To remove the toy guns

[AlmostAlwyn]

I've ordered a second hand playmobil set for DS (3.5). There's lots of people and horses and a prison/jail cell type thing. I imagine it's some kind of wild west themed set as there also quite a few rifles. I told DH that I was going to take the guns away and he thinks I'm being ridiculous, I can't pretend guns don't exist, etc.

DS is on a bit of a police/robbers track at the moment so AIBU to avoid the 'guns and what they do' chat for a bit longer?

@Proudboomer

Your children so your choice but why didn’t you just buy a different set if you feel so strongly. Airport, farm, fire engines, shops, football, skateboarding. The list is pretty endless when it comes to play mobile sets.

It's second hand and the price was good for the number of people and horses plus the jail. I thought he'd enjoy it for the robbers thing he's into at the moment, but the guns are, in my opinion, an unnecessary element.

So far, I'm not finding the "but he'll just make guns out of toast anyway!!" argument very persuasive.

I would do this with my PFB. No guns allowed. Except nerf.

From playmobile...no way, just let them play with it.

However, my boys built up quite a collection of nerf guns, it caused me so much hassle. I wish I never allowed them, they soon went to the charity shop. I like a peaceful life!

@roarfeckingroarr

I would do this with my PFB. No guns allowed. Except nerf.

Well, that makes sense. Not.

My DS was given a Playmobil set as a present - some sort of cops & robbers heist, robbers had hats that looked like rolled up balaclavas, crow bars and guns. My DH threw it out. He's been on the wrong end of a sawn off shotgun whilst working in a bank that was raided. It would have been hard to think of a worse present for DS from that point of view. There are some "weapon" toys where you can take the focus off killing and make it about skill, hitting a target and so on, and as he got older I think he's had 1 nerf gun and he plays games like Fortnight, but really the detail in that particular Playmobil set really gave us nowhere to go, without triggering PTSD in DH that is.

My son shots everything mainly with his fingers, but does have some tiny playmobil guns. To be honest he's always looking for them and it's the most annoying as they get lost easily.

I would say he had the tiny guns a while before he was really into them. It only happened from watching police cartoons with some shooting on YouTube. Now yes I try to redirect these and if I see them I say it's too violent and turn it to something more wholesome. I can't seem to block them, now he's watched them. His YouTube account is on restricted mode and I press not interested or dislike as often as possible. I tried clearing them all, clearing the cache but doesn't seem to work. They link from things like paw patrol. Very annoying. Seem to be videos of computer games content ( someone playing it.) I have explained what guns do. Like when a bug is killed. He understands dead bugs, don't come back. But the problem with video games and toys is they do come back to life.

I try to stop him shooting people when out but he is always at it. However he's not an otherwise aggressive boy, very shy and not boisterous. He's asked for a nerf blaster as the older boys across the road have them and he wants to join in.

But if you think about it I watched Tom and Jerry cartoons et al and it's all violence and getting killed, but coming back to life. And I've managed not to become a violent axe murder.

Tour son has a whole lifetime ahead of him to see the other dark side of the world. Leave it be for now I would suggest.

Thanks for all the opinions so far! I did (genuinely) want to be persuaded if I was being unreasonable, but I haven't been swayed yet!

My friend won't allow his kids to play with toy guns of any description. They live in an area where real guns are used on the streets and he simply does not want them to be seen as a toy.

YANBU DH is just moving into a role in a gangs unit, weapons are not toys.
For all the people saying oh my toddler ate toast into the shape of a gun, made one from stickle bricks etc, how do they even know what guns are? DS is nearly two and wouldn't have a clue, we don't buy toy guns and if given one I would take it away, but luckily no one I know would buy a toy like that anyway. Maybe it's because we're not really a TV family, the only things DS watches are hey duggee and Shaun the sheep, neither of which feature guns, he has a bookcase full of books and strangely as they are aimed at toddlers they don't feature guns. Our police don't carry them which I understand would raise questions from children in other countries. DH and I both work in different parts of the justice sector and see some horrific things but we are very careful not to talk about most of it around DS who is at the copy every word stage. Toddlers don't just innately know what guns are. Yes he will become aware when he gets older and we will have that conversation with him, in the context of our professional experiences.

