If you have no parental help, how do you cope with children?

[afternoonitsraining]

Husband and I are thinking about TTC, but we are both careful people and want to work out finances and things before trying.

Everyone we know seems to rely on their parents for childcare help, and help to buy baby things. We would have none of that due to various issues, we would have to do everything ourselves.

I know it may seem as if counting chickens before they've hatched - maybe we can't conceive anyway. But Childcare is around £60 a day in our area and with no parental help, I just wondered how people who don't earn mega salaries manage with childcare. We wouldn't get universal credit or anything, just child benefit and I would not want to give up working.

We earn above average. We also waited til early 30s to have children and saved so had extra cash to see us through the tough childcare bill years. Also:

• I dropped to 4 days
• I work one day from home to save 2 hrs childcare cost
• we use a childminder (cheaper & hourly rate better than a daily one covering a longer period than we need)
• we flexed hours so i go in early and leave early, DH in late/leave late, to reduce hours at the CM.
• used childcare vouchers
• dont forget 15h funding from age 3 (or 30h for many people depending on income).

I gave up work then trained on the job working in a term time only nursery school. Not brilliant money but very rewarding and fitted in with the children so no childcare costs.
After 12 years I then changed back to normal work, it worked out well for us.

We are a bit unusual in that DH is the more flexible one

Him: company director, wfh full time. Can swap hours accordingly BUT does need to do enough hours to keep things going

Me: Doctor in training programme. Work on average 40hrs pw but this can be 60 one week and 20 the next. Shifts including nights and weekends

We have one child who is 4 and at independent school. We pay fees, breakfast club and after school club 2 x days per week. This gives DH enough time to get work done. We manage to cover school holidays between us.

How we manage? His flexible job, we are both high rate tax payers. We live in the north where school fees are more affordable.

We used a childminder age 8months to 3. The nursery with free hours. Childcare is expensive, but a bill i see like anything else.