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Original poster

FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARE DIVORCED/SEPERATED

103 replies

RegularNameChanger106 · 26/09/2020 19:42

What was the final nail in the coffin?
What was last thing your ex did to make you finally leave them?

OP posts:
Original poster
RegularNameChanger106 · 26/09/2020 19:47

For background, I’m asking as a woman who has reached the end of my tether with dp, am so close to walking straight out of this door and never looking back.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 26/09/2020 19:49

I can't even remember tbh. I think that sometimes the straw that breaks the camel's back is irrelevant.

Bouledeneige · 26/09/2020 19:50

Well I suppose it was the 10 month affair with the women 20 years younger than him and then the fact that he picked the next one up on the tube whilst I was at home with his 6 yr old and 4 yr old.

Cocomarine · 26/09/2020 19:51

Actually nothing.
He’d cheated, more than once. We were trying to make it work Hmm
Then one day there was a rumour about redundancies at work. I thought - financially I could leave so easily now, well paid permanent job, new mortgage would be easy to go.
So I ended it.
And I understood why people used the expression, “a weight off your shoulders” Smile

Covert20 · 26/09/2020 19:51

He told me he hated women. That he watched porn because he liked seeing them being degraded. Really.

Merrymumoftwo · 26/09/2020 19:53

Never came home til really late when child was young (was prem baby with lots of issues)
Never helped with anything
Blamed me if he lost something
The final nail was he left for days came back and said he was leaving and threatened to take our child so I would never see them again and kill my family

ghostyslovesheets · 26/09/2020 19:53

his 3rd affair

BloggersBlog · 26/09/2020 19:53

He started affecting the dcs. I could put up with him being a tit to me, but when I saw their faces when he stopped hiding it from them - he was out

gingeristhenewblack43 · 26/09/2020 19:54

The affair he started whilst I was on mat leave and experiencing severe PND. 7 years ago today I discovered the evidence.

GoGoPowerScooter · 26/09/2020 19:54

Probably his drinking five bottles of wine in response to my request for him not to get as pissed on my fortieth birthday as he did most nights. Kicked the fucker out the next day and never looked back. Four years later and life is still awesome without him.

Yellredder · 26/09/2020 19:55

He went missing. (I mean long-term, not just overnight).

TheDuchessofMalfy · 26/09/2020 19:55

Eating a yoghurt in slow motion when I needed his help getting the kids to bed.

claireb7rg · 26/09/2020 19:57

Cheat on me...

he was selfish,
arrogant,
wasn't empathetic or sympathetic towards me,
i had to go away with work for 2 weeks and I came home and he hadn't done anything around the house,
I went away for 2 weeks over Christmas (he didn't want to go) to see my brother who was living in the US at the time and I came home and the present I had bought him hadn't been touched, he hadn't got me a present and again hadn't done anything round the house,
he was anal about the heating (I have fibromyalgia and suffer with the cold) and he was always turning it down or off,
he seemed to want a housekeeper not a wife

but the final straw was I found out (accidentally) that he was sleeping with his work colleague (who was with a long term partner), he was buying her underwear and clothes, wanted to go away with her (as said before he never seemed to want to go away with me).

I didn't tell him I had found out until I had spoken to a divorce lawyer and got the draft papers ready

he then refused to sign them if they said adultery so had to go down the unreasonable behaviour route and listed most of the above. I got him to pay the court costs. that was nearly 6 years ago now - best decision I ever made!

slipperywhensparticus · 26/09/2020 19:57

he was arrested for something really nasty sadly he got away with it and I've still got to deal with him now as we have two children together he even made me wait five years for the divorce ffs

Stripesgalore · 26/09/2020 19:58

There wasn’t a final straw. I just waited until the kids were old enough that they could make their own decision to never be around him.

Because he would have fought to have them had them half the time, and then destroyed them emotionally.

I basically left at the point I felt it was safest to do so.

Emancipated · 26/09/2020 19:59

Realising he valued money more than my mental health.

Givemeabreak88 · 26/09/2020 19:59

He left me...

spanieleyes · 26/09/2020 20:01

He left me and moved 5,000 miles away. That was pretty emphatic!

PurpleSweetPeas · 26/09/2020 20:02

Truthfully, he bought a pizza not big enough for 2 kids which was meant for 2 adults and 2 kids.
He admitted to being on the phone to work.
This was after a week in Cornwall that was meant to be his last chance to prove himself. He spent all the time on the phone to work
And that was after 6 months where he put work first after I told him I couldn't do it any more.

Sadly the last straw should have been one of the times he hit me or ignored me or watched me cry with not a sign of affection.

But it wasn't, it was the sodding pizza

Port1aCastis · 26/09/2020 20:02

Broke my arm because I apparently was shagging someone else.....I wasn't. That was the day I grabbed DD and ran

Seeingadistance · 26/09/2020 20:03

He stopped speaking to me for a month.

TheyAreMinerals · 26/09/2020 20:05

When he told me, "this isn't your house, it isn't your home, so if you don't like it, leave". After moving a couple of virtual strangers in without consulting me. It was his house in fact. But he was very surprised when I actually called his bluff and left.

Plenty of other reasons, but that was the tipping point.

LilyLongJohn · 26/09/2020 20:08

He told me if I went for lunch with my friend, not to bother coming home.

So I didn't.

stormsurfer · 26/09/2020 20:09

He told me the trouble with me was that I would never just simply accept the inequality between us.

SpottedOnMN · 26/09/2020 20:10

I caught him sneaking his phone out to call the other woman he’d promised to stop talking to.