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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what's the loveliest thing a partner has done for you

150 replies

Songsofexperience · 26/09/2020 22:33

Struggling a little bit at the moment. So many posters -too many- seem to have had bad experiences in their relationships. I'd like to believe there's hope out there. Please restore my faith in humanity!

OP posts:

Zhx3 · 27/09/2020 07:03

@PleaseGodLetItEnd

In a good relationship it’s an accumulation of small things rather than a big gesture (the rotters love a grand gesture, in my experience). My lovely DH is considerate of me in the decisions he makes every day, without having to make a song and dance about it. Which would for make a shit romcom but makes for a lovely life.

I agree with this! When I think about how kind my husband is, my immediate thought is how he makes me a cup of tea every morning. It's his consistent consideration that makes him so lovely.

Skigal86 · 27/09/2020 07:15

Mine does lots of lovely things for me, but the most recent would be running me a bath last night. I was giving the toddler her dinner and he called me and asked if I’d like him to run me a bath, admittedly I eyed him with some suspicion At first mainly because it was 5pm and I hadn’t had a particularly tough day but I felt soooo good afterwards!

spacepoppers · 27/09/2020 07:37

Recently my DH went out to an Indian restaurant with his friends. I received a takeaway delivery of said Indian whilst he was there, as he knew I wouldn't bother to make dinner for myself

Kolsch · 27/09/2020 07:40

There are too many to mention, but he's always put me and the kids before himself.
He's fab.

LakieLady · 27/09/2020 07:44

So, so many.

Always brings me tea in bed when he's awake before me, cooks my favourite meals, buys me peppermint cream bars when he sees them (not many shops stock them round our way), takes really good care of my dog and doesn't mind that she is currently occupying most of the bed, helped me shower, dress and do my hair when I'd had surgery on my arm and did a 70 mile round trip to see me, even though he knew I'd barely be awake, took me to the out-of-hours hospital when I had a migraine so bad I'd been vomiting several times an hour for over 24 hours, helps me in the garden even though he hates gardening, rubs my feet while we watch tv, doesn't quibble about any of my extravagances despite being a tightwad careful with money himself, fills my car up with petrol because he knows I hate doing it...

So many things that putting them into words has made me appreciate him even more, so thanks for starting the thread OP.

Ashdownstar · 27/09/2020 07:48

Mine is simply kind and considerate. And funny. Sometimes we're busy just doing nothing much together, and he'll say, I think we're good together. And we are ♥️

Forkrightorf · 27/09/2020 07:49

I think I've posted this before but it's a good example of him being thoughtful;
DH rang me just as I was getting in the bath, I told him I couldn't talk as I'd had a crappy stressful day with the children and just wanted an hour of quiet before the baby woke for a feed and I'd speak to him when he was home. Turns out he was phoning because I'd left a key in the door but he sat on the drive for an hour so I could have my bath and not traipse downstairs to let him in. He is generally kind and thoughtful, I like to think I am to him too!

DaBaDe · 27/09/2020 07:51

My DH is very thoughtful and will do an equal amount of chores without thinking he's a hero!

For some reason, he adores me. If I said I was staying in bed all day he would just bring me drinks and food, he's also never sworn at me or said anything in anger in over 12 years of our relationship.

He gently washed my feet when I couldn't after an operation and I knew then I loved him and would marry him :)

He also never nags me about how untidy I am!!

DaBaDe · 27/09/2020 07:53

Oh and he makes me laugh every single day. He's so funny and just my favourite person in the world to be with.

Newmumatlast · 27/09/2020 07:58

my husband is honestly the most amazing human. He had an extremely difficult childhood and could easily hate people as a result. He could easily not know how to be kind and loving. But he has fought against it and for those he thinks are worth it he will do anything. Luckily I am one of them. He makes me tea, cooks if I've had a hard day at work and Will surprise me having gone and bought all of the ingredients. He goes and gets me treats from the supermarket when I need it. In the early days of studying and career if I was having a tough time working he would agree I could work in bed though it disturbed him or would sleep on the sofa next to me. He would drive over an hour each way to pick me up from events and nights out. He books days off to drive me to work projects when I have to leave early but have been working like a dog for weeks. He has driven hours to take me to dinner when I've had a tough time and been away from him. I could go on and on he is just fab

