To make DS clear up the kitchen...

[WashUpFFS]

...while his friend is here?

He was asked to clear up from lunch (which was made by me). He "didn't have time" to clear up afterwards as he was dashing out to meet a friend. He's now back, with the friend, and I'm insisting that he does it now. I'm working (from home). He's treating my insistence as thoroughly unreasonable as his mate's here. I'm fed up and have shouted at him (when he complained).

He's 14.

Tell me IANBU?

@IWantToBeMelissaWhenIGrowUp sorry I didn't mean that only mothers should be teaching boys to be responsible, or girls either.

It was my personal experience that I came from and was a single mother to a son, with no input from his father (Thank God)

My now 42 year old son does as much childcare and housework as DDIL. He would be in trouble from me as much as DDIL if he didn't.

A few years ago DDIL had to go abroad for a month, leaving 13m DGD with DS. The amount of her friends who thought he would bring her to me to look after shook me. He is her parent he was just as capable as her Mum.

@Florencex that sounds so unfair that you tidy up either way!

YANBU. I am not advocating this, but my mum used to lock the door and u couldn't physically get out of the house until I did what I had to do.

I don't understand why DS had to go pick up his friend; did he not have a smartphone with maps on it?

When I was his age, the difference between leaving right now and in five minutes was missing a bus that only game twice an hour and obviously back in the 90s no mobiles to contact friends! I might have used similar delaying tactics as OP’s son . If there’s a bit of that going on I’d say the compromise of waiting till he got home was ok.

You made the mess, you both ate it, he cleans up the mess.

Seems fair to me. For mum to make the food and clean the mess seems rather like a maid service we hi h should t be encouraged

Thank you all for the input and encouragement.

I wanted to update you. So today, DS spontaneously did the hoovering he'd failed to do two days ago. All of it, without me asking. He's also been very pleasant, appreciative and happy. The same friend has now come round to visit (post-hoovering).

It seems that despite my reservations, yesterday had a big positive effect. Hurrah!