To report my own father.

[lilfoxfur]

Background- dad is early sixties, is an alcoholic and has been my entire life. Was abusive during my childhood, physically and mentally, to myself, siblings and dm. Mainly booze driven.

Parents divorced when I was 16 so 21 years ago. Dad has gradually worsened with alcohol to the point he can no longer work. Was hospitalised last year for liver damage.

Drinks cider, beer and rum, every day enough to fell a small horse. Also has eyesight issues which are also degenerating.

Tbh I feel I should have reported him many years ago but I did not. Mainly because we have next to no relationship and his job was dependent on his driving licence. He lived with my now deceased grandmother and if he lost his driving license my dgm would have lost her home.

Every evening he travels to a relative, after drinking. He continues to drink whilst there, then drives home. The journey is very short, not more than 5 minutes but does involve a main road.

My dsis called me tonight and said that he did not remember driving home last night. She still has a relationship with him. She was 5 when my parents separated and missed the worst of the abuse.

I have got to the Operation Crackdown website and am hesitating. He's a pathetic human being but he's my only father. Could any of you report your own father to the police? The fall out, if it's found out it is me who reported him is massive. At the moment he is on sick leave from work. Getting arrested will cause him to lose his job, I am having an internal battle. He could kill innocent people. I'd never forgive myself.

How would you feel if he killed someone?

Report

I would report in a heartbeat!

He could kill or maim someone.

He could kill or maim himself.

There's no reason he or other family members would know it was you. deny, deny, deny if anyone accuses you.

Imagine how you would feel if some drunken sot hit someone you love and crippled him/her. Or killed them.

That's how someone's parent/ spouse/ child is going feel pretty soon if your DF continues like this.

Yes - it's just a short journey - proportionally more accidents happen on short journeys especially near home, because people feel over-confident with the route. If it's five minutes in the car surely it's a max of 1/2 hour walking. He should walk.

As someone who was run over at 9 years of age by someone who was drunk and having been left with permanent damage from that accident I wanted to thank you personally ilfoxfur,your report could well stop someone else suffering like I did so Thankyou,I know it couldn't have been easy but you have done the right thing

Well done you! When I was 10, one of my friends was killed by a drink driver. She had a horrible death, trapped by the car at the side of the road. Your father is a selfish old fool, you are a good person.

I'm generally not someone who thinks we should report report report on people all the time, however drink driving is something i would have absolutely no flexibility or leeway on. It's a crime, and a dangerous one which has no excuses. Well done for reporting OP.

Sorry - I just saw that you took the bull by the horns and reported.

Thank you - on behalf of whoever you stopped him from killing - thank you.

Well done. It's not even a bad thing to do to him as his own life is at risk, too.

@Member869894

I would warn him first

Why?

Do you think he doesn't know he's driving drunk?

You made the right choice

I know a family whose grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack at the wheel and wiped out a mother & two young children. The family of the driver have found this absolutely devastating, even though it was obviously in no way his fault (he had no history of heart problems - it was totally out of the blue).

magine how you would feel if your DF does the same and you have to live with the knowledge that you could have prevented it.

...pressed Post too soon ... Meant to add, you may have saved your self a lifetime of regret by reporting.

You did the right thing. Well done. My brother was almost killed by a drunk driver. The police officer who was first on the scene told us later that he was amazed my brother was alive and not brain damaged. Thank you for taking the steps to ensure another family doesn't have to go through the stress and worry we had to endure.

Well doen Op. You did the right thing. I know it cannot have been easy but if you save a life then to will be worth it.

I can't believe you're even asking this. Yes, report him. A 3 year old boy was recently killed by an elderly driver in my local area. I bet she had family who were like 'oh we can't take her car away...'. Well now a tiny boy who had barely started his life is dead and his mother broken hearted. Report. Him. And give them enough information to actually catch him doing it please

You did the right thing. My Dsis and I reported our mum a few years ago - difficult because she lives abroad, but we knew she drove drunk and we knew she didn't have a valid license, having let her old one lapse (age) and then failing the retest. The neighbours in her street worked with us and the police took her car away.

This was after telling her many, many, many times that she must not drive.

She didn't fight it.

Thank you for reporting him. Along with the obvious safety issues, it’s actually the best and kindest thing to do FOR HIM, in the long term. Enabling alcoholics and shielding them from consequences doesn’t actually helping them. And one of the potential consequences of drink driving is that you may get arrested (and frankly, that’s the least awful potential consequence of drink driving )

I have a (now recovered) alcoholic relative. They are lovely and caring and we have a great relationship, but if i had ever had reason to think they were drinking and driving i would have reported them in a heartbeat.

You have done the right thing OP but just be aware that if you rang Crimestoppers IME they can be useless. I reported our next door neighbour. An 88year old alcoholic, also on a cocktail of psychiatric meds and with cataracts.
I reported her for her own protection as well as everyone elses.
Nothing happened and when I rang the local Police they had not been passed any info by crimestoppers.
The Police were brilliant, they went to talk to her and got her to voluntarily give up her licence.

Thank you lilfoxfur.
Hopefully he gets caught soon and the roads become safer for the rest of us.

Yes, you have to. I think you already know that.

You'd never forgive yourself if you didn't and he crashed & killed someone.

Just seen that you have.

WELL DONE, OP!

Try not to feel bad. You've done the right thing.x.

Thanks for making the tough but right choice OP

I’ve reported people (inc my STBXH) for drink driving. Thank you for reporting your Dad, I hope the police catch him before he kills or injures an innocent person

Well done, it's hard. I reported my brother who did get caught but not related to my reporting, he crashed his car with his daughter in it (luckily not hurt) and got a 2 year ban due to the level of the alcohol in his blood and the fact he had a child in the car with him. He hasn't had a drink since and that must be 8 years ago now.

Thank you. I lost a family member to drink driving and the sentence the driver got was derisory compared to the sentence his friends and family got.

I reported my own father to crime stoppers for drink driving. I honestly would t hesitate. He could so easily kill someone if he’s not stopped.