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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the loveliest thing a partner has done for you

150 replies

Songsofexperience · 26/09/2020 22:33

Struggling a little bit at the moment. So many posters -too many- seem to have had bad experiences in their relationships. I'd like to believe there's hope out there. Please restore my faith in humanity!

OP posts:
Terrace58 · 27/09/2020 01:26

It’s a long, not actually sad story, but We ended up having to move on Christmas Eve and I didn’t get to see our new place before the move. I was disappointed that our daughter’s first Christmas wouldn’t be festive. When we arrived at the new place, my DH had arranged to have a Christmas tree set up and decorated and my dd
Got her first Christmas after all.

notanoctopus · 27/09/2020 01:34

Just always a rock, kind, thoughtful, funny, very hands on dad. Tons of lovely things - from the grandiose surprise holidays to making me a cuppa in the morning, being my rock and helping me through bereavement. My best mate through and through. I love him to pieces. He's an absolute star.

raffle · 27/09/2020 01:48

He scratches/rubs my back every night as I go to sleep. It’s like it’s automatic, I sometimes speak to him while he’s doing it and he doesn’t reply cos he’s sleep rubbing Smile

fastandthecurious · 27/09/2020 02:32

Regularly made the 20 min commute back home from work on his hour lunch break to see me and make me a meal while I was on bed rest when I was pregnant with DS.

Starksforthewin · 27/09/2020 02:36

On my 30th birthday my husband gave me 30 birthday presents..

All thoughtful, some small, some fun. Last one was a diamond and emerald ring! 💍

Then he made breakfast in bed, gave me an hour to get ready, and took me to a gorgeous country house hotel for the weekend.

All planned by him, in secret. I was overwhelmed at the thoughtfulness.
❣️

Vector5 · 27/09/2020 02:56

Built our bed so I could climb into it after we'd spent the day moving two households into our one new joint house.

Picked the peas out of my meal because I hate them

Supported me through an awful diagnosis and never once made me question his commitment

seayork2020 · 27/09/2020 04:11

Moved country

Toilenstripes · 27/09/2020 04:25

I love to take evening baths. We recently bought a new tub that’s deep and the taps are at the end where I cannot reach to turn off the water, so he comes in to the bathroom whenever I call him just to turn off the taps.

Cordial11 · 27/09/2020 04:28

I am extremely lucky. Lovely DP and relationship.

The most lovely thing is showing me respect every day , being there for me and laughing at my jokes (they arn't all good)

I am an organiser and take over everything but there's been a few times he's organised lovely suprises at amazing restaurant where he knows I will love the menu! Booked the get my hair done once before the dinner bless him .

lipstickonapig · 27/09/2020 04:37

ExP used to read to me. There are a lot of reasons why he's an ex, but I loved this. His voice was lyrical. We broke up years ago, but I can still hear him reading The Lord of the Rings.

Merryoldgoat · 27/09/2020 04:37

Loads of stuff.

On the trivial side, a hot water bottle in my side of the bed as a surprise when I’m cold or achy

However the reality is he’s a full equal parent and partner. He doesn’t try to control me, he’s kind, calm, he’s an excellent father.

Both of our children have additional needs. He has unwavering patience and love for them.

I know if we split up he would behave well and with the children’s best interests in mind.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 27/09/2020 04:41

Flew back early from a boys trip to LA when I'd been diagnosed with cancer.

marmiteloversunite · 27/09/2020 04:46

Been together 33 years. Looked after me recently through two mastectomies, chemo and radio. Loved me even with a bald head! He got very good at flower arranging!

PurpleFlower1983 · 27/09/2020 04:48

@pinkstripeycat

It’s so lovely to hear there are good, kind, thoughtful men out there. I think most of it is just normal behaviour but I’ve never experienced it. I’m obviously not good at picking, neither is my sister, mum or nan.
My ex was also a contestant for the world’s biggest arsehole, I definitely didn’t get it right first time.
Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 27/09/2020 04:50

I won't claim to have a perfect relationship by any means but my husband is generous and has a good heart. He invited me to move in with him 3 weeks into our relationship because we were both living away from home in a new city and my housemate turned out to be crazy. I then proceded to tear the ligaments in my ankle
playing netball, so he carried me up and down the stairs to our flat every day and helped me in and out of the shower while I was on crutches. A few weeks after that I developed pneumonia and he nursed me through that without complaint. He buys special gifts, chocolates or flowers when he knows I'm missing my family or needing a pick me up. He cooks and does the dishes most nights and does his share with the kids. I am lucky. It should be the norm but I know it still isn't, so I am grateful.

