DH AIBU??

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

DH asked me to pass on this AIBU:

^AIBU?

Im sitting in a bed half naked. They are about to come collect me for a major operation. I will drip feed you details on request...^

He got taken in the day before last with abdominal pain and this morning it was confirmed that he'll be having emergency surgery today. No visitors allowed so I'm floating around the house with DTs.

Please give me funny, dry, witty or sarcastic responses to pass on, as he thinks AIBU is hilarious. I will drip feed on his behalf .

TIA

Has he packed the Dressing Gown of Doom and practiced the Shuffle?

He hasn't told me which part is naked, so I can only assume it's his lower half, the slime ball! I have asked him next time to plan these emergency surgeries around my commitments but for some reason he got upset.

Emergency surgery for abdominal pain. I think he's full of shit.

Surely it is an AMA, not an AIBU?

My ds started his army training 5 weeks later. He spent a week living in a camp on exercise.. Those nights sleeping under nurses guard and hospital food had him well prepared!!

@unimaginativeusernamehere mine are two, and I have the same dream

He's been practicing the shuffle for as long as I've known him. He didn't pack a dressing gown, perhaps that's why he's naked. Should I make him one out of carrier bags?

@WetdreamBeliever

Emergency surgery for abdominal pain. I think he's full of shit.

Not for long! 😂😂

I think he'd be very U to start an AMA! He's not Gordon brown!

Anaesthetics can cause powerful involuntary erections. He could have the surgeon's eye out if he's not careful.

@WetdreamBeliever very generous assumption, he'll be pleased . I did just realised that his MN name is technically Mr. Sucking. Hmm 🤔

sounds lazy to me

anything to get off houswork eh!

LTB! How dare he leave you at home for 2 nights while he takes a break! Tell him to take some paracetamol and use a water bottle to help with the pain, and just get on with it! Selfish bastard!

Another for MN classics

You should LTB, he is massively controlling if he makes you start a thread to entertain him. Time to get your ducks in a row.

For tonight I recommend the mumsnet cuicken for dinner. That way you have enough leftovers to not cook for a week while you visit him in hospital and mrs. Hinch the home.

I know, right?! He should try giving birth to twins! I was back up on my feet and cooking after 30 mins*

*details may not be entirely accurate

YY to the MN chicken. Should I be taking in some ironing to pay for a private recovery room?

Ask him how old he thinks I look. Homeschooling did take it out of me a bit but I'd like to see any of you cope with my son.

@JobstOfMoravia okay that's given me the biggest laugh so far 😂😂. I guess 42, your haircut is ageing you hun x

[quote SuckingDownDarjeeling]@JobstOfMoravia okay that's given me the biggest laugh so far 😂😂. I guess 42, your haircut is ageing you hun x[/quote]
Well I'm glad you appreciate me. Maybe you could leave the motel a review? We're getting a slating on TripAdvisor.

He is out of surgery! They're not having much luck waking him up. Lazy sod

That's great news, OP. Glad we could all help. Speedy recovery to him.

Glad he is out, take a deep breath now and relax