At my wits end. Can't afford nursery. No toddler groups.

[lasangoles]

My toddler is nearly two. He's an absolute nutter (words of the childminder, not me!) and doesn't do well without social interaction. Not a chance I could stay at home with him all day regularly and he needs to run about and let off steam. We do have a garden but it's out of action and will be for a while as we have a dangerous tree that's being removed soon then work being done which will take weeks. I'd like to book him in to a day of nursery every week, but can't afford it. It would cost me an extra 250 a month which isn't possible. There are absolutely no available toddler groups near me that a) are running or b) aren't booked up for the term. I booked him in to a baby dance class and it was a disaster. He needs something sensory, that's less structured. On our local council website, there are 40 different groups listed, 35 are closed due to covid, the other 5 are booked up for months.

I'm at the end of my tether. I just want a weekly something I can do with him where he can interact with other kids and benefit from some sensory learning. The only other kids at the cm are older than him.

Any suggestions?

“ Parks are as boring or interesting as you make them. Autumn is the best season, conkers, acorns, leafs, loads if free toys around! Mind are 3 and 7, and need several hours of exercise daily, autumn is by far the easiest season”

Already doing all this stuff last year, and this year the same with new baby in sling, in all weathers. Still like meeting up with other adults and children, plus indoor options would help. Empathy went out the window when Covid arrived, I know

@RedskyAtnight

We go to the park in all weather, too, especially at the moment, but don't you find doing it every day as boring as fuck?

As opposed to toddler groups which are the most interesting thing ever?

I wouldn't want to do any toddler activity as the only one we do. I like the park, toddler groups, softplay, swimming, going for a walk, going round someone else's house to play, going to an open farm, going to the zoo - but I don't want to do any of them on an endless loop where it's all we can do. Which is why I think it's annoying when people - nearly always those who don't actually have toddlers anymore so have never parented a toddler through Covid restrictions just say 'oh, take them to the park, they have just as much fun there!'. Maybe they do, but I'm so bored of all our local parks and I'm a person too!

During lockdown when we could only go walking distance we went to feed the ducks every day and tbh by the end of it I think the ducks were bored, let alone me.

@Hardbackwriter. by the end of it I think the ducks were bored, let alone me

And probably obese ! There were some very fat geese waddling around at our local pond by the time the restrictions were loosened.

nearly always those who don't actually have toddlers anymore so have never parented a toddler through Covid restrictions just say 'oh, take them to the park, they have just as much fun there!'.

Granted I don't have a toddler any more, but when I did have, I couldn't really afford to do anything that wasn't free. So it was the park every day in all weathers; I used to go round different ones, rotating what we did there (go for a walk, climb on the trees, play with a ball, play hide and seek ...). Sometimes I'd meet other parents (no one I knew could afford to pay for the groups on a regular basis either) and chat to them. For me, that's the norm, having the option to go to lots of organised groups should be considered a bonus!

And yes, my DS did enjoy playing in the park more than any of the toddler groups I ever took him to (thinking he was missing out by not going). Some children clearly do thrive at and love them, but OP's DS does not sound like a toddler that appreciates a structured group either.

I think you're either being a bit rose-tinted about how much fun it was to go to the park every single day or you're just a very different person than me who is much more easily contented and entertained (which is a gift!), which is absolutely fine but OP clearly is more like me and is struggling without variety, so I don't how helpful it is to tell her that she should just go to the park and like it!

Where does everyone live that everything is back on?

My youngest started Reception this Sept but I'm still in the loop for various of his activities from our normal week before March - & there's no pre school swimming lesson, no pre school gym class, Monday playgroup isn't opening up, Thursday playgroup isn't opening up, I could pay £8 for a music class that he was never interested in which has started back. Soft play has opened 40 minutes away but the one in our town has remained closed. There really aren't any options!

@Hardbackwriter No rose tinted glasses here, there was no part of looking after a toddler that was fun. Going to the park every day was simply no better or worse than anything else I might do with them. I doubt very many adults really find it fun to go to toddler groups/soft play/petting zoos either (as evidenced by the complete lack of adults that do these things who don't have small children in tow) but you get on with it because your children do enjoy it and you know it's not appropriate to take them to activities that you might actually enjoy yourself.

I like toddler groups! I LOVE being able to talk to another adult & my child making a mess somewhere else.