Kote · 27/09/2020 04:58

DH was abroad on our 5th anniversary and I wasn't going to join him for another month. When I got home that day there was a huge box outside the front door. Inside was a bouquet of roses and a note that said '5 years on and it's still just the beginning' It made my heart flutter!

Moonshinemisses · 27/09/2020 05:05

No big gestures but lots of little things. Makes me tea in the morning when I get home. Cooks lovely things for me to eat at work, buys my favorite wine without prompting. Most of all he goes and has a cuppa with my mum when I don't have time. He is a really good man and I'm so glad I married him. Twice!

mumof2exhausted · 27/09/2020 05:10

Years ago (pre kids) when renovating our new (ridiculously run down house) we were pretty much living in our bedroom with no kitchen, carpets etc. Even though it was by no means a priority on a particularly tough work week for me he arranged for a beautiful roll top bath to be plumbed in the main bathroom for me as a surprise whilst I was at work. Having a bath is one of my most favourite ways to relax and not had one for months as bathroom had been ripped out. He was away that week for work, when I came home exhausted I had a text to check bathroom and there it was amongst the rubble, my beautiful bath. There was also a box of chocolates and wine there to enjoy in it as well. He doesn’t care about baths, money was tight as we had so much work to do but I had said when we first met the one thing I would love in my house as a grown up was a big stand alone iron bath bath with the lion feet and he remembered. He’s not one for romantic gestures so I loved this so much.

BiblioX · 27/09/2020 05:16

Every day mine shows such love and generosity of spirit. The most romantic thing he ever did was go to work hours early (3am) just so he could finish early when I was in hospital. I had nobody else, wasn’t expecting him till evening, yet I saw him come in the ward at lunchtime...he’s still surprised I find this so touching but it made me feel really cared for.

Cbatothinkofausername · 27/09/2020 05:32

We were fairly recently dating when my mother died, and when it came to the funeral he stood in the receiving line next to me, and was shaking the hand of every single guest that entered.

During the funeral ceremony he held my hand so tightly I thought he would never let it go. As my mum’s coffin disappeared I knew at that moment that this was the man I would marry.

This was 18 years ago but even now he still surprises me with small moments of sweetness. Every time I wake up a bit early to iron his shirt for him, or on the other hand every time I get welcomed at the door with him making me my favourite sandwich, I thank the universe for sending him to me.

modelthroughit · 27/09/2020 05:44

We were in a pet shop, looking for something for our friends’ dogs. She found me looking at a particular hamster, who had captured my attention. My previous one had died a while ago, so we were pet-less. She’s not bothered by hamsters but made suitable admiring noises. We paid for the dog stuff and left.

When I got home a couple of days later, she sent me on a spurious errand to my home study. You guessed it - the hamster was in situ, happy in a cage with all the bits and bobs she needed.

I named her Hillary, and she was so sweet tempered and cuddly 💙

To ask what's the loveliest thing a partner has done for you
Longsleepneeded · 27/09/2020 05:54

Lots of little things that make my life easier daily, does his fair share round the house, has looked after both our boys from 9 months old on the days i go to work, makes packed lunches for all of us cos i hate doing it, fills the car with diesel cos i hate doing it! Is generally calm, kind and thoughtful, runs me baths after long days at work, cooks most nights, is funny and is a great dad, just a lovely man generally!

Tunnocks34 · 27/09/2020 06:02

I wouldn’t be able to tell you. He’s the most thoughtful person, much more so than I.

It’s often the smaller things I love the most:

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/09/2020 06:03

I’ve just had major surgery again - came home yesterday. He’s at my beck and call. He chopped me up an apple at 2.30 am and brought me a bucket about an hour ago as I thought I was going to be sick - I wasn’t but was a few times in hospital from the anaesthesia. He’ll be at the pharmacy later buying some different medicine as I can’t take the one, which made me feel very nauseous... He went to McDonald’s for me yesterday as I fancied one and will be making food for me for a while etc.

grool · 27/09/2020 06:51

He used to get up during the night to bring crying DD to me to feed in bed, then when she was asleep would take her and put her down again.

Cooks every meal for us, including a Sunday roast most weeks which he puts a lot of effort into and is always delicious.

Does his fair share of the housework and childcare when he is off despite him working full time and me part time.

Gets up early to let me have a lie in on a Sunday despite him always having to wake up early throughout the week (got myself up today though as too much life stuff to get on with!)

The kindest thing he's ever said to me, was when I asked him if he could change one physical aspect about me what would it be? Obviously I thought he'd come back with the standard "nothing, you're perfect" that you'd expect with that type of question so was a bit put out when I could see him thinking about it. And then he said "I'd make your feet smaller, because I know how much it upsets you when you can't find shoes that fit" 😭 Basically, he is the best 😊

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