To ask what you find the hardest thing about being a mum

[violetmakesarainbow]

First time mum to 6 month old baby.

I love it, but wow, it's hard and so much harder than I expected.

I thought the baby would feed, sleep repeat. Wishful thinking.

It's so tiring. The lack of sleep is a killer, little time alone, little time alone with husband. Little time to wind down.
Constant worry about your baby, are they well & safe.
The worry of wether you are doing things right, is your baby doing what it "should"
The worry of if you're a good mum, are you as good as other mums.

Of course all of this is completely worth it when your baby smiles at you, laughs at you and their little face just lights up when you enter the room!!!

I may be completely alone in my feelings (in which case, I will start to panic)
But what does every one else find hard about being a parent?

Yeah at six months I felt the same. Then I slowly realised they develop all on their own and all differently. Long as they're cuddled and fed and cleaned really. And now after 7 years, I am tired and sad and feel like children have destroyed the very high opinion I had of my DH. He is not the father I thought he would be, and that's far harder to change..

You are not alone! Also FTM to 6 month old and I have similar feelings.

Luckily we get good sleep at the moment but I know what you mean about the lack of time alone or as a couple with husband. And always wondering if baby is ok and are we doing the right things. Like today, all we have done is go for a couple walks in the pram and watch CBeebies....

All of the above

That it's constant, there is no "home time". You don't get to switch off.

Oh & the feeling of being touched out.

The hardest thing about being a mum, is every now and then, it crosses my mind that she might die - and I feel my chest tighten, and I have to force myself to move on from the thought. Yeah, there’s day to day stuff that’s hard, or boring, or restrictive... but the single thing that most pulls me up short, is the fear of being without her.

The fear. I still sometimes find myself checking if they are breathing at night, and they are 6 and 8 now! Nothing in my life was harder or scarier than being handed this tiny, fragile thing and realising that my whole existence was suddenly dependent on her. It felt like constantly walking beside some huge, bottomless ravine into which I could fall at any time.

However, nothing comes close to that feeling when they are both snuggled up next to me, and everything feels perfect. I find myself sitting between them, grinning like a loon.

Knowing that you are responsible for them forever and ever and not getting overwhelmed by that.

Hope this helps OP. It’s universal. You’re not alone!

Also got a 6 month old. Ive been lucky that so far I have a 'good' and happy baby. However what I do struggle with is doing the same thing over and over 'oh, another nappy..right milk time again..dangle a toy..oh nappy again'

FTM to a 15 month old. I work full time and the hardest thing for me is just all the logistics - dropping him off, picking him up on time, making sure he has all his stuff, finding childcare in the first place, making sure he has healthy lunches and clean clothes and enough sleep.

I am not a naturally organized person and find it all a bit overwhelming.

@Cocomarine

The hardest thing about being a mum, is every now and then, it crosses my mind that she might die - and I feel my chest tighten, and I have to force myself to move on from the thought. Yeah, there’s day to day stuff that’s hard, or boring, or restrictive... but the single thing that most pulls me up short, is the fear of being without her.

@Cocomarine

This!!!! Absolutely this.

This has definitely got to be the hardest part of being a mum.

Sure the lack of sleep and freedom is tough, but the very thought and overwhelming worry of something ever happening to you baby, is by far the hardest things about bring a parent.

The fear, every else is a walk in the park.

Letting go. Mine are over 18 and living their own lives.. One away from hpme, but one still needs me for certain things eg feeding.

People judging your child and parenting if they don’t fit into the cookie cut norm.

Being touched out is pretty difficult.

Worrying about doing things wrong.

I have a 12 and 6 year old and one on the way. Honestly I don't worry about not being a good enough mum. I am very much far from the best, but also very far from the worst. I had my first young, infact I've never had the freedoms of an adult, so can't say I could miss something I never had. I have never lived a life outside of the family home without a child, so don't know what thats like. I am struggling with that as I get older actually. Feel like I issued out on being an adult without responsibility. My dad kept me on a very tight leash when I was younger. Probably why o ended up pregnant.
What I struggle with most is the same rputinez over and over again. I work from home so am expected to do 99.9% of the cleaning, housework, cooling and childcare. I'm always default childcare. Partner just ups and leaves whenever he wants without running it by me to make sure I don't have plans.
I'm not a big fan of routine anyway, I get a bit stir crazy but seem to fall into routines very easily.

I felt all of this, agree with all the previous comments.

Never fear though, mine are now 13 and 10 and I promise you, the hardest thing remaining about being their mum is knowing I have to cook them fucking dinners every night until the end of time. Man, that shit is depressing.

All the rest will pass, even the tiredness. But cooking bloody dinners won’t.

Different things at different stages.
Death of them & me as babies.
Safety as toddlers, they do try to kill themselves a lot.
Development norms as toddlers.
Emotional health as pre schoolers then when starting school, making friends, being lonely, fitting in, coping with school.
Behaviour throughout school, being bullied or being a bully. Being popular or just on the sidelines.
Getting them up & to go to school as teenagers, exams, outside influencers, pitfalls of teenage years.
Then college?uni? Apprenticeship?job? Future????
Worry with a huge dollop of guilt, constantly.

The point where they start going out without you and you have limited control over whether they are safe or not.

School. Our son is 14. He struggles with everything and it's just relentless. It affects his mood and self confidence

Watching DS being bullied was the hardest part of parenting.

The few times in life I truly lost my shit was over that.

He's 17 now, has BPD (most likely because of the bullying) and has just come out as asexual.

He's in college and is FINALLY finding himself and accepting how awesome he is.

The hardest part of being a parent is definitely sleep deprevation & basically doing it by myself as my husband has his own businesses & works 6 days a week.

Well no- one tells you that you have to live through every single pain of adolescence again, only this time its probably worse!

I have an 11 month old. It does get easier. I really like this stage actually. He’s starting to interact with us and that’s nice. I’m lucky he’s pretty easy, slept through from 4 weeks I think.
Hardest things are probably not being able to switch off. I miss duvet days sometimes haha. I could probably still do that and have someone babysit but then I’d miss him.
And never being sure if I’m doing things right and fear I’m being judged by others on my parenting when I do think that’s irrational and just in my head.
I also find it annoying that my partner gets told all the time he’s such a good dad and I don’t get the same compliment

When they become of an age that you have to let them loose on the world and watch them make mistakes (most of them about stuff that you’ve already lectured them about at length), some of them potentially life ending.

How I long for the days that they were all under 10 and they were still under my complete control (including how often and how thoroughly they washed). The leg work then was preferable to the mental stress now .

Of course all of this is completely worth it when your baby smiles at you, laughs at you and their little face just lights up when you enter the room!!!

I admire your outlook. When my DCs were 6months old I absolutely did not think a smile made all the crap parts worth it! To my mind it was a shitty payoff considering the mountain of effort and sacrifice involved in parenting.

The worst part for me is the ever present responsibility. I'm not responsible by nature and up until becoming a mum I lived a very hedonistic lifestyle. I took a long long time to adapt to the constraints of motherhood and even though I'm quite a few years in I still get flashes of resentment when I'm tired and/or they're pushing my buttons. I just want to be left alone a lot of the time!