Colleague is pregnant

[afternoonitsraining]

My colleague and friend has just announced her pregnancy to the office. I am genuinely pleased for her.

But the problem for me is, it will mean I will be expected to pick up her work (small company and they have done this before when women on maternity. Again, not a huge issue except for my husband and I were thinking about TTC. I know it can takes a while but if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her, plus be pissed at the timing!

We could wait a bit but i am nearly 30 and we both have possible fertility issues (dr said we won't know if the issues will affect fertility until we try basically.) any advice, AIBU to worry about work and what they would think?

It doesn't matter what they think, they can't legally discriminate against you for being pregnant

Go for it, you can’t put a decision like that on hold just because a colleague got there first. As you say, it could take a while to conceive too. So crack on if you want to!
During my maternity leave I’m one of 4 women off. No bother, work has been distributed properly, temp hires have come in. It’s not your problem if your office don’t cover maternity leave properly!

Crack on. It's really not your problem it's there's.

Please don’t even think about this other person. It’s not your problem that she’s pregnant. You have to do what’s right for you and in your plan always.

if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her

I'm not convinced by this.

if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her

I really don’t think they’re going to think that you’re copying her! It’s not a new pair of shoes.

Your bosses will not think you copied her. No one is surprised when a married woman approaching 30 becomes pregnant.

Copied her?
What are you guys 8?

know it can takes a while but if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her,
Your not serious?
And also people don't think that someone gets pregnant to copy someone .
Also the worried about work situation you are overthinking things .thats for your boss to worry about .
It's possible I know a couple of people going on maternity leave who their employer hasn't got cover due to circumstances at the moment.
I actually think your a little jealous and would you want your colleagues thinking this about you when you get pregnant?

I wouldn’t wait if I were you. I don’t think they’d think you’d copied her! Having a baby is a pretty big decision and not one you make on a whim because a colleague did it!
Crack on and good luck. I hope it happens quickly for you and that your employer is supportive.

My colleague and I announced within a week of each other and basically did the same job. We were terrified but once you’ve told them it’s totally fine, they just have to deal with it.
Good luck TTC xx

They won’t think you copied her. It’s not like getting pregnant in your thirties is a really niche or unusual thing - if they aren’t actively expecting it, it certainly won’t come as a surprise.

Copied her? Who would TTC to copy someone?

I think you need to just be happy for her and see what happens.

Just go ahead as you wish. The worst observation will be "there must be something in the water!" Said as though they are the first person on the planet to crack this (can't even call it a joke, it's too lame) sentence.

Copy her? Are you 12?

You can’t ‘copy’ somebody having a baby, babies are conceived by their thousands daily. Don’t worry about anybody else apart from yourself.

Well not 'copy' as such, but in the past, there have been comments when 2 women have been pregnant a few months apart - along the lines of 'Barbara's pregnancy must have made Kate feel broody'

'Copied her'. That's ridiculous.

Just do what you were planning on doing, this makes no difference to you. Do you think your employer would consider you when making their own (personal) life decisions?

@OverTheRainbow88

Copied her? What are you guys 8?

Exactly.

Everyone knows that the way colleagues become pregnant at the same time is by sitting on the Office Chair of Doom.

Do NOT wait due to the fact your colleague is pregnant. No way. Do what you want.

no one will think you copied her

If she's just announced it presumably she's twelve weeks at least. Even if you are successful in the next few days she'll be almost 3 months ahead of you. The bosses have time to get sorted for this.

It sounds to me like you work for the kind of company where they expect you to carry the mental burden too. Don't, it's not your problem. Just do what you always planned. You and your colleague might have babies close together which might turn out to be lovely for them growing up. The company is not your problem.

I will go slightly against the grain here ( support the manager!!!) and say that waiting a few months is unlikely to make a huge difference to your fertility but may mean she is a bit closer to coming back to work when you go off on maternity leave. Small teams of people carrying more than one maternity leave at a time can be an absolute nightmare to manage and unavoidably puts lots of extra pressure on remaining staff.

You would seriously delay ttc because of what your boss MIGHT think!? Just do it! You don’t owe them shit

I don’t mean to be facetious, but I’m slightly confused as to why your colleague being pregnant might affect your plans to conceive.
No one is going to think you’ve copied anyone. Plenty of women of child bearing age have babies.