At 3ish kids often learn about superheroes (Avengers for example) or character like Buzz Lightyear who has a laser in his arm but aims it like a gun and fires. I'm not suggesting that they are watching 12a Avengers but there are cartoon spin-offs of say Star Wars eg Lego Star Wars where they fire guns.

If kids have older siblings they might pretend to be Spider-Man and shoot web out of their fingers.

I’d remove them too.
My DS is 12 and I can honestly say it’s never occurred to him over the past decade to use a stick or anything else as a toy gun (and no toy guns apart from a neglected nerf gun).
Funny how girls don’t use sticks and hands to play shooting games, isn’t it? There is no reason for this other than cultural conditioning imo.

I’m totally with you OP. There’s just no need for toys based on weapons designed to kill people. I grew up in NI though, so guns as a fun toy sits very badly with me.

3.5 is still so little.

If they make guns out of stick or whatever, you deal with that at the time. I don’t see why that justifies buying them replicas to play with. And I’ve never heard of a child making a gun out of toast in my life.

@Pumperthepumper

Hahahha! Boys and their innate, unavoidable, love of violence! Adorable.

This.

Girls don't all turn every object around them into a weapon, so why do we expect boys to do so?

Cut their fingers and thumbs off too.... They will use those as pretend guns too!

They will use those as pretend guns too!

But why does that justify buying them replicas of guns to play with?

It doesn't but people buy need guns, super heros with laser guns, etc. It's on most films aged 12 and over. You can't hide them from him forever. He will find a way to replicate a gun. Most boys do. Whether they learnt from culture or from a.video or another person it happens. It never bothered the generations before us who would play cops and robbers and cow boys. It doesn't promote gun culture. I'm pretty sure my two boys living in a small south east village won't be running to find a real gun. Yes in some areas kids do get into gangs etc as they are older perhaps in London areas? But that's also down to parenting and explaining and teaching..not hiding little bits of plastic FFS. Educate your child don't hide things

She’s not hiding the fact that guns exist. She’s simply not encouraging her 3.5 year old to base play around it.

Well you do you. But it's something unavoidable in the end. Most boys, not all, but most I know will pretend to fire a gun by the time they are in pre school. The tiny little Playmobil gun is not going to change anything or encourage or discourage anything. If we were talking about a pretend lifesize Ak47 then yes I would agree with you. But a tiny smidge of plastic then no. If she said she was going to throw away as it was a choking hazard then I would be all about that! I would be more worried about that tbh!

Oh I remember my brother making guns out of Lego they were such a feeble imitation! My parents didn't allow toy guns other than the good old super soakers!

I don't see guns as a part of "play". It's not a necessary thing for them to role-play. Same with play knives, why would anyone want their child to pretend to stab or shoot someone?

I just don't get it!

But it's something unavoidable in the end. Most boys, not all, but most I know will pretend to fire a gun by the time they are in pre school.

Firstly, I don’t think that’s true at all.

Secondly, I don’t see why that means we have to normalise it in the toys we buy

Same with play knives, why would anyone want their child to pretend to stab or shoot someone?

Exactly. If kids were routinely enacting stab scenes we’d be taking them to the psychologist.

I guess your boys have never play fought! Good luck when they do. Mine wrestle, pretend to kill each other etc. They don't hurt each other though. They are also very gentle with their little sister and actually very sensible and are never in trouble at school. I'm not saying force them to play with them but it's probably going to happen eventually and those tiny bits of plastic are not going to turn him into a mass murderer!

Most boys, not all, but most I know will pretend to fire a gun by the time they are in pre school.

But not girls - so needing a gun is something that only manifests in that Y chromosome? Violence in males is biological?

Mine goof around for sure, they wrestle. They don’t pretend to kill each other with automatic weapons though. What a loss!