At my wits end. Can't afford nursery. No toddler groups.

[lasangoles]

My toddler is nearly two. He's an absolute nutter (words of the childminder, not me!) and doesn't do well without social interaction. Not a chance I could stay at home with him all day regularly and he needs to run about and let off steam. We do have a garden but it's out of action and will be for a while as we have a dangerous tree that's being removed soon then work being done which will take weeks. I'd like to book him in to a day of nursery every week, but can't afford it. It would cost me an extra 250 a month which isn't possible. There are absolutely no available toddler groups near me that a) are running or b) aren't booked up for the term. I booked him in to a baby dance class and it was a disaster. He needs something sensory, that's less structured. On our local council website, there are 40 different groups listed, 35 are closed due to covid, the other 5 are booked up for months.

I'm at the end of my tether. I just want a weekly something I can do with him where he can interact with other kids and benefit from some sensory learning. The only other kids at the cm are older than him.

Any suggestions?

That comment about not having more children is so, so hurtful. I know, it's a stranger on the Internet, but I didn't come here to ask whether I should have anymore children. I already question myself enough. I am recovering from leaving an abusive relationship. I'm recovering from rape and assault. I do struggle sometimes, yes, but I'm a damn good parent and the fact that I am trying my best to recognise my son's needs and want him to have the best possible experience during his toddler years should show you enough that I am trying.

Wow friendsof the earth thats a bit harsh, if the Op did have more kids at least they could play together, having a 2 year old and limited activities is hard work, especially as a single parent trying to juggle all the childcare, work and money worries.

I think you're worrying too much about him playing with others who are his age. They don't really play together, at 2, more alongside. I'm sure he'll be getting a lot from interacting with the older children at the childminder's. I'd focus on burning off his energy every day he's with you in the mornings. Parks are great for this.

Have you tried/do you have a Kindergym near you.

I had an energiser bunny child and this was amazing for him. Held in a proper working gym with huge (HUGE) foampit and swings over it, Trampoline, fully padded floor, balance bars as well as specialist kids gym equipment.
Absolutely fabulous for kids who need proprioceptive input, and he would fall asleep in the car on the way home too!

Thanks everyone for the advice. Going to turn mn off for a day or so.

@Friendsoftheearth

I would think twice before having any more dc if you are struggling with one, as it becomes much more of a juggle in general when you have newborns/older siblings in the mix.

Sorry did I miss the part where OP said she wanted anymore children? You're jumping to conclusions. HELLOOO we're in a pandemic and it's hard to try and find things to do with your kids.

Stop judging people by YOUR experience. You struggled. Doesn't mean everyone else will.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

It’s so hard, I’m dreading winter with a toddler and I can’t pretend, I’m lucky she goes to nursery a few days a wk. The only child activity open near us is trampoline parks with a morning toddler hr

Same for us. We also go to a weekly toddler swimming lesson which I really enjoy but I don't know if that's more to the structured end that what you're looking for, OP (or if you've looked but that's one of the booked up things) - it's also quite expensive.

We go to the playground a lot, which tbh I'm pretty bored of but DS enjoys and it does blow off some steam.

ReeseWitherfork.
Tumbletots cost a fortune And are very structured.

Unless you are in strict lockdown, most playgrounds should still be opened. If your child already goes to a childminder some days, there's plenty to occupy a 2 year old outside.

Just don't stay stuck at home all day, you will both get absolutely crazy.

Hi OP

Swimming lessons? Our local ones are up and running again. Most 2 year olds dont interact with each other though they tend to play along side each other til they are around 3, I am not sure he 'needs' social interaction at 2 (I appreciate you do)

Have you got any friends where you can just go to the play park together? Or put something on mush to find some people in similar situations otherwise

And actually I can't take him to the toddler session at the trampoline park - literally the only thing open - because pregnant women aren't allowed on the trampolines! DH has started taking him once a week; it is quite expensive, though.

My almost 2 year old does rugby, that might be more what you are after. There are quite a few classes for sports at this age, football, karate etc.

