Would you send your child to private school if you could afford to?

[Diadora30]

A bit of a dilemma, my DS is due to start school next year, we live in a small village in the south west and the local primary is a 5 minute walk. It is rated as a ‘good’ school by Ofsted (I know ofsted reports are not the be all and end all).

In the next town there is an independent school with a pre prep, prep and senior school. It has amazing facilities and I’ve heard really good things about the teaching, there’s smaller class sizes and the pastoral care is meant to be excellent. It would be a 15-20 min drive to get there.

It would cost about 8% of our income for the next 3 years, and then slightly more as he progressed to higher years.

I don’t know why, but I feel torn. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Does it make a difference in the long term? Is it worth sending him to our village primary and then paying for some extra curricular activities instead?

He’s very energetic and loves all sports and the independent school is very sports based.

My 2 are at Private Secondary but went to State Primary.
If we hadn’t been able to get them into a good State Primary they would have gone Private there too but it wasn’t necessary.
I am really glad we did it that way for the following reasons
Primary was large and mixed in terms of wealth etc so the dc have experience outside of the a Private “bubble “
My dc were so much more streetwise in Y7 than their peers who had been in The Prep
I didn’t have to go back to work FT
We saved so we have a good buffer now
The DC have friends from different backgrounds

Yes, 100% yes. If I could afford it I would definitely put my children in private education. I really wish I had the money

Depends on the school and on the child.

What is the OfSted (or its equivalent) at the private school?

I would send him to the local school - it is so important to be able to make friends locally. And in a small village it is likely to be a small school with a family feel. Dashing about in the car each day when it is not necessary seems just silly to me.

An OfSted Good can be hard won - Outstanding is very hard to get - Good is definitely good enough.

Let him go locally and meet lots of mates to have play dates with. You can always go private at secondary.

My initial answer is no, but actually I probably would have sent her to a selective school (rather than a fee paying school) if it had been right for her.

I chose not to privately educate my children despite being able to afford to. My GP left me money to spend on dc’s education but the local schools are ok and the nearest independent is 45 minutes away. It seems wrong to just keep the money so I donate the cost of the independent school to the state school my dc’s attend. It’s actually been a huge help for the school and it’s really lovely to see the money actually go towards something tangible that lots of kids can benefit from.

My D.C. went to state Primary . My DD won a place at a local Grammar School. When my son was 8 years old, the HT asked me to go in and said they had tested him and hadn’t realised he was so bright and that, if we could , we should send him to a private school. I was very upset about this because I really didn’t want to be one of those teachers in a state school who sent their children privately. But we did it (it was a struggle) and it was the best thing we ever did for him. It was the right environment for him and he made life long friends.

Yes, especially since you say it has amazing facilities and you’ve heard great things about the teaching. I would always take word of mouth over ofsted reports because I’ve worked at nurseries and the ones rated outstanding are not the best ones in my opinion.

I would recommend visiting the schools involved and getting a feel for them. Talk to the teachers, look at the work on display, find out about the extra curricular stuff, find out about staff turnover etc etc.

Our DC has been private all the way (now in secondary) and we have no regrets. It's been a huge push financially, but I'd do it all again. Our DC only get one chance at school learning, and we have prioritised that above most other things.

Five min walk to a good local primary is a no brainer. Private school will always be there for secondary or if for some reason things don't work out sooner. But being able to walk to school and have local school friends far outweighs driving everyday and sporty facilities at this formative stage. I'm sure facilities at the local school are perfectly fine.

If we had the money - state primary and most definitely private secondary. If funds were limited I would prioritise yr9-yr13 private.

If we could truly afford it yes. I was in private schools from age 8 to 18 & I'm convinced I wouldn't have done as well academically as I did if I'd gone to a state school. But I had RAF paying half of my fees & then an assisted place whereas we'd have to pay & we could just stretch to pay for fees but I hated being 'poor' compared to my peers so i would want DD to have the full experience which we couldn't afford.

It's not just the fees, it's all the trips, hideously expensive uniform, etc etc.

What's the village vibe like? When I lived in a village there was a real community feel, children at the same school, all in same sports clubs, brownies etc. Quite suffocating if I'm honest, but the point is, anyone sending child to a private school would have been regarded with serious suspicion as stuck up and thinking themselves better than the rest of us. Especially when the village school was good and a village focal point.

I expect others will dismiss these factors but if I were you I'd consider the possible impact of making your child 'different' like this. You can always switch to private later if you're unhappy with the state school.

Depends on the child, the school and how much of a financial sacrifice it is.

I work in a very well regarded prep with pre-prep. Lovely school but not right for every child.

Also, I see the financial struggles of some patents played out in the back end and think that it’s too much of a sacrifice for some.

8% of income doesn’t mean much - if you need that 8% to eat/pay rent etc. it’s too much. If you routinely save 30% then go for it.

Depending on circumstances at the time we'd consider sixth form or possibly GCSE years as well, I'm not convinced private primary is necessary unless the local state schools are dreadful.

No. I think the value of having local friendships with all sorts of kids outweighs any advantage. Social skills are so important. You can stretch him academically and with sports at home if you feel he needs it.

We can afford it and briefly considered it for ds2, who used to struggle with the noise of our local school.

In your case I’d use some of the money and time saved to join some clubs.

Yes I would

I’m content with the current primary school as it’s quite small and the children do get one to one but if I could afford to send them privately I would

Also as PP mention there are lots of extras - costs ramp up and I’d be concerned if I felt that would be a stretch.

Primary no, secondary yes absolutely if we could afford it.

Sorry, one more thing, children tend to be more scattered at private so friends further afield, whereas we have all DDs friends within walking distance.

My friend from senior school boarded & hated not having local friends so even though they could afford private they choose the local village school so their DC have lots of local friends.

Depends on the school. If I won the lottery tomorrow I would move near the coast & my parents and use private as local state not so good & private's excellent.
In my current area primary is excellent so wouldn't bother but if I could find the right secondary & we decide not to 11+ in neighbouring area - yes!

100% yes, no doubt at all.

We can’t afford to though and they’re very few and far between where we are anyway.

Yes I would (and do).

I would consider the local primary for infants, or up to end of year 6 IF you will be able to transfer easily to the private for secondary. If it oversubscribed and has a demanding entrance test at year 7 or year 9, I would move much earlier, as your child won't get the preparation they will need from a state primary.That's not sneering at state, or saying they don't teach well, it's just that private preps have more time, can cover more ground, and will prepare them well.

No. I would try and send my child to an excellent state school so that they meet a broader range of people, as reflected in society.

Yes, simply for the fact that their education wouldn’t be disrupted by dysfunctional children whose parents don’t care. The teacher don’t spend their time managing behaviours and actually get to teach.

It’s not just fees it’s the private school lifestyle (trips, uniforms, expectations of friends etc) if it was me I would go local good primary school with some extra curricular and save what I would be paying In fees to give post 11 education choices with less burden.