Ignoring calls from nursery

[Fredup12]

My little boy has a cold (definitely a cold, not covid). I think he might be too poorly to go to nursery tomorrow because he’s still a bit chesty and has a runny nose. Both DH and I should be working from home tomorrow. DH says give calpol in the morning and then ignore any calls from nursery so we can get on with our work. He says if I answer nursery’s call and they say to collect him, then I have to look after him all day because he will be busy with work (even though I have work to do too). I don’t think its ok to take him in, and if we did we can’t ignore nursery’s calls. And I think we need to share the childcare between us. AIBU?

It’s fine that he wants to send your son into nursery with a cold, I really don’t see why that is worthy of criticism. Clearly, if nursery calls then you have to answer, he’s a twat for even beginning to think otherwise because the nursery could be calling about anything, but he’s not wrong for thinking he should be able to expect nursery to take care of a child with a simple cold.

Your husband is disgusting, x a million.

I wouldn't want to be with a man like this.

Classic, "your kid, your decision, your problem". Placing his work above yours, and worse, above his child.

Vile.

If this isn't a one off, LTB.

But I do agree with PP, he should be able to go in with a cold, even more so following a negative test. But don't send him if he's not well enough, poor boy. My comments above are entirely based on your husband's attitude, not the cold/nursery issue.

Wow if my husband had said that and blatantly cared so little about the well being of our son, and didn’t acknowledge that my work was as important as his is, well I would be leaving the bastard. Luckily my husband would NEVER say that - surely you and your child deserve better OP?

Your husband is effectively telling you he sees his career as more important than yours.

I'd not be ok with this.

He'd be out on his arse.

Ask what's cheaper. 50% of the assets, pension and house or a half day to share car with you for his son.

Cunt.

So he wants to send him in to pass on his cold to other kids who will then need to be put through being tested? And their parents through the rigmarole and stress of actually getting a test locally or at home?

He's a dickhead and I hope you send him a link to this thread.

Covid aside its really shitty to sent them to nursery and make other kids ill. Hes a selfish twat.

Poor child.

Get rid of this awful fucking man. Absolutely disgusting.

@AGoatAteIt

Your husband is a cunt.

☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼 Perfectly said

Totally disgraceful behaviour for a parent. Him. Do NOT ignore Nursery calls. I mean seriously?? Gobsh#te. Him not you

Ignore the calls? Is he serious?? What terrible parenting.

What if it was an emergency? What if he was really sick and needed his parents? It’s also really irresponsible, unfair on the nursery and unfair on the other children.

Your DH sounds frankly unfit to be a father.

Say you'll look after him tomorrow when you eventually answer the call.
And he can do the rest of the week after they refuse to have him back because of breaching their policies.

Tell them to call his mobile from a withheld number if there’s a problem. If I send mine when he’s borderline I tell them which parent is more easily available.

I'm not sure it's as simple as some of you suggest. In normal times having a child off nursery would often require one parent to take annual or unpaid leave while the other parent works normally if both were meant to be working. Now that childcare is open and following several months of disrupted work I really don't think it would be unreasonable for employers to start pushing back on those trying to juggle childcare and working from home and began to enforce their usual policies and therefore it may well be that the OPs DH has the choice of unpaid leave for the day to look after the child or working a full day whereas the OP is in the position to take the day off without losing pay.

@blindmansbluff

What a fucking dick he is.

^ This

Your husband is a selfish twat. That would be a deal breaker for me.

I’m guessing this isn’t the first thing he’s done or said that’s made you consider his priorities. He doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to raise a child with. Does he understand the implications of ignoring the phone?

I'm a nursery practitioner. If we can't get hold of parents we call the emergency contacts. If they aren't contactable we call social services who will collect your child and place them in emergency foster care until the parents can be reached.

Please tell your husband to grow up and take responsibility for his child. Also tell him to have a little respect for the workers caring for your child while he works and the other children and their families. If your sick child infects the other children, then many, many other parents lose days at work, lose pay and end up sick.

Ahh poor boy. Would you normally send him in feeling like he is. Their are so many colds and coughs around now. Can you just answer the phone and leave your husband out of it allot would be have to collect him? My sons primary schools now asking us to keep the children at home even if they don't have a temperature, a runny nose, scratchy throat etc, and monitor for 48 hours incase symptoms turn into covid symptoms

Huhhhh????!!!

Really. I mean, seriously!!!!!

I understand its frustrating, but imagine your child sick and miserable just expected to deal with it, because that's what happens.

I'd leave someone for this. I couldn't be with someone who refused to take responsibility for their child.

If you ignore the may contact social services

@Fredup12

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your comments. I think I knew I wasn’t be unreasonable but I just seem to have lost all confidence in my own opinions.

Do you have any insight into why you’ve lost confidence in your opinions? I’m wondering if Alicia is right.