To think I can wear what the fuck I like at 47

[Midlifelights]

My (judgmental) mother thinks I ‘shouldn’t’ be wearing dungarees at my hideously old age of 47 🙄 I should also not ever wear a bikini again and should now have transitioned into tankini’s or a one piece. Animal print also apparently not appropriate.

Aibu to think WTF? I feel like I look ok for my age (not that it fucking matters anyway) and that i can wear whatever I want to wear.

I like nice clothes and shock horror I like wearing bikinis too and genuinely give zero fucks what anyone else thinks.

Is it a generational thing? You must transition to m & s stretchy wear by 45?

Your DM sounds envious of your youthfulness and sartorial freedom, and wants to bring you safely into the oldies’ club.

@CigarsofthePharoahs try some Lucy & Yak dungarees, not a button in sight! I leave the straps tied up and just slip them on and off, super easy.

@snitzelvoncrumb

I think my mums generation did get old a lot younger if that makes sense. The best part of reaching our 40s is that we are born with only so many fucks to give, and since we gave so many in our 20s we don't have many left, so use them sparingly!

Here we go again I'm old enough to be your mother. I wear skinny jeans and so do many of my friends. This is as ageist as the OP's mum

I give zero fucks what anyone else thinks I always think this is an odd comment in relation to clothes. Surely everyone cares how they are perceived to some extent? If you're putting effort into a look, you want others to appreciate it?

Your mum is being hurtful with her criticism. Have you told her that instead of internally fuming? Enough mum stop telling me what I should and should not wear..

It's as if she still regards you as a child or teen who needs to be told what to wear She should be respecting your clothing chioces now you're an adult!

I suppose if you directly asked her Do you like my new dungarees then she could tactfully say No. Her fairly rigid ideas about "dressing for your age" are generational so don't take it heart.

My mum often has an opinion on matters of appearance. I remember her visiting when I'd just given birth and saying in a horrified manner "Ugh you're not dressed! Are you depressed?" and then commenting about not "letting myself go"

@Nanny0gg I wasn’t saying she should dye her hair- more commenting on the ‘rules’ she has for everything

I had this off my dm when I was in my 20s I shouldn't wear short skirts etc. She was told unless shes financing my wardrobe she can shove her opinions where the sun dont shine.
People dont have to look if they dont like what your wearing.

oh ignore the bat, I have one in my ear too, telling me to cut my hair that's 'always hanging round your face' and 'as you get older you should have short hair'. NO, Mother, it's my hair not yours

Unless your mum is still buying all your clothes for you (unlikely at 47) then it's hard to see why she feels she has a say in this.

P. S. I feel I should add a few FUCKS and one or two random CUNTS here, just for KaptainKaveman to froth over. Have fun, Kavey!

[quote MinnieMountain]@CeaseAndDesist it's easier to go to the loo in them according to MIL. She likes to keep her stomach covered.[/quote]
I'm picturing an elderly woman with those snaps up the inside of the legs of her dungarees, like toddlers have!

I was watching The Crown (late to the party) and I suddenly thought, when did older women stop wearing headscarfs? My Grandmas both wore them, also the rain shower version

I am the same age as you OP and I think our grandparent's generation had a "look" of twin set and pearls and going for a blue rinse and set at the hairdressers.

I absolutely think you can wear what the fuck you like (that was for KaptainKaveman) I still wear bikinis on holiday, I am not there to be seen by other people, I am not a decoration.

We can also swear, who is swearing reserved for? Navvys? Lower class? Men only?

You are right. These rules are outdated.

We may have our own rules that we're subconsciously choosing to obey or ignore but obeying rules from 50 odd years ago is obviously ridiculous!

I had to say this to my mum when she was telling me to get my hair cut. I said to her ''if I were trying to please anybody else, it wouldn't be a group of women pushing 80''. I admitted to not being averse to seeking some mild validation from women my own age and YOUNGER ????

But getting dressing in the morning and thinking ''would my mum and her friends like this?''. NOPE.

I think she gets it now. She hasn't mentioned me getting a nice ladies doooo for a while.

My hair is so frizzy anyway, she'd hate it if I got short hair, I know she would

At 46 you should know what you like to wear, do what you like, the haters are just jealous.

If you're putting effort into a look, you want others to appreciate it?
Nope, I just want to like what I look like in the mirror

@CeaseAndDesist
@PlanDeRaccordement but what does it matter how the OP 'really looks'? And what does that mean anyway?

How OP really looks, what it means. It means we cannot see how others view us. So feedback from a loving and honest source that what we are wearing doesn’t suit us or is actively keeping us from our desires can be valuable.
Examples, doesn’t suit- a colour or print or cut that makes us look unwell/sickly.
Keeping us from goals- telling a daughter complaining that no one takes her seriously as a professional that her dress style may be contributing to that impression. In this example, the daughter wears clothes for dance clubs to work.

Oh and fuck fuckety fuck, cunt, shit cunt

My mum used to tell me I was 'too old' for long hair when I hit 40. But for the last couple of years (I'm now 51) she's called it my 'crowning glory'. Maybe she's mellowed.

But at one time short hair would've been seen as odd. Most women had long hair and put it up.

Moral of the story: women really need to stop judging other women on what they wear/how long their hair is. Fashions change, and judgemental women's opinions will change with them, because they're not very bright.

@gingercat02

DM thinks "women of your age" shouldn't have ponytails. Im 51

Mine is the same! She's 76 I think. Has she not noticed that it's ok for 50 somethings to have longer hair now, or does she think we're ALL breaking the rule! I'd like to think I'd notice fashions changing and just get that ''oh, that used to be considered a bad choice but now it's considered normal'' when I get to that age. I really hope I'm not bugging my 50 year old daughter about her hair and clothes when I'm 82.

@KaptainKaveman take it you’re new on MN?

Op I ONLY wear dungarees and I am 55 😁. My mother hates the way I dress

He, he, love these threads. Some people are bonkers, with their ‘rules’ about dressing. Wear what the fk you like! Preferably if it suits you - and that’s your call to make. Enjoy your dungas!

Is it a generational thing? You must transition to m & s stretchy wear by 45

No it isn’t generational. I am 62, my mother is 89 and none of my friends nor hers subscribe to any pursed lipped rules about what other women should wear.

I voted YANBU but if you expect your Mum to be non judgemental maybe watch your own ageist assumptions.

I want some motherfucking dungarees now!

Your mum is NOT conservative if you get to 45 without these comments . My mum suggested I was too old for long hair and jeans and I’m not even 40!

was watching The Crown (late to the party) and I suddenly thought, when did older women stop wearing headscarfs

When it was fashionable and chic young women wore headscarves. And indeed twinsets. People often continue wearing fashions from their younger years. They don’t spontaneously develop ‘old people fashion’.