I used to take mine to museums quite often in winter - little local ones with quirky collections that were free for locals and might have a little drawing area or brass rubbings etc. Nothing fancy, but somewhere when the weather was terrible that wasn’t our house for a bit. Now they either haven’t opened again (staffed by older volunteers) or booking processes and social distancing and one-way systems make it harder to go on a whim and allow him to explore

And the library! We loved the library but our local ones are either closed or just too restrictive to be a sensible outing with a toddler

Borage I’m in London, and everything isn’t back on, but enough things are that you don’t have to be stuck in the house all day.

Museums are open, though you have to stick to a pre-booked time slot. Swimming lessons aren’t open, but the family swim sessions are. All the toddler music classes are shut, and soft play is shut, but the Tumbletots sessions are open. Libraries are open but they aren’t doing Rhymetime Etc etc.

Outside of London, near my mum’s house, the local soft play is open, the local farm is open, and they seem to have toddler classes running. But the pools are shut. Seems to be entirely random.

And yes you can make the park more exciting - we took a magnifying glass DS got off the front of a Peppa magazine and went looking for bugs, we collected different shape leaves, we fed the ducks/pigeons/squirrels/ravens, we take his bike or a tennis racquet and ball, or a football.... you don’t have to just sit on the swings.

I also have a nutter of a toddler! He’s better now but we could never do anything that had structure because he’d be all over the place. I found that the trampoline park and our National trust membership worked best for us. Tumble tots was an absolute disaster.

OP I hear you. My DS2 is nearly 2 & there are no playgroups near us that have re-opened. The park is all well & good; but not a hard & fast solution for freezing winter weather & rainy days. Soft play is open but it costs a fortune & I couldn’t afford it as a regular weekly thing. My DS2 is a very busy little lad & needs physical stimulation, otherwise he literally turns the house upside down. I must admit I’m really dreading this autumn/winter because I just don’t have a clue what I’m going to do with him on rubbish weather days

Swimming was a god send when DS was that age. Tired him out completely.

I know you said your garden is off limits but could you fit a small trampoline in it somewhere? Then he would be zipped inside the safety net and not running around?

Fairybatman We used to love swimming but none of the pools near me are open to toddlers at the moment

@Ori32 get a balance bike or scooter - DS wears himself out much faster on his bike than he does just walking about. He’ll do 2-3 km round the park in half an hour or so (from my step tracker - sadly not in a straight circuit, round and round and backward and forwards). I wouldn’t want to spend three hours in a playground in heavy rain, but I can cope with a quick whiz around the park in most weathers. Now he’s a bit more sensible I can take my bike too and ride alongside him on the bike path.

We got the balance bike when he was 2 yrs 9 months (Xmas) but honestly he could have used it way earlier. He had a go on one in a shop when he was 2 yrs 4 months and was whizzing round on it straight away.

I sympathise OP. I used to go to four toddler groups a week with DD and now none of them are on, library not open for browsing either. I really miss having that routine of a place to go each day. Jealous of people who have groups back on!

Those who have mentioned local church toddler groups, are you in the UK? None have been open anywhere near us since March and aren't planning to until spring 2021.

Toddler and I miss them so much. She'll be in preschool once they reopen though so probably won't go to them again.

Local library is shut, we went to another nearby that said they were open but when we got there the toddler section was taped up.

Managed to get onto some classes and DD is really good and stays on the mat, but it is 45 mins on your own mat and not allowed to move around the room or interact with other children and she just doesn't enjoy it so far

@forrestgreen whereabouts do you live? I don't know anywhere that has toddler playgroups open

Have you looked on your local nextdoor.com? Not particulalry been looking for them, but ours have had child activity type things on there, Or post looking for other parents in a similar situation so that you could meet up with one in a park for the children to let off steam.

So sorry OP. Sounds like the best thing for him would be a local unstructured playgroup or maybe a forest school? Really hard when so little is running.

More might be running than you think- Happity only listed 2 toddler groups near us, but then DH found a toddler music group at a music centre near us that is running classes, and they weren’t listed on there. Maybe worth ringing round?

If you can’t go to a class do you go to the park with him every day? Great way to meet other Mum’s. If we don’t have other plans we take our DS to the park every day, without fail - really helps.

How old did you say he is? If he’s 2 and you’re a low income household you should get some free hours for nursery each week.