To remove the toy guns

[AlmostAlwyn]

I've ordered a second hand playmobil set for DS (3.5). There's lots of people and horses and a prison/jail cell type thing. I imagine it's some kind of wild west themed set as there also quite a few rifles. I told DH that I was going to take the guns away and he thinks I'm being ridiculous, I can't pretend guns don't exist, etc.

DS is on a bit of a police/robbers track at the moment so AIBU to avoid the 'guns and what they do' chat for a bit longer?

those tiny bits of plastic are not going to turn him into a mass murderer!

And no one is saying they will.

However, I do think we need to be much more questioning of how we, as a culture, indulge these particular killing machines, leading to a view that it’s absolutely fine for male pre schoolers to engage with replicas of them. As has been pointed out, it doesn’t apply to knives for example.

It’s the same culture (much, much magnified) that has resulted in the powerful gun lobbies in the US and the problems with gun violence over there.

It’s right to not perpetuate it in my view.

My niece does it too... But we are talking about a boy in this situation. A loss! Thanks. I'm not worried about how my kids play. They are well rounded. Doing well for their age at school sure not geniuses. But they know the difference between pretend play and shooting people in real life.

@Laughingcrow

My niece does it too... But we are talking about a boy in this situation. A loss! Thanks. I'm not worried about how my kids play. They are well rounded. Doing well for their age at school sure not geniuses. But they know the difference between pretend play and shooting people in real life.

We’re only talking about boys because people seem determined to think it’s innate for little boys to want a gun. It isn’t.

You either believe violence is biological, which is why they have an instinctive urge to carve a gun out of toast. Or you see it as societal, in which case there’s absolutely no reason for them to have a gun at all, and no need for them to feel so deprived by not having one.

I just see kids playing with a toy given to them. Don't see it doing any long term damage. I'm happy with what i do. OP should make a decision and own it and not care what others think. I said my opinion. Im happy with it. You do you

But I'm going to leave with one more thing.... Would you feel the same if he was playing knights with a sword? Or robin hood with a bow and arrow or a superhero with their weapon like batman? He's all about the weapons. Or even buzz light year which is a toy who thinks he can shoot a Lazer or is that all different

But they know the difference between pretend play and shooting people in real life.

Sure. My point is that the culture we facilitate and encourage by allowing gun play creates a problematic environment for those who aren’t so good at distinguishing.

Would you feel the same if he was playing knights with a sword? Or robin hood with a bow and arrow

Well if my child was regularly role playing killing with these weapons, yes I would be concerned.

But the issue with guns in particular is that they are more deadly than any of those weapons and require a lot less skill to wield.

@Laughingcrow

But I'm going to leave with one more thing.... Would you feel the same if he was playing knights with a sword? Or robin hood with a bow and arrow or a superhero with their weapon like batman? He's all about the weapons. Or even buzz light year which is a toy who thinks he can shoot a Lazer or is that all different

No pretend violence is the message in our house.

How do you say ‘yes, pretend shoot and pretend kill, but don’t pretend stab, don’t pretend hang’ - how do say ‘here’s the line in what violence is allowed’?

I don't think skill comes down to this to be honest. The thing is a lot of toys promote violence. You can't say one is more violent than another. Apart from killing what else does a sword, bow and arrow and laser gun do. What else are they going to do with it if they have them? If you are going to take away guns for the violence and killing then fine, but takeaway other weapon like toys too. Because apart from being a weapon what else would they be played with as?

Cross post with pumper. That was for five

I know that wasn’t addressed to me but you seem to think it’s hypocritical for people to say ‘no guns, but here’s a buzz lightyear’ but absolutely not hypocritical to say ‘no knives or noises, but here’s a gun’.

*nooses

Apart from killing what else does a sword, bow and arrow and laser gun do.

Well sport for one thing.

The problem with a gun is that every time they point a gun at someone else, they’re play-acting killing, whether they understand that or not. Because killing someone with a gun is a reasonable possibility, even for the uninitiated. Small children have done it.

Pumper. But that's what I'm saying. If you are going to be unhappy about the guns then OP has to not let her kids play with any of the others too! If you make a decision like that then it will have to be broader than guns. If you make that decision fair enough. Well done to you. I would struggle with that as they learn from others and in my opinion it's not as damaging as other things. For example. I choose not to drink and same for DH. I have friends who drink and their kids pretend to drink wine or ask their mummy if she's drinking gin tonight. I see alcoholism as more of a realistic danger than the guns in my kids Playmobil because they are more likely to come across alcohol in real life and it be abused than a gun. All parents have their opinions. Just been sharing mine

In fairness, mine don’t play with swords/bow and arrows either.

I didn't say anything about noises not being allowed...

Pumper. But that's what I'm saying. If you are going to be unhappy about the guns then OP has to not let her kids play with any of the others too! If you make a decision like that then it will have to be broader than guns.

That’s not what you’re saying though - you’re saying you allow them to play with some violent toys, how does that make you less of a hypocrite? How have you made a moral choice between guns and knives that it somehow more correct than ‘no guns’?

For example. I choose not to drink and same for DH. I have friends who drink and their kids pretend to drink wine or ask their mummy if she's drinking gin tonight.

But do they buy them a play cocktail set and encourage them to mix up G&Ts.

No.

Which is the apt comparison to guns as toys.

No I let them play with any of them . I'm putting it forward to the OP that if you allow one then you allow all if you don't allow one then you don't allow any! I haven't said mine aren't allowed to play with anything

No but I have heard mum and dad's special juice!

So? That’s not a toy.

@Laughingcrow

No I let them play with any of them . I'm putting it forward to the OP that if you allow one then you allow all if you don't allow one then you don't allow any! I haven't said mine aren't allowed to play with anything

You let them play pretend hangings? Pretend lynchings? Stabbing animals? Nothing is off limits pretend-violence-wise in your house?

That’s very unusual then.

The reason why we don’t have pretend cocktail kits and wine tasting sets for 3 year olds is because we recognise that’s entirely inappropriate behaviour for them, therefore we don’t encourage role play around it.

Quite why we don’t apply the same logic to guns is baffling to me.

We are talking about toys. They don't play hangings no. But they haven't done it for me to have thought about that to be honest. Nor animals but we are vegetarian...

I find 'pretending to kill' such a weird idea to teach to, or allow in, young children. So I don't allow gun play either.

Other games I don't allow are stabbings, hangings, rape, sexual assault, self harm games, eating disorder games, or any other types of thing that I think are serious and sad realities of a grown up world. I don't know how gun killings made it into child's play, but I'm not keen on it.