To call the nursery

[mylittlesandwich]

DS is 9 months and has been going to nursery 2 days a week for about a month now. They have a parent cam which you can use to have a wee look and see how they're doing. I try not to spend too much time on it because they seemed nice and I trusted them. DH dropped him off this morning because I started work early so I signed in to have a wee look. He's been sat on his own for half an hour.
There's somewhere between 10 and 15 children with 4 adults. The adults are all surrounded by small groups of children doing various activities. DS is on his own, sat on the floor with no toys. He's playing with the zip on his hoodie. The only interaction he's had in the 30 mins I've watched is when someone took a plastic apron away from him that he'd got a hold of. He's not mobile yet so he can't go and get anything for himself. I'm really upset watching it. Is this normal for nursery or should I give them a call, I don't want to be difficult but I also want DS to enjoy his time at nursery.

@Tempusfudgeit really 🤔well I don't know what you would make of me then .My eldest was 3mths old when I went back to work, we had a mortgage and when he was born 24 yrs ago there was barely any mat pay. But guess what he is a happy , well rounded 24yr old with a degree and a trainee manager in retail. So your comment is ridiculous.
Any way op that isn't good enough, like someone else suggested is there any good childminders, I live in a small village too so I get how it is .Never though feel like you are bothering anyone when it comes to your children when it comes to my children's happiness or wellbeing I have never held back you are their advocate.

I would definitely keep an eye on the situation, literally. I suspect they rarely get kids so immobile since maternity leave was extended to a year, by 9 months, most are crawling, one of mine was running. Nowadays because there aren't many babies (when mine were tiny maternity leave was only 6 months) nurseries mix in younger toddlers who demand attention.

Ps mine screamed the place down when they went to pt nursery at 2 (I wfh before that) your dc will be a lot more popular with the staff that my eldest was!

I've always found the baby rooms in nursery to be a little concerning - I have only viewed a handful of nurseries though. I ruled one out straightaway when I saw the nursery nurses all chatting to each other with the babies on the other side of the room. I am sure many are good but maybe you could consider a childminder if that is an option where you are?

@mylittlesandwich

I've just called. Asked how he was. They said he was fine, that he'd just done a footprint and was sitting in a bouncy chair. This is true as I was them move him just before I called. I said that I was concerned as he'd spent a lot of time on his own. That he was playing with his zipper because he couldn't reach any toys and that I was a bit upset. She said she was so sorry. But sounded surprised so she didn't seem to know. She said I was welcome to call back whenever I wanted. I'm going to keep watching. Sadly I live in a small town with only 2 options for nurseries for a child this age. The other didn't come recommended, this one did. If I have to pull him out I will. It was hard enough to leave him there as it was without him being ignored.

@mylittlesandwich You mention the possibility of finding a good Childminder? This will probably be the better option, he will get more one on one attention and as for him being an 'Only'...as long as you are able to meet other parents and babies {not easy with Covid} he will learn to get along with other babies around his age. You are right, children don't just need to be kept physically 'safe', they need emotional 'safety' too... to have substitute carers interact with them in a good, positive way.

We go to our local playground most days to blow of steam before pre school/nursery, there’s roughly a 18 month old there with a nanny. She pushing him in the swing for 45 min whilst texting on her phone the WHOLE TIME, she literally does not speak to him or even look up!!!

I love the nursery we chose for our boys. The workers there are fun, loving, attentive, kind, well nurtured and cook the most amazing meals. I also like the idea of back up, if one worker is having an off day, there’s 3 Others to step in.

My DD has been with her childminder since she was 12 months. She has such a great time there - the childminder has an assistant so has more than 3 kids. My DD is extremely sociable so being around a lot of kids is a good thing for her. We are looking at getting her into nursery at least part time soon as there is a limit to what the childminder can do. I've only found one nursery I've liked locally though and unsurprisingly, that is full.

One of mine is nearing the end of high school years and still claims the saddest day of their life was having to leave daycare (nursery equivalent). They just loved it.

It's nap time (which is so cute) DS is having a nap.
There are childminders but I wouldn't even know where to start with finding a good one any more than a nursery. This one has good reviews, I'm in Scotland so the ratings aren't the same. I'm going to keep an eye on things now. As a PP said the fact that they know I'm watching should make them more mindful.

In general they look to be good, lots of interaction with the children and when I pick him up the handover is good. I'm hoping it was an isolated incident but I will be checking more often.

I wouldn't panic if it's a one off and you're generally happy with the care
Staff in nurseries are under a lot of pressure - especially in a baby room where there's lots of physical care to perform, paperwork to do, cleaning, activities to get through and if the nursery has a policy of children needing to produce art work every day to take home (like the footprint) then sometimes easy children will amuse themselves for a bit. 15 babies is a lot to manage, even with 5 adults
If he was distressed and being ignored it would be a big issue, but he was safe and content while everyone was busy

I agree with this. You say your son was happily engaged in a concentrated task. Remember, your son does not make the distinction between toys and non-toys that you do. I remember mine generally preferred playing with real things than toys. Undoing and doing up his zipper is quite a concentrated task for a baby. He sounds like he was engrossed in this and doing it over and over again. I don't really see how this is any less of a valuable activity for him than playing with a toy, and quite likely provided more engagement than an actual toy. He was happy and occupied - he probably didnt' need a member of staff during this time.

