To ask (lightheartedly) what’s the most bizarre or confusing “because of Covid” you’ve heard?

[Rainbowb]

My next door neighbour has had someone else walk her dog for her since lockdown “because of covid”. Never goes further than her garden. Such a shame because daily walks have never been banned and I’m sure the change of scene would benefit her and her dog would love her to take him!

Just wondered if anyone else has come across bizarre things being done or not done “because of covid?”.

Disclaimer - this is a light hearted thread just to help see the funny side a bit for my own sanity. It’s not meant to be dismissive of people’s genuine experiences or fears.

I booked an optician's appointment over the phone 9 weeks in advance. When I booked I had to answer questions as to whether I had Covid19 symptoms or not. He went through a whole list: Do you have a cough? Do you have a temperature? Have you lost your sense of smell or taste? I answered no to all of them and he noted the answers down. Afterwards I said why did you ask me all those questions? He said "We have to because of Covid" I said but in 9 week's time those answers are irrelevant - things could change tomorrow. He said "Oh, well, it's just because of Covid".

All the fucking one way systems "because of Covid" can go.

I've been to the library twice and not only was there a four person greeting ceremony as I entered to sanitise my hands, and fill in a track and trace form, I was then expected to navigate the one way maze round the stacks whilst browsing. If anything, it just takes you even longer to do what you need to do. I'm pleased that most supermarkets have dropped it now.

@Mammyloveswine

My nursery pupils are not allowed to sit next to each other in the lunch hall but are allowed to sit next to each other on the carpet for story time...

They can go to the beach and play in the sand but not in the sand tray in my classroom.

They can read books from the book area but reading books have to be quarantined for 72 hours..

It's ridiculous!

Lots of handwashing, catching sneezes and coughs in tissues...that's all can be realistically expected in a room of 33 3 year olds!

Who came up with this insanity? The head? Or is this across all nurseries

Btw my reception age child has bought home a different reading book every day for the last week or so. If it’s getting quarantined for 72 hours every time it is returned just now many books has the school bought??

@Monkeytapper

Couldn’t sing Happy birthday at TGI fridays for my sons birthday because of COVID, said too many people with their mouths open at once so would spread germs.

Tbf I think this one is genuine. Places of worship aren't allowed any singing, and restaurants are supposed to not play background music too loudly so people don't have to shout to be heard, because scientists have said singing or shouting is a higher risk of spreading it.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

DH has to, in turn with other Officers, supervise mealtimes for soldiers in the cookhouse. Apparently they were getting to close to each other.... This is people they share rooms with for sleeping in, shooting with, and other training. They are only allowed to sit diagonally from each other at mealtimes though....

This is as daft as the thr pp nursery school one!

Very early on I think before lockdown my sister couldn't get through to her GP surgery. So she popped in and they just had a sign on the desk saying closed due to covid pressures. Wtf? This was nowhere near the peak of strain on the NHS and obviously a GP practice is different from the strain on hospitals. But just shocking they would abandon their patients like that. As far as I know they opened up several weeks later. Don't know if they just panicked?

It all seems a bit random doesn't it?

I think alot of it is psychological need to feel / be seen that "something is being done" because of the levels of fear not just of the virus itself but because of the pile on and possible legal consequences of not doing so.

Everything seems contradictory at the moment - it's not that bad / it's potentially fatal with long term consequences - seems to be at the root of it all.

Most people are bimbling along in the middle trying to "do the right thing / not get reported / prosecuted" and then you have the headless chickens on both ends, one of which is "it's a mind control conspiracy" and the other is "report everyone for breathing they are potential murderers", and it's a crap shoot as to which camp anyone you come into contact with will be in. Right now I think the biggest threat in the world is collective nervous breakdown tbh..... no going out with a bang any more, it'll be whimpering behind your mask......

A group of 6 people allowed to meet up from 6 different households but 8 people that live together cannot go out together....because of covid ...

But 8 people who live together in one household (or who are one support bubble) are allowed to go out together, it's a specific exception to the rule of 6.

