Do you still love your children the same when they are teenagers?

[ThereSheGoes1419]

DC are 5 and 1. Of course I know that I will still love them when they are teens, but will I still love them as intensely as I do now? Currently they depend on me for everything, and they are so bloody cute that I just want to pick them up and squeeze them. I look at them laying in their beds at night and my heart feels so full. Is it the same when they become teenagers?

I am lucky I have a really good teenager but I have to admit I am finding it really hard to connect to him (DS13) probably because he doesn't need me as much as my younger children and he doesn't spend much time with us when we are all home. I feel I am losing my relationship with him and unfortunately all I end up doing is nagging him about his room, laundry money clothes etc.

Yes, but you may not always like the way they behave.

It's more emotional worry and less worrying about their physical needs.

It changes. They may pull away from you a bit when in their mid teens and that's sad for a while, before they grow up a bit and you are no longer the embarrassing parent who they think is out to spoil their fun by imposing stupid to them rules. The love never wavers, it's just mixed in with a bit more exasperation as you tell them for the millionth time to put their shoes away.

Yes, you do love them just as much, but honestly for me, not the same. The love you have for them when they are so young and so dependant on you for everything is most definitely a different kind of love.

I'm not saying the love is in any way less, but it does evolve - as it should, because how else will you be able to let them go and live their own lives ha ha. With my first as a baby I couldn't bear to let him out of my sight, now as a teenager I'm happy for him to go on school trips abroad etc. So for me definitely not the same, but still just as much!

Love mine too!

It's great to be able to watch the same TV shows/films and all enjoy them! I love talking about current affairs with them, they are so knowledgeable and sensible about stuff!

Teenagers are fantastic!

Oh yes. Teens are wonderful and exasperating in the same way toddlers are but it's just amazing seeing them move into adulthood. Mine still a hugger too so live is good.

Teens can be exasperating and they can inspire momentary feelings of rage (at least my 14 year old does!). But I love spending time with her and I still love giving her a big hug. I think I love her more than ever.

I don't know. I can't imagine loving 2 year old DS more than I do right now . He's going through a huggy, cuddly phase and keeps climbing into my lap or hugging my legs wherever we are saying "I love you so much, Mummy, you're the best". On the bus, in the shop, everywhere... How can a surly teenager with exam stress and smelly football kit who thinks I'm past it compete with that ?

Guilty confession, but I'm not sure I loved him so much (or really much at all) when he was a baby...He was a red angry screaming little goblin who didn't sleep that much and I'd happily hand him to whoever would take him to get some peace. I felt like I was going through the motions more than anything until about 8 months.

I absolutely adore DS15. He's been great company for me while we were both at home and DH was out at work. I feel grateful he hasn't gone through the moody teen stage and we have never clashed over anything.

This is such a sweet reassuring thread. My DC are still little and I've often wondered the same thing.

I'm struggling to love my 14 year old son right now. He is such a moody little brat, ungrateful, hostile, rude, won't do anything I ask him. Any question, even ''do you want pasta?'' is greeted with a ''what kind of stupid question is that'' face.

:-/

Absolutely! My DS18 just moved to uni and she is my best friend! I adore her!

Yes and I still want to see their faces at the end of the day as I did when they were toddlers (picking up from nursery or whatever). I'm fact probably more so now I know they're cute and they sleep all night and wipe their own bottoms.
Though bottom wiping duty has been replaced by spider removal.

@Todaythiscouldbe

I absolutely adore DS15. He's been great company for me while we were both at home and DH was out at work. I feel grateful he hasn't gone through the moody teen stage and we have never clashed over anything.

I'm so envious :-(

Yes I did, very much but remember from age 16 I 'let go' somewhat.

I don't know, yes I guess. But it is slightly different because you are both different people than you were a decade before, if that makes sense?

I haven't got on brilliantly with my eldest for the entirety of his teenage years culminating in him leaving and living by himself at the first opportunity (I was supportive of his decision either way) and hes now 19. I haven't seen him since April. He works in a care home and I am vulnerable but I am kidding myself if I think that's the only reason he has stayed away.
I hope we can navigate back to a good place, I miss him.

My 14 yo is a complete opposite. I treat her no different to how I treated my eldest but we just get on much better. I wouldn't say we were best mates or anything but we do things together and just hang out all the time. She is much easier to be around. Maybe its a girl/boy thing. I dunno.

13 and 15 year olds here. My eldest is a great conversationalist and bloody hilarious too. The youngest is the go-getter in the family and I absolutely adore the bones of her. They're fucking amazing and I love them both a ridiculous amount!

My mum didn't. She spent years telling me that she wished I was a toddler again, once I had hit teenage years. Happily we grew close again once she was very elderly but we had a difficult thirty years!

I remember being very sad for her. She always loved small children, but missed out on so much. She lost years of fun and companionship, just waiting for me to have grandchildren (I was in no hurry) and adopting cats.

Your children will not be so snuggly/edible when they are teens but they will be fabulous human beings with ideas and disasters and hopes and jokes and stories to share with you. (And they usually let you sleep too!)

Oh my goodness, my three lads are 27, 19 and 17 and I absolutely love the bones off them - but I remember wondering the same when they were younger and how I would feel when they were more independent and needed me less and less. The only way I can explain it is you grow and change with them. It’s hard as a mum letting go or loosening those apron strings, but somehow I did it as all (or most) mothers do 😅
I worry and fret but not as much and my boys know that no matter what where or when, they will always have a home with us if needed x

Yes - although I was called “intense” for mildly suggesting my 11 year old might want to come paddleboarding with me 😁

Absolutely without any doubt.

I have a 6 yr old and 14 yr old. My husband also has 29 year old, 26 yr old and 22 month old grandaughter.
Each age is amazing in its own way. I love the discussion I can have with my 14 year old. Teenage years can be tough, but remember we were teenagers too once and can hopefully understand why they behave the way they do sometimes.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

I came back off holiday on Tuesday. My mother told me to message her no matter how late I got back as she’d worry otherwise. I’m 41.

I don’t need my mother to cook and clean for me anymore, but I’ll always need her and she’ll always love and worry about me

My mum is exactly the same!!! As I am now with my dcs in their 20s

My oldest two are 15 and almost 13 and these past few years and have been my favourite time spent with them. Watching them be more independent, ask different questions, falter over new situations, ask for advice has made my heart burst in exactly the same way them mispronouncing funny words, put their arms up to be lifted did when they were much younger. Even their eye rolls which they think I can't see brings me a different kind of joy .