Was I right to stop DS seeing his dad because his dad had a cold.

[marmite79]

DS was meant to see his dad. Ex mentioned he had a mild cold so I said no not today.

It maybe just a cold but DS has already had one heavy cold since he's been back to school which left him with a hacking cough and needing a covid test - negative.

I don't want him to get ill again so best he doesn't see him until he's better.

Ex says he'll pick germs up at school anyway but if I can minimise the risk of him catching a cold I will.. Every time DS gets a cold he gets a cough!

Aibu?

Yes.. YABU... People get colds!

YANBU

Personally I think YABU. A cold is a perfectly normal part of life, kids get them constantly. I do understand its a bit more problematic at the moment but contact is important - its not really up to you to say yes or no - he doesn't need your permission to see his own child.

Sorry OP, YABU.

If you had a mild cold would you be happy with his dad taking him for a few days without your consent?

YABU.

Yes. Sorry.

There is no way of knowing if its a cold or covid without testing. I wouldn't want to risk it. He can just wait a week surely for the sake of his son's health?

Probably his dad got the cold off your son if he’s just got over one! I think a mild cold shouldn’t stop you visiting a parent! Will you send him to his dads if you feel a cold coming on?

I said no not today.

Is his dad five and somehow also a child of yours? If not YABU.

I think you’re being unreasonable; colds are everywhere at the moment. if your DS was at his dads and you developed a cold would you then say not to bring him back home to you?

YABU. That seems mean, especially as you specified that it’s a ‘mild cold’.

If they lived in the same house what would you?

No he didn't catch the cold off DS as he hasn't seen him for 6 weeks before today. His visits aren't regular..

DS gets a bad cough with a cold every time. I'm not putting him through a covid test again.

Seems OTT to me.

I think your ex is probably right but I don’t blame you. At the moment the hassle is not worth it.

My daughter has asthma so even in normal times every cold is a potential brush with A&E so if I can possibly avoid them I will.

Just to clarify it's the s first time his dad has shown interest in seeing him for 6 weeks. It's not a weekly or regular thing and he only sees him for a couple hours. Doesn't seem worth it when DS could get ill again.

YABU, sorry. You kept him away from his father because of a mild cold.

You did right in my opinion and every sensible minded dad would understand. Yes children get colds all the time, but during a pandemic, you really don’t need the stress. There will be other weekends.

YABU.

If his dad is exhibiting only cold symptoms and no cv symptoms then he should be able to see his son. It’s not like not letting him see a random relative because they have a cold, it’s his dad.

Cv tests are going to be part and parcel of this winter unfortunately and your son will have to get used to them.

Let's take a guess who is going to take time off work should DS develop symptoms and need to isolate while waiting for a test?
If it was a dad who pulled his weight ywbu. But it is a dad who thinks he's an uncle, so crack on, OP, do what you think is best.

I wouldn’t bother. It’s a massive hassle to lockdown and get tested if he gets another cough. If it’s the first time he’s bothered his arse in 6 weeks he can wait another week.

YABVU. It's just a cold.

Don't use your child to get back at being annoyed at his father for not seeing him for 6 weeks. That's not fair on your DS.

Yanbu

I think as you are the one who would have to take and test ds and then take time off of work if ds poorly yanbu.

He could also pick a week to ask to see him when he hasn’t got a cough