To ask what's the loveliest thing a partner has done for you

[Songsofexperience]

Struggling a little bit at the moment. So many posters -too many- seem to have had bad experiences in their relationships. I'd like to believe there's hope out there. Please restore my faith in humanity!

Like PP have said he does lots of nice little things, giving me the pickles from his burger, cutting the white off my egg when making breakfast, setting up my tea in the morning when he leaves for work and me and baby are still snoozing. Kissing my forehead and the DC, in the morning before he goes to work

Years ago I broke my ribs and arm so he bathed me shaved me and the same after I gave birth to DC1 (bit if a traumatic one) and I remember laying there watching him and thought well, cant get much closer than this 😳

He’s helped me raise my two children from being 1 and 3, always happily paying half, never saying a word against their unhinged father, taking their teenage outbursts much better than me. He’s made me a better person for knowing him.

This is the loveliest thread. The fact that I cannot imagine being treated so thoughtfully and kindly as in these examples is... an eye-opener.

Before we got together, I was really struggling on my own, as I didn’t drive and ex was constantly dragging me back to court so money was very tight.

I finally got enough money together to get a gardener to clear my back garden, and in conversation I told DP about it and when my garden was cleared I sent him a photo of my cleared garden followed by the bags and bags of garden waste. I was joking about how long it would take for the bin men to collect it. He insisted on coming to my house and collected all the garden waste (which was soggy from having been rained on) and took it to the dump for me. Wouldn’t accept money to have his car valeted. So I made him lunch as a thank you.

After we got together, one day I decided we should use up all the cupboard staples as it was before payday and didn’t have much spare cash. I cooked the most disgusting cheese and stale bread thing (god knows where I got the recipe from, can’t find it anymore). He ate it and announced it delicious. I was scared he’d get food poisoning! My DC & I had scrambled eggs instead. It was disgusting.

If I ever mention wanting anything he’ll buy it. If I mention certain foods or whatever they’ll appear in the cupboard and if I ever ask he’ll say thought you said we needed it.

When I first saw him cradling his cat like a baby and the way the cat was snuggling into his chest, I knew I wanted to have a baby with him.

He wakes up with the dc every morning.

On my birthday, when I was heavily pregnant with our second child and in an lot of pain and discomfort due to pgp and on maternity leave. He hid roses all over the house and I kept finding roses all day long. I couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot. Still makes me smile remembering. Before DP I’d never had an adult make a fuss of my birthday.

When my older dc buy him humorous socks for every single father’s day he’s always delighted and puts them on and proudly shows off the socks, he’s legendary at work for his socks! 😂

He always picks me up when I need him to.

He’s super protective when I’m pregnant. He is so in love with our DC.

He’s my biggest ally, if I’m beating myself up about something he’ll point out all the reasons why I have nothing to feel guilty about.

He buys me monster munch.

We both work from home and I wake up earlier and go into my office, when he starts work (an hour later) I go in and every single morning without fail he sits me on his knee, says good morning and gives me a long hug. It makes me feel so happy every single morning.

Mine has oh so many flaws and we dont always get on the best. But when we had only been together a few months and I went into anaphylaxis unexpectedly (no previous allergies) on holiday in rural France in the street, he saved my life. He got me 2 ambulances within minutes, showed the paramedics my medication (unusual steroid inhalers - we dont speak French), made sure I didnt shit myself in the street when i came round after collapsing and vomiting all over myself. And stayed in the waiting room (wasn't allowed in the all female ward) for the 8 hours until I was allowed to leave while our friends were at a music festival. I know that when push comes to shove, he'll look after me :)

Gone ahead of me in the queue for the portaloo at a festival and cleaned the loo for me so I could bear to use it.

The big things- when he met me I had (and still have) three children from my first marriage. The love he has for them is amazing and that love was there from early on. When their father died from cancer he was our rock. I have never doubted that he loves them as much as he loves our bio children.

The list of little things are endless.. he always makes sure I have pepsi max in the fridge, he cooks every night, he notices when I am running out of things I need and picks them up for me.

He supports me in everything I do and is my biggest cheerleader. I most certainly could not have worked full time and studied a full time course with five children, without his support and him going out of his way every day for two years to make things easier for me.

Where do I start? He brings me a coffee in bed every morning before he leaves for work, never fails to ask how I slept or how my day was when we get in from work. He does the lions share of the cooking as he enjoys it and knows I find it a chore, completely voluntarily shares care of my beloved cat including the stinky litter tray jobs, he happily goes out for junk supplies when we're hungover, he's thoughtful and loving, he's sociable with and kind to my friends (this is hugely important to me after my EXH).

I really could go on all day, the above is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm very lucky to have found him.

In general, he's really thoughtful, much more so than I am . Brings me cups of coffee and food when I'm working; gets the kids up and ready for school and walks the little one in - this means I don't need to get up until 08:55 as I'm working from home. Enables my laziness! I don't appreciate these little things as much as I should. He always picks me up my favourite chocolate bar if he nips to the shop for milk or something. He'll put up with stuff he doesn't like to make me happy. He really, really loves me, and I could be much better.

