

My 11 year old will gets home at 3pm and from October when I'm back in the office, she will be on her own till 6 when I get home. This will be every day. Not sure how she will cope but we have no other choice.

I used to walk home and let myself in from the beginning of year 7.

End of year 6 with oldest child and end of year 5 for youngest. Younger was more sensible at that age and her brother for company.

I was doing this at 10 for two nights a week. At 12, I was occasionally looking after my 8yo sister until parent got home. However we lived in a village of 200 people and I was a sensible kid who knew to go to neighbours on both sides if there was a problem.

End of year 6.

Other parents in the village did threaten to report me to SS so I had to lie and say I’d stopped doing it!

Year 8.

From the middle of year 7 so at 12 years old. He was and is absolutely fine with it. He did no home work until we got home (pre Covid) though as he will only do home work if nagged and nagged and nagged.

Totally depends on the child. My dds are 14&12 and do this every day. They have been for 2 years but are very sensible girls and we live in a very safe area. They get off the bus and have a 5 min walk to our door.

I was 10 and responsible for my 7 yo brother BUT my parents were on good terms with all their neighbours and we knew we could ask for help if we needed it. We would be on hour own for either 20 or 40 minutes, depending on my mum’s shift.

Year 7 DTs but it was only for 2 days a week. I was already at home for 2 days and about 10 mins behind them on the other day.

I was doing this from age 9. Didn’t have any problems. Maybe I was mature for my age? If he’s not silly I think it’s fine

DD was prob 11 or 12 and she was on her own once a week for probably an hour and a half. DS will be 11 soon, but hes not as mature, and doesnt feel comfortable being home alone.

DD has started doing this aged 10, as her older brother has started secondary but is epileptic so cant walk home alone, so DH has to go collect him, meaning he isn’t in when she gets back. Works out at about half an hour on her own, the key is hidden in the garden so she doesn’t have to look after it. She has to message us to let us know she is on her way, and then again once she is in. In an emergency I could be home in 10-15 minutes.

It’s not ideal, but the current situation means I’m not will big to ask elderly grandparents to drive for an hour to look after her for half an hour on a daily basis, and there’s no other way round it, after school club is massively oversubscribed at the best of times.

I think from age 9 if sensible.

DD did it after SATs in year 6, she was perfectly happy with it though, it wasn’t necessary as she had the option of after school club. DS is now in year 6 and wants to do it now. I m so tempted as it would save me so much time and I only work out of the home 2 days a week, but we live quite a walk from school (about 25 minutes) and his nearest friend is 10 minutes away from us. DD had a friend in the next street to walk with. I think I might wait until Easter. That’s more to do with the walk than being home alone, they are both happy enough on their own at home for a few hours if necessary.