Should I have offered to reimburse her deposit?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I booked a holiday next year for myself and dc. My cousin who I am close to asked if she could join us so I said yes of course so she paid £100 deposit on the hotel. She goes away a fair bit and often books refundable rooms.

This month the same hotel came up at a really good price so dc and I thought we would go. I wouldnt normally do this but we have both been desperate for a break (dc is adult ds). However while we were there we had power cuts, no hot water for days, non stop rain, damp rooms and the area is a lot smaller than anticipated so we feel we have done it now and we really dont want to go back.

I asked my cousin if she would be able to change her booking, suggesting we go to another country she has always wanted to visit instead and explaining our reasons for not wanting to return again. The other country is generally cheaper and with better weather. She has been very curt and abrupt saying she has contacted the hotel, she is going to lose her deposit and she wont be coming away in June.

My cousin is very very well off and doesnt need to work so I dont think its the money. I have made it clear that we would love for her to still join us next year. She has been to the place we have just returned from so its not as if she is missing out on seeing it. And to be honest I dont want to waste 2 weeks annual leave in the rain again and with no hot water etc and nor does ds who gets only a small amount of annual leave. But I have been left wondering whether she wanted me to repay the deposit or if she is generally just pissed off. Should I offer to repay the deposit or just leave her to come round in her own time( I will also be losing our deposit too)

Very 'well-off people, are often only so because they are stricter with their spending. While you think she can afford the loss, that may not be how she sees it.

@TinySleepThief

I can understand her being pissed off we went without her but she was fine about it and asked us to scout out the good restaurants etc.

The trouble is you think this meant she was ok with it but honestly I imagine it was just her putting on a brave face, what else was she supposed to say in that situation.

I appreciate you say you have been back to some places when you've had a nice time but I would imagine repeating these exact holidays didn't happen only a year later?

I agree.

I havent ever gone back anywhere before this but I would have to most, even a year later. I often go with dp though who would never return anywhere twice

I'm not really seeing the issue as others are and don't think you should refund her.

She's an adult, if she couldn't afford to lose £100 on a deposit, then she shouldn't have paid it. That's what can happen with a deposit, you may lose it for whatever reason. It could have been by next year she had a different reason to not go, and still couldn't get it back. Who is she going to be pissed at now?

You wanted a holiday earlier, and considering that we are limited right now on countries we can travel to without quarantining for weeks, I'm guessing that's why you chose it. You've now found out the hotel is shite. Why would you pay again to go there? That's just stupid. There's no way I'd go back to a shit hotel.

If your cousin still wants to go, she's an adult and holidays alone anyway at times from what you've said. She can go alone. Her mistake to make if no changes have been made to the hotel by then.

And loads of people go on holiday to the same place all the time. They sometimes end up buying holiday homes there. I don't get the appeal either, but others do. Nothing wrong with that.

I can see why you don't want to go back but I can also understand why your cousin is a bit pissed off.
Give her the £100 today - phone her/him, apologise and explain the situation. If you have only done so by text so far then you need to have an actual conversation. Offer to look today for an alternative holiday next year at the same time, either giver her £100 back today or offer to pay her deposit for the alternative next year.

If it were me and I heard the hotel was crap with no hot water I wouldn't really want to go either but to be fair the hotel may just have had a bad week, seems odd if all the reviews were okay when you booked.

I would hazard a guess that you were on a Greek Island, probably Corfu. There was a storm recently, we were on Kos and were watching it on all the weather apps. It did piss it down on Corfu, but it wasn't for weeks, it was hours. It wasn't surprising that the electricity went off, it probably would've done in the U.K. too. The storm was fierce enough to kill 2 people and injure more on the mainland, don't forget.

We flew out on the 12th and the whole area (Greece/Turkey) had temperatures of 10degrees Celsius above average for the first week.

I do think you're being unreasonable to not give her the deposit back. I can completely understand why she's pissed off.

Your point of view on this is truly unique op.

Wow. YABU

@Cheeseandlobster presumably you are not really in a position to lose your/DS deposits and repay cousins deposit. If the hotel was really bad have you been in touch with them to ask about cancelling without charge for the future bookings? First and foremost I would be complaining to the hotel about your stay and negotiating repayment of presumably non refundable deposits as compensation. I can see why cousin may be upset with you but surely she must appreciate that she has possibly dodged a bullet by what's happened.

Tbf, she asked to join your holiday, its not like you invited her. And you're not cancelling because you dont fancy the location again but because it was shit. So you'd both have lost money anyway by wasting it on a shit holiday.

Don’t offer to reimburse, just reimburse! You want to cancel none of this is her fault and to offer means you are putting them choice to accept on her, when it’s all your fault that you aren’t going.

Agree don't 'offer'

Just give her the money back

I have contacted my cousin and asked for her bank details to transfer the deposit back and apologised again. I told her I am sorry for being thoughtless and that we would both love her to come next year though understand if she doesnt want to.