PrettyCherryBlossom · 27/09/2020 08:12

What a lovely thread!
I know I’m very lucky to have an amazing DH, there are too many thoughtful acts to mention but I recently lost my mum and he was there to support me. He took care of our children and home life so I could spend my mum’s final days by her side, and after she died he continued to look after everything at home so I could grieve without having to worry about anything else.
On a lighter note, he makes the best g&t’s, and always seems to know the right moment to offer me one!

drumandthebass · 27/09/2020 08:20

One of my most recent ones was last year I had a temporary warehouse job which I detested. As
It was such an unfriendly workplace I'd sit in my car at
break times on my phone with my flask of coffee. I forgot my phone one day and my husband found my spare car key (just managing to find something is a miracle) and drove to where I worked and placed my phone in the car along with a bag of my favourite crisps and a chocolate bar. Such a small thing but It still makes my smile

Nocaloriesinchocolate · 27/09/2020 08:21

Didn’t blame me for a single second when i accidentally ran over and killed our beloved cat (who was sleeping under the car) and devoted himself to soothing me rather than expressing his own grief

DrDetriment · 27/09/2020 08:26

We are struggling for money at the moment and every day my DP goes in the evening to multiple supermarkets to find cheap food. Whatever the weather off he goes without any complaint. This every day thing means the world to me.
In the couple of years we have been together he has never raised his voice to me, never sworn or shouted and has been nothing but kind and considerate.

AnnaMagnani · 27/09/2020 08:32

In a good relationship it’s an accumulation of small things rather than a big gesture (the rotters love a grand gesture, in my experience)

Totally this. DH and I were watching I, Tonya yesterday and she had just made up with her abusive husband and he had put rose petals down all through the house. We laughed so much as never in 1000 years would DH think of scattering rose petals for me through the house to be romantic - but then, he's not an abusive shit either!

DH does lovely things every day like make breakfast and lunch, sort out the dishwasher, feed the cats, do the litter trays even though he didn't actually like cats when he met me We talk about stuff, have things in common and shortly he is going to make me an espresso.

RainbowFlowers · 27/09/2020 08:44

My husband did the night feeds for the last two nights and had both little ones yesterday while I went out for lunch and drinks.

I have to ban myself every now and again from reading the relationship posts on here as it makes me paranoid. Lol.

Original poster

Songsofexperience · 27/09/2020 08:49

Thanks for all the heartwarming posts! I also agree that it's the small daily tokens of consideration that make the difference. And when that's entirely missing, well... that's the cue, isn't it?
Good to hear there are good ones out there.

OP posts:

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/09/2020 09:07

There are plenty of good ones out there but obviously no one will come into the mn pit of doom and start a thread about their great DH. Look what happens to people who start thread about having more than 50 quid and 1 chicken😂

But I agree that the positivity is sometimes needed😁

RosieGirl27 · 27/09/2020 09:09

Mine makes dinner every night after a long day at work. He also brought me home lunch on his lunch break the other week (20 minute commute) because he was worried I hadn’t eaten as DS was being a bit of a handful and crying every time I put him down. He does so much for us all I don’t begrudge dragging him out of bed every morning as the man can sleep through the loudest of alarm clocks.

Whatup · 27/09/2020 09:10

Made me bacon sandwiches for breakfast yesterday morning

SerenDippitty · 27/09/2020 09:20

He’s just wonderful all round. Little things like packing
my Earl Grey teabags when we go to a hotel. He looks after me if I’m ill if I’m ill. He’d never buy something expensive for himself without running it past me. He considers me in everything which is what makes a good partner. I agree that those who are into big romantic gestures are often actually narcissists.

whyarewehardofthinking · 27/09/2020 09:31

Ran me a bath to relax in last night despite being on his knees with work (both secondary teachers in Manc/Bolton). I actually think he is more exhausted than me, but I am his priority, as are our DDs and he comes last at the moment apparently! He even took the dog out so I could sit down for more than 5 minutes. My turn to make him a priority next week; I have more classes isolating than him!

It is the little things that make a difference.

Jaxhog · 27/09/2020 09:33

Mine learned and then sang 'American Pie' to me on my birthday! It was a favourite song at the time and he never sings normally.

Jaxhog · 27/09/2020 09:35

He also brings me little treats (I do too).

bearlyactive · 27/09/2020 09:43

This is a great thread, thank you OP!

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