At my wits end. Can't afford nursery. No toddler groups.

[lasangoles]

My toddler is nearly two. He's an absolute nutter (words of the childminder, not me!) and doesn't do well without social interaction. Not a chance I could stay at home with him all day regularly and he needs to run about and let off steam. We do have a garden but it's out of action and will be for a while as we have a dangerous tree that's being removed soon then work being done which will take weeks. I'd like to book him in to a day of nursery every week, but can't afford it. It would cost me an extra 250 a month which isn't possible. There are absolutely no available toddler groups near me that a) are running or b) aren't booked up for the term. I booked him in to a baby dance class and it was a disaster. He needs something sensory, that's less structured. On our local council website, there are 40 different groups listed, 35 are closed due to covid, the other 5 are booked up for months.

I'm at the end of my tether. I just want a weekly something I can do with him where he can interact with other kids and benefit from some sensory learning. The only other kids at the cm are older than him.

Any suggestions?

Solidarity OP. Apart from paid groups (all of which sold out in about 5 minutes!) and soft play, barely anything has reopened for young children - no playgroups, children centres shut, no fun sessions at the library. In local lockdown too so can't even go to a friend's house for a playdate. We're doing a lot of walks and trips to playground but I'm dreading the weather taking a turn. Currently planning on alternating soft play and swimming each week and then spending a lot of time clambering over sofa cushions the rest of the time.

Look for something like playball, rugby tots, toddler football, if its organised sport outside, its allowed. Lots that normally opperate in church halls are going outside.

It's not cheap, but cheaper than nursery.

Is there a local parents Facebook group you could post on to see if another parent wants to meet at the park or similar, there are probably other parents in similar positions who are missing their usual groups and would like their kids to have a bit of socialising with others their own age.

Playgroup/preschool is a great idea, they are usually pretty cheap compared to nursery. I paid £13 for 3 hours/£26 for 6 hours. They tend to be lovely, homely settings with lots of unstructured playtime, crafts, toys etc.

A lot is closed at the moment, so it's hard to entertain them if they need to get out. A lot of the lovely/free/cheap things are closed too - sure starts (if you are lucky enough to still have them), library story time etc.

Do you have more than one park close for some variety (for you, mainly)? Any friends with similar age kids?

Ignore the rude comment from earlier on the thread, it was very unnecessary and not fair on you at all. You are doing a great job.

What about swimming ?

Not a structured group, just normal swimming. He'll be exhausted when he comes out.

I just wanted to add, why don’t you email any groups you do want to go to and ask to go on a waiting list or even if you can come for a week if they have a cancellation. They might be grateful of any extra money.
And alternate the parks you go to if you can, it’s gets a bit like Groundhog Day at times!

I’m sure you are doing an excellent job in very difficult circumstances. I had a toddler who was like the Duracell bunny and didn’t really like structured groups. It’s very hard thinking of ways to wear them out all the time but it does get easier!

I would think twice before having any more dc if you are struggling with one, as it becomes much more of a juggle in general when you have newborns/older siblings in the mix

Totally irrelevant, but thanks for trying.

OP, I am in a similar boat. My youngest is a bit younger than your son but I'm still tearing my hair out being stuck home with her all the time. She is very active and social and I feel awful that we aren't getting out and doing more. Almost everyrhing that I had planned for her this year has been cancelled due to covid, or has very reduced numbers so we've no chance of getting in.

Sorry, I have no helpful suggestions but just wanted to say that you're not alone.

I can beat the £20 a day, we have them from a fiver a session here. They can't fill the spaces, as not enough parents needing them.

This won't help with the social interaction but I recommend long country or park walks if you have any nearby. DS loves rolling in the mud or dirt and climbing trees in all weather (all-in-one rainsuits are great!) and comes home exhausted and ready for a long sleep.

@Hardbackwriter common sense was assumed in that the OP would stick to the guidelines and have no more than the 6 people allowed (depending on where in the country she lives)

P.s. ignore the nasty comments. There are some people on here who think it's bad parenting if a 2 year old can't sit quietly doing an 1000 piece jigsaw or reading War and Peace all day.

Ignore the absolute cunt!

www.gov.uk/browse/childcare-parenting/childcare

Look at this to see what help you'd be entitled to with fees- even if it's just the tax free claim.

Definitely look at preschools rather than private nursery's. A lot will take from aged 2. We pay £16 for 4 hours for my 2 year old, and that's in Surrey.

My local trampoline park does a free play toddler only session every morning- that might be great for your little one, even if you have to travel.

Have a look at forest schools. Lots do parent and toddler sessions.

I've got a toddler without any groups or activities to go to either - so I can relate Park play dates are my lifeline right now. Does your child have some friends he could run around with once or twice a week? Sorry if I'm stating the obvious!

Do you have any slightly wild outside space near you where you could start a free outdoor group with other parents in the same situation? We used to go to this group sometimes and it was lovely.

www.nature-play.co.uk/south-east-london-uk.html

Have you looked into a National Trust membership? You can pay monthly so not too pricy. Lots of them have playgrounds and adventure trails and lots to do. If there’s enough by you it might be worth the money.

Look for a forest school in your area

I think a lot of people on this thread aren't actually grasping just how curtailed activities are now, @Mulhollandmagoo. A lot of the move to outdoor activities etc that people keep mentioning were based on the idea of up to 30 people outside so a lot of plans have now been paused (again) after the rule change. I think people think the OP has a lot more options than she actually has, if her area is like mine.

I was just thinking that @hardbackwriter.

Soft play? I don't know where has open soft play now!

Likewise virtually all of the other things.

I'd love to take my DD swimming but at the moment it'd be absolutely punitive for me and for her with all the rules.

Absolutely stupid to see the OP worrying about coping with an active toddler under pandemic rules, and to conclude she shouldn't have more children. What a load of crap!

@TheGirlWithAPrince

how expensive are your nurserys :S my sons nursery is £20 a day £80 a month ...

That's insanely cheap! All the ones round here are £50+ a day. DS does two days a week and it costs over £400 a month

I wouldn’t worry about him playing with other two year olds!

DD has a 2 year old cousin and a 4 year old cousin and she gets along with the older cousin so much better- they play really well together. I actually think it’s great for children this age to interact with kids a bit older.

He’ll be happy with trips to the park, baking, painting, being outdoors and just spending time with you in general. I am missing our toddler groups as I work 3 days a week too (DD does go to nursery, though). I think sometimes we really worry about our little ones too much- but looking back, most adults now wouldn’t have even gone to nursery/ play dates/ preschool and turned out okay.

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo

What about swimming ?

Not a structured group, just normal swimming. He'll be exhausted when he comes out.

This is a good idea

Boys are very active OP. Try play groups?
Or something like Eureka? You buy a pass for the year? Find a local park and make it your weekly routine.

Go to the closest park or playground. If you go regularly at the same time each week, you'll probably meet other parents in the same position. Invest in a decent winter coat and thermos flask for yourself!

Agree, many people commenting here really have no idea how the restrictions are either making things extremely difficult to do with toddlers, or just not possible at all. Swimming around here is restricted to over-11s, no family sessions. Very little that is free or low cost is accessible for toddlers right now. I really miss toddler groups, they were good for providing entertainment and exploration that didn’t come from my creativity and energy. I meet up with a couple of local friends with toddlers in the park as a regular arrangement and it has stopped me going completely bonkers. I wish you the very best OP, it is very hard work at the moment

another suggstion for forest schools