Larger ones - the biggest one that sticks in my mind, was that I have a photo of my grandparents on my fridge. They both died years ago, but I still feel close to them and miss them. One christmas, he asked my mum for the negatives for a similar photo which he got blown up and professionally framed. I burst into tears when I opened it. It was so unexpected. Also - I was really, really unwell during my first pregnancy. Quite often confined to bed, I just couldn't get up. That was before I caught a stomach bug and quite literally shit the bed, which he cleaned up, cleaned me up, got me back to bed and then never commented on again.

Brought me breakfast in bed at 10am most mornings during lockdown, without me even asking or suggesting it.

Drove a 400 mile return trip to collect an item from an EBay seller, which he wanted to surprise me with.

Always drives on motorways on road trips as I am anxious about them, drove from north of Inverness to the Lake District in one day without complaining. Also has driven from Bristol to Ayr, again in one day, without suggesting I drive or asking me to drive.

Whenever I leave the living room I have to walk past his chair.
He always clutches my hand and gives it a squeeze.

Nearly 30 years together.

So many. He's a lovely man. The one thing that stands out is picking up the slack when I wasn't myself. Double edged sword as it turns out I had depression but we hadn't picked up on it because all the stuff I dropped he just picked up. He would do a 12 hour shift and come home and make tea, tidy and put the kids to bed. I went to see a counsellor about an unrelated issue and realised I was barley functioning but because husband had stepped up we hadn't realised how bad it had got. He's just the best person and I'm so glad I chose to be with him.

I am autistic and regularly get burnt out by just normal daily life. Covid throwing all our routines out really hasn’t helped. So many times a normal day has left me overwhelmed and a pretty useless functioning person and so many times has he tucked me up under my duvet on the sofa whilst he gets on with chores.

We drove home from our holiday today and I was so tired I kept zoning out with unpacking. He parked me on the sofa, tucked me up whilst he unpacked, did several loads of washing and hung them, went out to buy dinner and cooked it, washed up all our lunch stuff, cleaned both our walking boots and still gave me a cuddle to help me feel better about having to sit up to eat my dinner! He’s amazing and when I express guilt or thanks simply tells me I can’t help it so to sit back and not stress. Sometimes I can’t even speak and he sits with me making suggestions of things that he thinks make me feel better until I nod at one of them.

Everything he does. I've never felt so loved. I hope I do enough back. I love him so, so, much.

Wakes up with the kids & lets me sleep in till he leaves for work, always makes me a coffee to wake up too as well bless him.

We lost our Baby on the 30th of September last year. My OH wasn't able to be with me when I had the scan because he was working and he lives 98 miles away. I'd had to tell him over the phone. Probably by sheer luck that night his delivery was a one trunk drop to where I live. I went to pick him up and we went back to my flat. He shared his tea with me because he knew I probably wouldn't bother making myself anything and then just held me as I cried. I had a panic attack and he sat me up on the settee then disappeared into my bedroom and came back with my duvet and wrapped me up in it, laid me down and then knelt in front of me and gently stroked my face and soothed me until it was over. Then helped me stand up and stood in front of me until Id regained my balance again. Spoke to me all the way back to Depot and asked me to text him my address over so if I needed help during the night he could arrange it for me. Rang me every moment he could each day to make sure I was ok and comforted me when I cried down the phone and spent hours reassuring me it wasn't my fault

He was working on valentines. Bought my mum and me dinner in the place he works, roses, ring, giant card and Teddy. Engraved Champagne glasses for my mum. Only had 5mins to talk and kiss me but made sure we were so spoiled. Everyone else looked so jealous 😂 It was truly the sweetest thing. I love him so much ❤️

Also took me on a 3 day trip after deciding on it at 11pm just after work. We were there by the morning. Loved the sponitinaty, such a good travel companion 😊

Drove me to the hospital at the speed of light at 1am to spend my mums last 6 minutes with her. We’d only been together a few months and I couldn’t have got through it without him.

He shows up for our children and for our marriage, every day, over and over again. This is the loveliest thing he does and we love him for it.

Ah my man is just such a bloody good egg. Most recently I got off a phone call to be led upstairs where he had ran me a bath, lit all the candles and hand picked flowers and lavender from our garden and placed the petals in the water. I actually cried haha 😆 not sure how I didn’t notice him picking flowers while I was on the phone but it was such a wonderful surprise. But more importantly he is just nice all the time, I look forward to him coming home from work everyday so we can chat and cuddle and laugh together. I’ve been with him my entire adult life and honestly wouldn’t change the daft bugger for a second, he’s just wonderful.

Such a lovely thread.
I especially like the general day to day thoughtful gestures as it's so true that little things make a big difference rather than grand gestures.
I do hope those who have not had this realise it is possible.

For me, my DH does so many little things like he always takes the bin out as I hate to do it, he often buys me little treats to cheer me up, will always be the one to go to the shops at night if we've run out of something as he doesn't want me to be in a vulnerable position etc etc. He definitely makes the best cups of tea (despite not drinking it himself!)

He's also made a few grand gestures. Once he bought me an electric keyboard with piano touch keys as I really wanted a piano but we couldn't fit a real one in the house.

He's just lovely. :)

When he first moved in with me my ex would get up when my alarm went off, make me a cup of tea to drink while I got ready for work and then go out and de-ice my car for me.