To call the nursery

[mylittlesandwich]

DS is 9 months and has been going to nursery 2 days a week for about a month now. They have a parent cam which you can use to have a wee look and see how they're doing. I try not to spend too much time on it because they seemed nice and I trusted them. DH dropped him off this morning because I started work early so I signed in to have a wee look. He's been sat on his own for half an hour.
There's somewhere between 10 and 15 children with 4 adults. The adults are all surrounded by small groups of children doing various activities. DS is on his own, sat on the floor with no toys. He's playing with the zip on his hoodie. The only interaction he's had in the 30 mins I've watched is when someone took a plastic apron away from him that he'd got a hold of. He's not mobile yet so he can't go and get anything for himself. I'm really upset watching it. Is this normal for nursery or should I give them a call, I don't want to be difficult but I also want DS to enjoy his time at nursery.

@Monkeynuts18 you only have access in days that your child is at nursery so for me that's Thursday and Friday. They have written permission from all parents and the camera system has terms and conditions around storing and sharing images.

Yeah I find that odd about the parent cam too, never heard of anywhere doing that before. My nursery upload a few pictures each day to the app, but they never include other children (well sometimes there's someone's hand or the back of their head).

Gdpr doesn't cover pictures so it would not be a problem from that point of view.
I imagine all the parents give permission as they want to see their own child is ok. These are tiny children, too young to tell anyone if they are not being looked after. It's got to be safer if parents can check on them.

@SnackSizeRaisin yes but one stupid parent passes their log in details on to someone else and they end up in the wrong hands and that person can view camera footage of lots of children including your's? I'd be very uneasy with it.

At least if they're just giving you pictures of your own child, and you're stupid enough to be careless with your log in details you're only putting your own child at risk, not lots of other children.

I'm sure they're doing things by the book, but I feel very uneasy with people I don't know having access to unlimited camera footage of my child.

@SnackSizeRaisin

GDPR covers pictures and videos (it’s a common misconception that it doesn’t). They are personal data if a person’s identifiable.

I imagine the nursery get round it by making it a condition of service. Even then I think it’s problematic.

I wouldn’t be happy with it personally. I trust the people who look after my child (much more than I would trust other parents with their log-in details actually). If I thought I needed a camera to check on my child’s nursery workers, I wouldn’t be leaving my child with them.

But we all have to take a personal decision about what we’re ok with.

@ShineOnYouCrazyDiamond88

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I don't think it's that big a deal. It would be different if he was being ignored all day or was distressed and they were ignoring him. If the nursery is generally good and this is a one off then it could have simply been an oversight, it happens. You called, they fixed the problem, all is good. I also don't think it's necessary for kids to be "stimulated" with toys and activities every minute of the day. Some down time to just be, and to play with everyday objects is good for them. At 9 months old a zip would be fascinating to him.

I agree with you, my DS definitely needed time at that age to just sit and watch the action. Constant stimulation isn't always necessary or desirable.

I personally like the video system, it's fairly poor quality, I can only pick DS out because I know what he's wearing. To be honest if they change him the only way I know who he is is because he can't walk or crawl. I don't feel I need to use it to check on him but I like to be able to reassure myself that he's doing well without having to bother the staff. I expect that as I get comfortable with them and his routine I'll look in on him less and less.

Always follow your gut with your children . I’m a child minder but have worked in nurseries too . I would always ask questions if I felt my little I felt my little ones needs weren’t being met your paying them to provide a service .

Omg this is awful, I have a 10month old and I would be distraught seeing this. I think you you should tell them. But to be honest I would’ve gone nuts. I hope your ok xx

I do feel for you. I think you did the right thing calling. I suspect they will make an extra effort to check he is okay and may even over-compensate for the incident. I understand how you feel and they were wrong to leave him for so long but don't worry- he wasn't distressed. X

I'm so sorry, OP. That's not right at all. Sometimes the easy going kids are too easy to ignore. It's good that you called - they will be more careful now. And keep checking on him so he gets the best care possible!

Having said that, my second son would have been happy playing with his zip for half an hour. There is lots to learn from a zip. Maybe he has the gift of a long attention span!

They may have left him because he was quiet and happy. I know it would be upsetting to see him alone.
Some children (mine) are hard work. Need cuddling etc, crying, wailing.. lots of tears -not good.
Obviously he shouldn’t be left too long, to amuse himself, but he found that zip and he was super chilled, that’s a good thing.
Keep an eye- you did the right thing and now they know your watching

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult really?! .... facepalm

Good for you for voicing your concerns, hopefully this will rectify things and you can continue to keep an eye out.

My son went to a childminder for three sessions. Apparently he cried all the time. Found out she’d put a toy in front of him and leave him to it and then he’d cry because he was bored and wanted something else. He was 9 months old, couldn’t crawl or ‘ask’ for anything else. Took him somewhere else where he was really happy. It’s not on to just to leave him to his own devices

You know, you are your son's voice. He can't speak for himself. So never ever feel bad for voicing your concerns. You would feel much worse had you not mentioned anything at all.

Just trust your gut feelings. You’re his Mum and if you have any doubts or bad vibes...trust them. Is he happy every day that you drop him off and pick him up?
Make the nursery aware of any concerns that you may have and monitor the situation to make sure you’re confident that he’s getting the care he deserves. X

Would also like to add that sometimes some children prefer to be left alone doing their own thing...it’s a difficult time and age at nursery as most children at this young age are un-diagnosed and often parents and carers are unaware of any special needs (which may become more apparent as they get older). If your child is happier doing his own thing, that’s fine too.