Agree with @Hardbackwriter there’s a lot of projection on this thread!
OP, I would feel the same as you, I have an 8 month old dd and although she’s not in nursery yet she will be in a couple of months.
The nursery have taken your concerns on board and as a PP said, I doubt there are regular issues like this if they have a parent cam set up. Keep an eye and don’t ever feel like you can’t call.
There are good nurseries and not so good nurseries. Lumping them altogether as inappropriate for babies is daft and unhelpful.

It’s good that they’ve responded to your concern and if they have a parent cam they must be pretty confident that they provide good care or the place would be swamped by complaints. Well done on sorting it OP.

If you ever do decide to look for a childminder have a peek at their Facebook business pages, then arrange to meet with a few, I found the meetings really helpful when I was looking for a child minder for ds. Most of the ones I chatted with were lovely and gave me a really clear idea of what they did for the children, including working on milestones and getting them school ready.

We go to our local playground most days to blow of steam before pre school/nursery, there’s roughly a 18 month old there with a nanny. She pushing him in the swing for 45 min whilst texting on her phone the WHOLE TIME, she literally does not speak to him or even look up!!!

Yep, at our local softplay, for instance, I have seen both very good and totally inattentive bordering on negligent childcare from:
Childminders
Nannies
Parents
Grandparents

If I had to pick a group most likely to ignore the children they're looking after and seem cross at their existence it would be grandparents, by a long way.

If they have a cam I’m sure they get calls from parents! So yes, do call

YANBU. I am teacher and teach 8-10 year olds. Even at this age, and with a full class to deal with, I would not allow a child to be left alone for 30 mins at least with no adult interaction. Not acceptable.

You’re in Scotland?
I would be VERY concerned by them making a footprint painting of your son’s foot.
The Care Inspectorate are incredibly against “created artwork” that’s not the child’s own work.

To be honest if start him with the childminder that will be the childminder for your chosen primary.

Our daughter started with the childminder for the only school we were in catchment for so I was pretty certain she would go there. She was 6 months at the time. She’s now 4 and started reception with 3 other girls she already knows at the childminder which made settling in extremely easy. The minder used to take them to school nursery for a few hours a day and pick them up too. The teachers know the minder as well and she knows kids through the school years who keep a look out for her on the playground.
As well as the fact that the childminder is a godsend for her hours and activities.
We found ours by looking for childminders in the local area that pick and drop from our school, then finding out how many kids from various years they had.

YANBU. I remember clearly walking past my DD2's infant school one day and seeing her just standing, at break time, nobody with her, nobody caring that a little girl was all alone.

Felicity I'm really not bothered about them taking his footprint. He's 9 months old. He can't do it himself. It would probably be a nice keepsake to remember how ridiculously huge his feet are for 9 months old. They performed well on their last inspection.

Op - chilfminder.. i currently have a 10 month old( not today) he certainly wouldn't allow me to ignore him.

However i am going to ask , whilst no toys nothing to play with is not goid enough, coukd you see the staff ,clearly they weren't doing enough as they have changed their behaviour but is ut possible they were chatting to him across the room. I certainty do that. We might be singing action songs etc. I would check in regularly.

Last thing you never ever have to justify why you put yoyr chikd in nursery.. your decision to use a nursery is yours. Just be wary of recommendations.. Each child you look after us very different. Some people may well have had a child who sought out attention, staff turnover.. most recommendations are also there own experiences rather than a comparison

@FelicityPike

You’re in Scotland? I would be VERY concerned by them making a footprint painting of your son’s foot. The Care Inspectorate are incredibly against “created artwork” that’s not the child’s own work.

I also don't really like it when this is done - our childminder used to give me cards 'that DS had made' when he was 9 months - but how is it possibly something to be 'VERY concerned' about?!

@Hardbackwriter because it shows that they’re willing to breach CI instructions/ guidelines.
If they break one, what else are they doing that they’re not supposed to?

They’ve a Camera so you can see what’s going on?! Wow!!!

My DD has being going to nursery since she was 6 months, she’s 12 months now. I haven’t a clue what’s going on during the day, she’s squeals when she gets there so that is good enough for me. And I trust them. My DS went there and I wouldn’t have trusted any other nursery to look after her from such a young age.

I think the key question is, do you still trust them?

They slipped up, and your DC shouldn’t have been on his own for so long- if you trust them give them a chance to put it right. If you don’t then I think look for another nursery

I don't like it, either FelicityPike. They are babies, not paintbrushes. Plenty of ways to produce work that is actually done by the child and has a level of participation rather than just sitting passively while someone paints and prints a body part.

Actually, the fact that this nursery has cameras would concern me, too.
Parents are not paid to do the nursery's job and check that their child is being properly cared for. Cameras don't prevent bad practice or abuse, they give a false sense of security and have been used to dismiss allegations "Well, it wasn't on the camera, so it can't have happened".

Why aren't management ensuring that the children are being cared for adequately instead of relying on a static camera?

Is making a footprint even making an art work? Isn't it a 'sensory activity'? Either way I think it would be hard to do with a 9 month old without lots of interaction and one-on-one time so I think it's a nice thing for a nursery to do.