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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my own father.

104 replies

lilfoxfur · 15/09/2020 19:07

Background- dad is early sixties, is an alcoholic and has been my entire life. Was abusive during my childhood, physically and mentally, to myself, siblings and dm. Mainly booze driven.

Parents divorced when I was 16 so 21 years ago. Dad has gradually worsened with alcohol to the point he can no longer work. Was hospitalised last year for liver damage.

Drinks cider, beer and rum, every day enough to fell a small horse. Also has eyesight issues which are also degenerating.

Tbh I feel I should have reported him many years ago but I did not. Mainly because we have next to no relationship and his job was dependent on his driving licence. He lived with my now deceased grandmother and if he lost his driving license my dgm would have lost her home.

Every evening he travels to a relative, after drinking. He continues to drink whilst there, then drives home. The journey is very short, not more than 5 minutes but does involve a main road.

My dsis called me tonight and said that he did not remember driving home last night. She still has a relationship with him. She was 5 when my parents separated and missed the worst of the abuse.

I have got to the Operation Crackdown website and am hesitating. He's a pathetic human being but he's my only father. Could any of you report your own father to the police? The fall out, if it's found out it is me who reported him is massive. At the moment he is on sick leave from work. Getting arrested will cause him to lose his job, I am having an internal battle. He could kill innocent people. I'd never forgive myself.

OP posts:
lilfoxfur · 16/09/2020 20:59

Thanks so much for the support. I guess it'll be a while before they actually get to his case but I'm sure they will eventually.

Tbh though he's the sort who will continue to drive even if he gets a ban. It's a shame his car won't be impounded really..

OP posts:
SpearmintPeppermint · 16/09/2020 21:09

You’ve done the right thing OP. Be kind to yourself Flowers

MomToTwoBabas · 16/09/2020 21:40

Report report report. My uncle died from getting hit by a drunk driver. My cousins had to grow up without him.

Alwaysinpain · 17/09/2020 01:02

@lilfoxfur Please also report his degenerative eyesight via the DVLA website. They will send him a letter within a week, calling him for a special eye test. No need to catch him at certain times. If he fails test, his licence is revoked immediately which will flag up to his insurance company, invalidating his car insurance which will be picked up by ANPR cameras within a day or two if he still continues to drive

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