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Original poster

Do you still love your children the same when they are teenagers?

144 replies

ThereSheGoes1419 · 14/09/2020 12:27

DC are 5 and 1. Of course I know that I will still love them when they are teens, but will I still love them as intensely as I do now? Currently they depend on me for everything, and they are so bloody cute that I just want to pick them up and squeeze them. I look at them laying in their beds at night and my heart feels so full. Is it the same when they become teenagers?

OP posts:
TheChippendenSpook · 14/09/2020 12:28

I bloody adore my teenager. He is so lovely and funny and a great person to be around, he's ace!

MissScarletInTheSnug · 14/09/2020 12:32

They may not need you so much for practical things but they definitely need you more emotionally as they get older...despite the fact that they sometimes push you away.

As teenagers they become people in their own right rather than slightly an extension of you. They have their own ideas and opinions and are hilarious and indignant and interesting.

The worry seems worse - school becomes high stakes with exams, they are emotionally vulnerable and friendship upsets can last for weeks. Not to mention when they start driving / going off on their own.

The love just keeps growing.

WasntSupposedToBeLikeThis · 14/09/2020 12:33

I also adore my teenage boys. Don't get me wrong they can be a right royal pain in the ass at times but I love their company. They are 16 and 14.

iamabox · 14/09/2020 12:34

My oldest DS is 21, and I love him fiercely, but between the ages of around 14 until 19/20 I didnt always like him..

oohyoudevilyou · 14/09/2020 12:34

Yes, you love them just as much, but your relationship with them evolves with time.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 14/09/2020 12:37

I came back off holiday on Tuesday. My mother told me to message her no matter how late I got back as she’d worry otherwise. I’m 41.

I don’t need my mother to cook and clean for me anymore, but I’ll always need her and she’ll always love and worry about me Smile

romany4 · 14/09/2020 12:38

Yes you do.
I always thought that once your kids weren't little anymore, you wouldn't love them the same.
My boys are now in their 20s and I love them as intensely now as I did when they were babies. baby
It helps that they have both grown up into lovely adults

seayork2020 · 14/09/2020 12:39

My son is a different child for baby, toddler, child and soon teenager so I love him for him

AryaStarkWolf · 14/09/2020 12:40

I have 1 of each, DS is 16 and DD is 20, they are/were both really good teenagers (thankfully) and I still adore them like I did back when they were tiny

GrapeHyacinth · 14/09/2020 12:40

Yes I do. They are 13 and 16. They are both lovely. Dd1 has been easy. Dd2 was fine during lockdown/holidays. Has been a bit cantankerous since returning to year 9, but I don't take it personally. Love them to bits.

Gumbo · 14/09/2020 12:41

Teens are awesome, far better/funnier/engaging/chatty than when they're little, and far better company. You'll love them differently to the way you love them now, because your relationship will be different as they head into adulthood Smile

PuckleP · 14/09/2020 12:42

iamabox exactly, mine is now 28 and I often told him ' I'll always love you but I don't like you or the way you behave at times'. Even now if he falls asleep on my sofa I look at him and melt inside Smile

SulkingRoomPunk · 14/09/2020 12:43

DD (15) and I muddle along nicely - we’re good friends and make either laugh. Once in a while I look at her when she is absorbed in something and i catch a glimpse of the toddler/little girl she used to be and my heart lurches.

I love her just as deeply but (most of the time) not as fiercely but that’s as it should be as we need to separate somewhat so she can become independent and I can let go a little.

SulkingRoomPunk · 14/09/2020 12:44

*Make each other laugh

Fannybawz · 14/09/2020 12:45

They become your chums.

Your relationship shifts, but to a more equitable one and if you’re lucky and you have similar interests, it’s amazing 💔

FudgeBrownie2019 · 14/09/2020 12:46

Absolutely. I can't ever imagine not loving them the way I do right now. They are fabulous!

runningclearwater · 14/09/2020 12:46

@PuckleP

iamabox exactly, mine is now 28 and I often told him ' I'll always love you but I don't like you or the way you behave at times'. Even now if he falls asleep on my sofa I look at him and melt inside Smile
I’m never sure about that tbh. Sometimes it’s a fair point but telling someone they are unlikable isn’t conducive to them being more pleasant.
NellyJames · 14/09/2020 12:46

Yes, absolutely! In fact it’s my favourite stage so far. They’re so clever and funny and you sometimes stop and think, ‘wow, I made that!’ Grin

Roomba · 14/09/2020 12:48

Yes. DS1 is almost 15 - he's not as 'cute' and squishy as he was at five, but my heart melts just as much as ever when I chat with him, he makes me laugh or he rests his head on my shoulder when we're watching some god awful anime he chose on Netflix (his taste in TV shows is still woeful but thank christ it's not Ben 10 on a loop these days).

He is becoming a wonderful, intelligent, witty, thoughtful young man. I still get that feeling you get when you look at your toddler and think 'how on earth did this amazing fully formed person spring from me?' Sure, he has his annoying moments just like any other opinionated teenager. Persuading him to do things he doesn't want to do is harder than when he was little. The worry for him never goes, the things worried about just change over time.

CaptainAthena · 14/09/2020 12:48

I have one teen and two in early 20s away at uni and I still love them so so intensely. It's hard not seeing them everyday, it's hard not being able to pick them up and protect them and I often think back to their early childhood wistfully! I'm very proud of them though and I'm glad they are all so independent

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 14/09/2020 12:48

Hmmm I wouldn't tell a child I didn't like them either. My parents did that... I hopefully never will!

potter5 · 14/09/2020 12:49

Of course. Both of mine are now in their 30's.
Love them as much if not more now as they are lovely people.
When they are young it is a fierce protective love.
When they are older it is still a fierce protective love but in a different way. You just want them to be happy and not be hurt emotionally.

CaptainAthena · 14/09/2020 12:53

@PineappleUpsideDownCake

Hmmm I wouldn't tell a child I didn't like them either. My parents did that... I hopefully never will!
Me neither, my mother used to say that to me and it was devastating. I felt utterly worthless. Don't see her now
siblingrevelryagain · 14/09/2020 12:53

My eldest is now 13-he is brilliant company (I’m a single parent so it’s now lovely we can watch some box sets together) and makes me howl with laughter.

My Dad is dying, and he seems to just know when I need a lift; he asks if I want a cuppa at the right time, or will just come up and give me a squeeze or tell me he loves me. He really is the loveliest boy and I can’t wait to see him make a brilliant partner and Dad when he’s older.

Choccyp1g · 14/09/2020 12:57

It's a bloody good thing I do love DS, otherwise I'd have strangled him long ago.

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