To think I can wear what the fuck I like at 47

[Midlifelights]

My (judgmental) mother thinks I ‘shouldn’t’ be wearing dungarees at my hideously old age of 47 🙄 I should also not ever wear a bikini again and should now have transitioned into tankini’s or a one piece. Animal print also apparently not appropriate.

Aibu to think WTF? I feel like I look ok for my age (not that it fucking matters anyway) and that i can wear whatever I want to wear.

I like nice clothes and shock horror I like wearing bikinis too and genuinely give zero fucks what anyone else thinks.

Is it a generational thing? You must transition to m & s stretchy wear by 45?

@CeaseAndDesist

Oh god, she has Fear of Grey Hair too??

I let my grey come through 3 years ago and I now have an absolutely fabulous full head of silver which gets compliments all the time. And it looks even more beautiful now I can sweep it up because it's LONGER, the horror, the horror!

Women internalise so much utter bullshit about how they 'should' look. It's so depressing.

You’re lucky. Not all of us go Silver. I am going elderly badger. I would love a full head of silver or white hair but until that point I will dye.

I was told about not having long hair after 40.
Sod that. My hair is nearly waist length and grey to boot! I have had it short but it doesn't feel right, it's not "me".
Same with clothes, wear what you like. Sometimes I'm in jeans, sometimes floaty hippy stuff, sometimes fitted things. Bugger what others think.
Oh and I'm nearly 55 😊

I fucking love just getting on with my fucking hate! I only punctuate it with falling to my knees to give gratitude to the universe that I don't live in fucking Tehran.

@squeekums

*If you're putting effort into a look, you want others to appreciate it?* Nope, I just want to like what I look like in the mirror

I admire your confidence. I think a lot of women want a bit of validation (approval?) for what they're wearing. You only have to look on here to see women asking "Do you like this dress? Does this suit me? Which shoes? Should I get this haircut?"

It's a shame but there it is. I'm just a bit sceptical about women that claim they don't give a fuck what people think. Maybe I'm just jealous of their self confidence

I'd feel really hurt if I was routinely criticised for my clothes and told I was too old for this or that because I worry about these things (a bit).

My question would be, if not now, then when? Wear whatever the fuck you like and don't give a damn. Life is too fleeting for anything else.

Reminds me of the Warning poem by Jenny Joseph
"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple."

Yes, wear what you like.

As for the question of where these arbitrary rules come from... look no further than the dyspeptic denizens of any "Tell me your unpopular opinions" thread... twats.

I’m 54 and it never occurred to me that other folk might be silently judging my attire. My mum wouldn’t have, but other people might be.

I wish people would just live and let live.

I will scoop my eyes out with a Tommee Tippee weaning spoon before I cut my hair off purely due to age.

If you suit short hair and rock a pixie cut, bloody good for you. Go for it. However this expectation that women should lop their hair off arbitrarily once they get to a certain age drives me demented. I'm going to practise fancy Edwardian updos and put peacock feathers in my carefully entwined braids aged 80,not get the menopause chop fgs. When did it become a thing?

Wear what you like. Your mother doesn't get to dictate.

Don't sneer at those of us who do like M & S though. For some of us that is what works.

@JohnMcCainsDeathStare
So short hair could be to disguise thinning hair and more brittle hair - less of a thing if you combine being well-nourished with keep up your muscle mass/bone density.

Does muscle mass/bone density affect hair growth? Genuine question.

My mum asked me at the weekend, if at my age (43) did I not think I was too old for ripped jeans?
my reply was obviously not as I was wearing them

Tell Mum its 2020 not 1970! Of course you can wear what you like .I went out for my Birthday Dinner at a smart french Restaurant last week. Wore boots with my long dress (long story bad ankle cant wear Sandals ATM) My DS young and very pretty 20 something GF was wearing Trainers with her off the shoulder dress .(looked great)! What is wrong with dungarees FFS! We live near the beach and I have seen several older women sporting pretty Bikinis !

My MIL has given up on the speeches about how women over 30 should cut their hair and progressed to passive aggressive observations. "Gosh, doesn't your hair bother you in this heat?" "Shouldn't you tie your hair back when you're doing that?" (Changing a nappy?) For context, my hair is around shoulder length and is thick and full but in her eyes, I'm a wild untamed hippy.

Let's not even get into her comments about my band tshirts. Sorry, we can't all pull off the Hyacinth Bouquet look.

Bettb Good for you! Was in Topshop /new Look with DD and saw several older women (looking 65 /70!) in there shopping for clothes!

If a DH or a DP said this it would be totally unacceptable. Exactly the same if DM says it or quite frankly if anyone says it. Tell them to do one.

Tell her to sod off, she’s being ridiculous.

I'm 50 and my mother wants me to have long hair, not short.
Mothers frequently want to advise their daughters what to wear. It's not a generational thing. It IS extremely irritating.
What's wrong with M and S classic though? Criticising things other women may wear isn't really the way forward.

@nosswith

You can wear whatever you choose. Hopefully you are also one of the very few people in the UK with some sense of style.

Rude

Re why did women stop wearing headscarves. In the 60s most people didn't have a shower (some people still didn't have bathrooms) so washing your own hair was quite a faff. Many women had a hairdo on a Friday (shampoo and set) so covered their manky hair on in between days. Either that or put curlers in themselves and covered them with a headscarf. I doubt that applied to the Queen though.

"I'm just a bit sceptical about women that claim they don't give a fuck what people think."

Hand on heart, I genuinely don't. You should try it - it's fucking liberating!

I think everyone should wear what they feel comfy and happy in.

The world is hard at the moment, we should take what joy and pleasure we can from it - even if it’s just small things like enjoying the clothes we want to wear!

I think most women like the idea of growing out disgracefully, not caring what others think, being 80 and rocking stripy leggings and waist length hair but it rarely happens.

You generally stick to a look, a certain style of clothes, your favourite make up and it's viewed as dated by the younger generation as you age. Twin sets, head scarves and hair set in curls was achingly trendy at one time.

Age plays a part as well. Hair ages like skin, it becomes brittle, coarse and hard work to have long.

@CeaseAndDesist

I've never understood tankinis. What's the point of them?

(For me) They're easier & a better fit than a one piece & less horrifying for the general public than a bikini (on me).

I'm 47 I'm still and Indie chick at heart. I wear band T shirts still.

Fortunately my mother 75, has Vivienne Westwood as her role model and nothing I wore would ever be outrageous/inappropriate enough!