I'm in introvert and my sister obviously knows this as my second cousin told her she was going to randomly come round to mine for a cup of tea and a chat and my sister told her I wouldn't like that as I've not let anyone in my house since March because of Covid 😂😂 I was so thankful I hate surprise visits. My sister told me this while sat in my kitchen 😂

I live in an apartment block with lifts.

One of the residents' association sent round a message telling everyone that she expected everyone to 'hold their breath while using the lifts' because covid.

I felt a bit sorry for the people who live on the 21st floor, that's some Olympic level breath-holding.

Had my mother on the phone a few weeks ago in a complete panic as her computer warned her it may have a 'virus'. No mother you dont need to ring your GP. Probably should have let her for the laugh

Ds has to take his own float to swimming as they cannot share floats because of covid. They are, however, allowed to share swim woggles, toys you swim to get and the ones you dive under for. Presumably the virus knows the difference?

@Plussizejumpsuit

Very early on I think before lockdown my sister couldn't get through to her GP surgery. So she popped in and they just had a sign on the desk saying closed due to covid pressures. Wtf? This was nowhere near the peak of strain on the NHS and obviously a GP practice is different from the strain on hospitals. But just shocking they would abandon their patients like that. As far as I know they opened up several weeks later. Don't know if they just panicked?

It may be like my GP surgery - they have 5 branches in the town. Two of them (including the one by me) are quite small (normally only open half days anyway), they have shut the two small ones and ask you to go to the big branches if you need face to face (most is done by phone though)

However you can't book in advance which is a bit of a pain you ring up in the morning

The 'training pool' (10m, 1m deep) is not open. Instead the beginner lessons are in a roped off part of the main pool. Which is smaller...

@itsgettingweird

My mum pointed out yesterday that an elbow bump "because of Covid" still made skin to skin contact and actually put you closer to someone droplets wise than a handshake which is at least 1m distance and you can wash or gel hands after!

The reason for the elbow bump is that you can’t then touch your face with your elbow.

@Kungfupanda67

I ordered a dominos last night and couldn’t order a half and half because of Covid - as though the mixing of my Hawaiian left half and Texas bbq right half might spontaneously generate coronavirus

That's the daftest one I've heard so far

@NastyBlouse

I live in an apartment block with lifts.

One of the residents' association sent round a message telling everyone that she expected everyone to 'hold their breath while using the lifts' because covid.

I felt a bit sorry for the people who live on the 21st floor, that's some Olympic level breath-holding.

😂😂😂

Most confusing/inconsistent situation was visiting a small stately home place this summer. It was possible to go around the whole thing without touching anything, and a good one way system in place.

Yet for the contract tracing, they handed every visitor the same pen to write down their name and number (we declined, and used our own...) The irony that the conduit for spreading any infection present, could have been from their own measures to take contact info.

Wearing masks in the corridor in schools, but not in the classroom, when sharing stale air with 30 other people. Year groups kept separate in schools, but kids mixing and squashing into the school bus. 🤷🏼‍♀️

We noticed lots of places in town were closed early too because of Covid. Not sure how a couple of hours off the opening times helps if the same number of customers come in, but in a shorter time span.

Staffing issues. Makes sense.

One lane has been blocked off on a busy route into a local shopping centre to maintain social distancing. How easy is it to catch Covid from someone driving past in an enclosed car?

It is to allow for people on the pavement to social distance, nothing to do with the cars.

Edinburgh council has decided to widen footpaths for social distancing by getting rid of car parking spaces on shopping streets

Yep so people who need disabled parking now can’t go in to town unless they take the bus/tram as all the spaces taken are the disabled ones.

I was in the park with the dog one day. A couple were playing with a frisbee, but wouldn't let a nearby child pick the frisbee up "because of coronavirus."

I can see the frisbee thing plus a child shouldn’t be lifting a dogs toy.

Local small building company only working 8.30 until 13.00 because of Covid! Had to wait weeks and weeks to get a minor job done.

Went to an outdoor shopping outlet centre(Scotland). We had to wear masks all the time even outdoors.