Don't have any suggestions that haven't been mentioned but just wanted to reassure you that at 2, my little boy was an absolute hellion and TERRIBLE with other children, constantly needed support with socialisation, hated structured sessions and often refused to leave my side at toddler groups (except to scream at another child if they came too close). He's 3 and a half now and is a different boy, LOVES other children, is calm and adores the structure of preschool. I couldn't see him ever going from that to how he is now but he's definitely not the handful he once was. Hang on in there, hopefully you will find some things to occupy him and things start to settle down

Also trampoline parks are open round here and they have toddler sessions.

My 2 suggestions, mirroring those above are; t go to the park with a football and bread for ducks if appropriate and just hang about there every day, other children will come and go to distract and stimulate him and to arrange a regular meet-up , perhaps swapping houses with 2 or 3 other mothers with children aged 0-4. It will support you as well as entertain him. You could incorporate a sing song if that appealed. I sympathise .

UC will cover some of it. Childcare cost goes up, childcare element of UC will also go up (assuming you're not already hitting the limit with the childminder).

Do a benefits calculation with how much it would cost and you should be able to see roughly what you'll be entitled to.

Could you switch to a different nursery or childminder that is similar in price? If you want things to do together, go to a busy local playground. My 2 year old has found other toddlers to play with there, though obviously harder when the weather is not goo. What about looking at your local NCT and Facebook groups for parents? I have never done anything structured at that age as I was working and when I had days off, I wanted to enjoy time together and not be tied to a group. But I would often meet up with friends that I met through NCT so our dc could play together. And it's not unusual for other parents to post looking to arrange playdates, so it may be a matter of you reaching out and finding someone in a similar situation.

A play-group/pre-school is am amazing idea, they're usually quite cheap for a couple of hours in either a morning or afternoon, usually in a church hall or similar and they have loads of little activities to do which will burn some energy off!! how come the dance class was a disaster, was he just too over stimulated, or just not enjoy it? sometimes they need a few sessions somewhere to settle in a tad?

Alternatively you could get on social media and look at places near you such as farms/soft play/trampoline parks as they often do organised toddler sessions which don't show up on a basic google search, as they aren't a 'toddler class' as such and they advertise them themselves and again these can be pretty inexpensive.

Also, the hunting down other mums of toddlers might be a good idea too, if you're in this position you can bet lots of other toddler mums will be too, if you set something up you could well end up being hailed a local hero

And finally....Ignore idiots on the internet!!!! the comment about you not having other children was shitty and unnecessary! don't focus on it as you've had loads of helpful advice and tips on this thread so dont leave the thread because of someone who doesn't think before they type

@Friendsoftheearth

I would think twice before having any more dc if you are struggling with one, as it becomes much more of a juggle in general when you have newborns/older siblings in the mix.

And the award for the most helpful post of the day goes to...……..

If you're a lone parent are you sure he's not entitled to free hours after he turns two? You'd at least get money towards childcare costs via UC/tax credits?

Sorry, it's different for UC and free hours, sorry about that

Also, the hunting down other mums of toddlers might be a good idea too, if you're in this position you can bet lots of other toddler mums will be too, if you set something up you could well end up being hailed a local hero grin

She could definitely try and set something up with another parent or two, but I think part of the problem is that she can't do anything bigger than that, and nor can anyone else, because of the rule of six. My local toddler group had accepted they couldn't do indoors but was starting to do park meet-ups at a set time but they've had to stop. I think if OP put out a general plea on social media for people to meet up at such and such a place at such and such a time she'd actually be organising an illegal event?

@Friendsoftheearth what the f*? Hardly anything is running at the moment! Must be incredibly difficult for mums with toddlers- I would have struggled as had twin boys. Nightmare. I would just look further afield if you drive for anything and everything that might be open or have a place. Failing that, I would take him every morning out somewhere, park, kick leaves, woods, playgrounds are all open. Wrap up warm and find somewhere to burn off energy. The socialising is crap at the moment but I would try to find at least one other mum via fb or similar that had a preschooler to join us

Preschool is cheaper And can do shorter sessions which makes it cheaper again. I would also get good waterproofs, a thermal mug and try and make the most of this winter going for walks, splashing in the puddles, playing with sticks, play parks, feeding ducks etc. This time will pass, he will get easier.

I would think twice before having any more dc if you are struggling with one, as it becomes much more of a juggle in general when you have newborns/older siblings in the mix.

What an utterly cunty thing to say. Is there something actually wrong with you?