She came back almost immediately and said she isnt annoyed with us. She heard the area is a little run down but didnt want to spoil our holiday and is more pissed off at the hotel who gave a flimsy excuse as to why they couldn't refund. She is in the process of planning a break for herself in the next week or so and wouldnt accept the deposit back so I said I would treat her to some lunches and dinners instead next time we go somewhere.

So all is well. I will fully consult with her next year before we book anything to make sure its a joint decision and we will hopefully have a lovely time like we usually do. And I will never book somewhere twice without having been even once as that was sheer stupidity

@Cheeseandlobster

You stated” We dont have a lot of money and there were not many places with good reviews for our budget. So it wasnt a deliberate thing”

Yes it was, otherwise you would have booked one of the other places, knowing you were going next year

Mean

[quote TheTeenageYears]@Cheeseandlobster presumably you are not really in a position to lose your/DS deposits and repay cousins deposit. If the hotel was really bad have you been in touch with them to ask about cancelling without charge for the future bookings? First and foremost I would be complaining to the hotel about your stay and negotiating repayment of presumably non refundable deposits as compensation. I can see why cousin may be upset with you but surely she must appreciate that she has possibly dodged a bullet by what's happened.[/quote]
I complained about the hot water issue as did another couple we met in the room across the floor. We were just told that its everyone having showers at the same time so the hot water runs out. I said that they should have anticipated this and the boiler should be able to cope with popular shower times.

Its a good idea to use this as leverage though. When its hot a cold shower is fine but not when its raining and cold it was ptetty miserable to be honest

Iv always been amazed by people like the op who behave thoughtlessly but really struggle to see the other person’s perspective even when, like in this case, it’s been explained to them in dozens of different ways. Op is trying to present as if she understands now but I suspect deep down, she really only sees it her way.

It’s fascinating and a bit sad.

I too would love to know where it is so I can avoid it.

I'm glad you sorted things out, OP
Bad feelings COULD have festered.

I can’t be the only one who finds the thread to be like some retro pre-Covid zombie that’s been bumped? I’m far note interested in the idea that OP and her cousin are getting away anywhere, than the details of the problem

@Cocomarine

I can’t be the only one who finds the thread to be like some retro pre-Covid zombie that’s been bumped? I’m far note interested in the idea that OP and her cousin are getting away anywhere, than the details of the problem

People can still go on holiday. I doubt U.K. covid rules apply abroad and there won’t be more than six of them anyway.

Glad it has worked out well OP. I think she was waiting for the offer of the deposit refund but had no intention of actually accepting it.
It's a bit like Dnephew getting married offered to pay for all the groomsmen's matching suits except DHs as the unwritten assumption is that we're loaded and can afford it. If they'd offered we would of course have said no, but although we're comfortably off I resent other people spending our money for us.

Anyway well done you for getting away. Didn't realise it was abroad so am jealous now even if it rained and you couldn't shower.

@rookiemere

Glad it has worked out well OP. I think she was waiting for the offer of the deposit refund but had no intention of actually accepting it. It's a bit like Dnephew getting married offered to pay for all the groomsmen's matching suits except DHs as the unwritten assumption is that we're loaded and can afford it. If they'd offered we would of course have said no, but although we're comfortably off I resent other people spending our money for us.

Anyway well done you for getting away. Didn't realise it was abroad so am jealous now even if it rained and you couldn't shower.

I know. I realise we have been very fortunate to get away at all. I have said to ds that even though it has rained a lot etc, we are still very lucky to have been away at all in the current climate and the change of scenery has bern great for his mental health which he has struggled with over the last 12 months

@rookiemere

Glad it has worked out well OP. I think she was waiting for the offer of the deposit refund but had no intention of actually accepting it. It's a bit like Dnephew getting married offered to pay for all the groomsmen's matching suits except DHs as the unwritten assumption is that we're loaded and can afford it. If they'd offered we would of course have said no, but although we're comfortably off I resent other people spending our money for us.

Anyway well done you for getting away. Didn't realise it was abroad so am jealous now even if it rained and you couldn't shower.

Also I didn't mean that just because my cousin is well off, that the loss of money doesnt matter. £100 is still £100 and in your case all the outfits should have been paid for

[quote Chloemol]@Cheeseandlobster

You stated” We dont have a lot of money and there were not many places with good reviews for our budget. So it wasnt a deliberate thing”

Yes it was, otherwise you would have booked one of the other places, knowing you were going next year

Mean[/quote]
My cousin has said she genuinely did not mind us going to the same place before her. She said herself - she goes away probably at least 8 - 10 times a year and understood we had to go where we could afford. If it had been a one off holiday for both of us then of course I would have done it differently even then, and I certainly wouldn't do it the same way again going forward regardless

Is it Kefalonia? My friend was there last week and there was a hurricane and a year's worth of rain in 2 days or something.

I can’t follow your posts, first you cancelled, then you are only thinking of it, you are not making much sense.

But yes if you have or if you are going t o cancel then of course you should refund your cousin. Her being well off does not mean you can be immoral.

Are you able to get even a partial refund from the hotel you've just been to for the poor state of the rooms/no hot water? At least if you got £100/£200 back it would cover the lost deposit for next year?