Should I have offered to reimburse her deposit?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I booked a holiday next year for myself and dc. My cousin who I am close to asked if she could join us so I said yes of course so she paid £100 deposit on the hotel. She goes away a fair bit and often books refundable rooms.

This month the same hotel came up at a really good price so dc and I thought we would go. I wouldnt normally do this but we have both been desperate for a break (dc is adult ds). However while we were there we had power cuts, no hot water for days, non stop rain, damp rooms and the area is a lot smaller than anticipated so we feel we have done it now and we really dont want to go back.

I asked my cousin if she would be able to change her booking, suggesting we go to another country she has always wanted to visit instead and explaining our reasons for not wanting to return again. The other country is generally cheaper and with better weather. She has been very curt and abrupt saying she has contacted the hotel, she is going to lose her deposit and she wont be coming away in June.

My cousin is very very well off and doesnt need to work so I dont think its the money. I have made it clear that we would love for her to still join us next year. She has been to the place we have just returned from so its not as if she is missing out on seeing it. And to be honest I dont want to waste 2 weeks annual leave in the rain again and with no hot water etc and nor does ds who gets only a small amount of annual leave. But I have been left wondering whether she wanted me to repay the deposit or if she is generally just pissed off. Should I offer to repay the deposit or just leave her to come round in her own time( I will also be losing our deposit too)

@Florencex

I can’t follow your posts, first you cancelled, then you are only thinking of it, you are not making much sense.

But yes if you have or if you are going t o cancel then of course you should refund your cousin. Her being well off does not mean you can be immoral.

We said we were thinking of cancelling. The booking is still active currently. And I have already said I would reimburse in another post

@Twigaletta

Are you able to get even a partial refund from the hotel you've just been to for the poor state of the rooms/no hot water? At least if you got £100/£200 back it would cover the lost deposit for next year?

I am going to try

@thenightsky

Is it Kefalonia? My friend was there last week and there was a hurricane and a year's worth of rain in 2 days or something.

Not far. It was Corfu. We didnt have it as bad as Kefalonia but we had a grumbling medicane so lots of rain and storms. In between those it was very pleasant. But the rain was so heavy I had to buy rain clothes and shoes as I was totally unprepared.

@BuffaloCauliflower

I think what you’ve done is really quite bizarre and rude, and yes I think you should repay the deposit. You had a holiday booked, decided to go and do the holiday in advance without one the party coming, and have then told them the holiday they were planning for is not off because you’ve already done it, and they need to sort it out for themselves. I’d be gobsmacked if a friend or family member did this to me. You’ve been really out of order!

Yes this!

I think the least you can do is pay the costs she'll be out of pocket for because YOU cancelled?!

I think it is rude to say "of course" when cousin asked to come then go earlier without her

Why? Just because they are having one holiday with the cousin doesn't mean they have to have every holiday with her, and people often return to the same places for holidays.

The not going should have been discussed in person with a mutual decision being made.

Yes you should refund it and also apologize for messing her around. And then see if she wants to come up with a destination that would work for her. This was going to be her holiday. It doesn't matter if she is well off or has been there before. That's irrelevant. She obviously really wanted to go there and you have let her down and only considered yourself.

@Arthersleep

Yes you should refund it and also apologize for messing her around. And then see if she wants to come up with a destination that would work for her. This was going to be her holiday. It doesn't matter if she is well off or has been there before. That's irrelevant. She obviously really wanted to go there and you have let her down and only considered yourself.

I have already done this. And it was our holiday. We booked it weeks before she did. Though it became a holiday for the 3 of us when she also booked. So going forward we will decide together where to go, though the second country I suggested is one she has always wanted to go to hence the suggestion. It doesnt mean we have to go there though - the 3 of us can decide together nearer the time

Please tell us where it is OP?

I'm fascinated!

Glad it's worked out btw.

@starfishmummy it is the same holiday though, would have been polite to invite cousin to come early. Wouldn't have been rude to go anywhere else without cousin.

OP glad all is well and cousin isn't bothered. I expect it is because you have acknowledged the lack of thought and offered to reimburse she feels better so well done.

You cancelled the holiday after agreeing to go. No wonder she's annoyed. I wouldn't arrange anything with you again. Give her the money back.

But there's nothing to stop her going on the holiday without you.

op if it helps,think of it this way,cousin is going to see a London show,you want to go and buy a ticket.unbeknownst to you,cousin goes to a show a week before,hates it.rings you up,we're thinking we aren't going now,we've been already and it's rubbish,see if you can get your money back?you cant?oh well never mind,you are well off,bye then.

Folks just to remind you the handy funnel on top RHS means you can filter on OPs responses as the situation has now been resolved.

I don't understand why you think the weather will be exactly the same if you go again though. Weather changes, unless you go to India in monsoon season or something. I had a holiday in Rhodes, it was hideously hot, I couldn't bear it, but I realise that was a heatwave and it is not always that stupidly hot.

@Sally872. Hardly the same at all. We go to the same place lots and every time is different and thats at the same time of year. Somewhere in september will be different to somewhere in june. Plus the other person has been there several times before anyway so it's not like they all have the excitement of exploring a new place together anyway.

You need to learn to say no when you don't want someone coming on holiday with you.

I don't think you have done anything wrong OP and I think you sound lovely and considerate enough to have worried about annoying your cousin.

You found a good deal and took it for yourself and your son -I would grab it if I had the opportunity to travel and could afford it- it doesnt matter that it was the same place and same hotel. I guess some people forget that most of the time a good deal doesn't have many choices and you take what you found before its gone. Its not like you promised someone a holiday and then went without them! Your holiday together was for next year, nothing to do with this holiday alone with your son. The fact that its at the same place and hotel doesn't matter, nobody has exclusivity of a place just because they've booked it for next year.

It doesn't sound like your cousin was annoyed with you at all; just with the situation. I would be annoyed if someone didn't tell me bad things about the place we will stay for 2weeks next year when they found out this year. Its now a decision to be made by all of you whether you all want to cancel the place or the holiday as a whole. No refunding necessary coz you will all lose out on your deposits anyway. Imagine a friend had gone instead of you and told you how bad it was, you would still want to cancel and inform your cousin too.

You and your cousin sound nice and considerate. Hope you get another holiday booked together and lucky you for having had one just now! Im jealous :)