Colleague is pregnant

[afternoonitsraining]

My colleague and friend has just announced her pregnancy to the office. I am genuinely pleased for her.

But the problem for me is, it will mean I will be expected to pick up her work (small company and they have done this before when women on maternity. Again, not a huge issue except for my husband and I were thinking about TTC. I know it can takes a while but if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her, plus be pissed at the timing!

We could wait a bit but i am nearly 30 and we both have possible fertility issues (dr said we won't know if the issues will affect fertility until we try basically.) any advice, AIBU to worry about work and what they would think?

If you think like that now, there will be one reason or another in the future, e.g. we can't do it now, we're planning a holiday, or someone in the family's not well, or there's a post covid recession....go for it, especially if you have fertility issues and are now in your 30s.

Good luck x

Why on earth would they think you've copied her? That would be a bizarre thing to think!

Op just go for it. What if she has an unplanned pregnancy straight after this one and comes off mat leave anyway pregnant?
Or you start trying when she's back off leave in 18 months, it takes a while and she has another one? You gonna stop?

You can't hold off having a baby because people might think you followed her or its catching

Copied her? Seriously? Sure you’re 30 OP?!
Honestly live your life- good luck conceiving

If there aren't enough people to do the work that's a management issue.

You will not care for very long what people in the office think!
If you're married and 30 ish, I don't think people will think that you were totally unaware of the really novel idea to ...........start a family!

Ps I wouldn't worry too much about work not liking the timing.

I started a new job when I was TTC. I'd been suffering fertility issues for a couple of years by that point, including miscarriages and I did want to put my life on hold by not changing jobs etc... Whilst we waited.

Unfortunately (or fortunately more like), I had a successful pregnancy not long after I started.

It's just the way life goes sometimes. Employers should know that.

if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her Sorry but I find this a really immature thing to say!

Copied her!! Haha!

The reality is that as a female of child bearing age you're always under suspicion of being pregnant. So just go ahead and do it.

I remember years ago no one would sit in the receptionist’s chair, even to cover breaks, as every woman seemingly became pregnant.

I wouldn’t wait. One of our managers went on maternity leave, and the week before she returned added a postscript to an email outlining her return to work ‘Oh, we’re pregnant again’ You’d be peeved if you waited, only for her to become pregnant swiftly again.

Get busy, enjoy the fun in the bedroom and good luck in conceiving - hope you’re celebrating soon

Please don't delay having kids if that's what you want.

Not your problem - don't let work influence when you decide to start a family.

When it gets towards maternity leave, hopefully they will realise that this time they will have to cover her, if only so you can get the new person trained up by the time your maternity leave starts.

I can understand the way you feel, OP.

When was pregnant while working for the public sector, I felt wrapped in cotton wool throughout the whole process. I had time off for different issues, everyone was supportive. I was really looked after and if another member of our team had been pregnant at the same time then so be it.

I now work for a private company, no union and limited staff! If one person goes off sick it has a huge impact. Therefore, in your position I’d feel exactly the same but, you have rights and shouldn’t let your future be dictated by your employer. Trying to conceive might happen overnight but it might also take months, so just go for it and good luck

Get on with the baby making! Dont wait! Your boss will have to deal with it.

@awsomer

if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her

I really don’t think they’re going to think that you’re copying her! It’s not a new pair of shoes.

Exactly. It's quite a normal thing that happens...

You are over thinking this.
Do what's right for you!

I’m surprised someone hasn’t come along to lecture us all that companies come first and how dare you try to get pregnant.

Deffo don’t wait!! You owe your boss nothing. It’s business. If you’re both out of work they might pull there finger out and employ someone else who is obviously needed

Copying her? No, they won't think that. Women fall pregnant every day. You will just be one more. It certainly isn't something you need to consider when you are trying to conceive. Also I wouldn't hold off at all at 30. You have no idea if you will fall easily or not.

Why will anyone think you are copying someone else by becoming pregnant? It figures that you would be pregnant sooner or later; you're married, the right age, etc. Go for it and good luck.

Once you get prefabs the and have a baby you will not give two shiny shots about the opinions of your work in this way. Your job will just become a way to support your dc. You are unlikely to be in this particular job in five years time. Do not worry about their opinion now.

You realise bonkers this is surely?

if I do become pregnant the bosses will think I've copied her

You may need to mature about before TTC

Don’t hold off due to that. If you do get pregnant soon your employer has more than enough time to figure out employing and training someone else. I was nearly 40, and still managed to work up to about 2 weeks before my due date.

Doesn't sound like a very nice place to work if they don't provide adequate maternity cover and would be "super pissed" because you love a life outside work