DH AIBU??

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

DH asked me to pass on this AIBU:

^AIBU?

Im sitting in a bed half naked. They are about to come collect me for a major operation. I will drip feed you details on request...^

He got taken in the day before last with abdominal pain and this morning it was confirmed that he'll be having emergency surgery today. No visitors allowed so I'm floating around the house with DTs.

Please give me funny, dry, witty or sarcastic responses to pass on, as he thinks AIBU is hilarious. I will drip feed on his behalf .

TIA

Eh?

What is the AIBU?

Well, I hope whatever op he's having goes ok.

Are you sure he's not on glue?

LTB

I don't get it?

He could be on glue. They should really offer that more in the hospital. I appreciate this probably reads like one of those 'I'm oh so strange and silly' posts. But he's just anxious, so he wanted the collective dry wit of MN to calm his nerves. We often laugh at the drip feeds and ridiculous posts on here. So he was hoping to achieve the same

The half naked and major operation sounds a bit James Bond without your DHs backstory. What's his 00 number and is the threat nuclear or biological?

That makes no sense and neither does the update.

Oh, so sorry, his 00 number is 002. He mentored bond. Sorry for the drip feed

Having the collective contempt of AIBU wreaked upon him could cause more damage than a condition requiring major surgery, in fairness.

(How is he going to 'drip feed us details on request'? Are you supposed to be relaying his bon mots from the operating theatre by psychic link, or something?)

No, it still doesn't make sense

Is it a sting operation?

which part of him is half naked ? his top or bottom part ?

I see. So he's been around a while. What was his favourite mission?

HIBU he should've planned his emergency hospital admission well in advance and made sure it was in the calendar.

Why hasn't he taken the DT with him? He's not doing anything apart from lying in bed

He should be fasting if having a major op so no drip feeding allowed I’m afraid.

Exactly, he really should have at least one of the twins with him!

@Plesky

Having the collective contempt of AIBU wreaked upon him could cause more damage than a condition requiring major surgery, in fairness.

(How is he going to 'drip feed us details on request'? Are you supposed to be relaying his bon mots from the operating theatre by psychic link, or something?)

I know just enough information to provide a nice slow and steady drip feed, for maximum entertainment.

He's not on deaths door AFAIK. I'm not taking the piss or messing around, just genuinely want some funny, random, sarcastic responses to pass on to DH while he waits for his surgery. I'm feeling anxious too, and I can spar with the best sarcastic responses, so lay it on me.

I wouldn't worry too much. Most likely Blofeld has manufactured COVID, your husband has contracted it on the tip of an umbrella - and I know you told him to wash his hands after that downpour so definitely LTB for that. But no need to panic as 002 needs to pull through as the series is scheduled to run until 2091.
However, keep your eye on those Bond girl nurses. If he's lively enough for Mumsnet, who knows what he could be getting up to under the covers. If he tells you they've prescribed shaken not stirred, it's not his medicine bottle he's talking about.

Also, is this a stealth boast about the fact that he gets to lay about all day? Some of us have to work you know! Lazy!

😂😂

I did ask him to take DTs but the lazy bugger said no 'because he has a tummy ache'

My ds 18 had his appendix out last year. He had been in pain for days but being 18 and a real man now he refused to ring 111.. When the hospital told him it was at bursting point he blamed me for not taking him to the GP!!
He had us mopping his brow and hand feeding him ice lollies as he was too hot on his ward.

Be gald you aren't there op!!
Truly wanted to shove a pillow over his head!!

Just direct him to classics?

@Sunnydaysstillhere I have no doubt in my mind that my future is filled with bringing him iced drinks on a tray and food made just the way he likes it. They know how to get sympathy, men, don't they!

I remember when ds was two and I was a sahm. I had a dream about being admitted to hospital for surgery, nothing life threatening or too painful but did require a 2 night stay and someone bringing me meals and bedrest.

He's living the dream