Should I ignore the HV?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Health Visitor came round to visit DS (8mths) this week for a general check up.

She said (in her own words) how "horrified" she was to see the size of DS. He's always been on 99.6th centile in both length (now 78cm) and weight, but since being weaned he's tipped slightly off the charts in weight to just over 25lbs. She me feel about 2 inches tall and gave me a proper rollicking for "over feeding" DS.

He used to have around 500mls of formula three times a day, porridge (65g) for breakfast and home cooked dinners with veg (around 100g) for lunch and dinner. No snacks, apart from some chopped up fruit when he was a bit grumpy.

Her advice is I need to cut all of this in half. Two bottles (150ml each) only on waking and bedtime, 32g of porridge, 50g of food for lunch and dinner. What's worse, is that she wants us to go from lunchtime at 11.45am until dinner at 5pm with nothing in between?

Because she made me feel so small and being a FTM, we followed her advice for a few days, but DS is understandably inconsolable and is sobbing with hunger most of the day. He is waking up in the night (despite sleeping through) and takes ages to get back to sleep.

My gut tells me I should probably cut down a bit, but not to the extent she wants us too. Surely there has to be a happy medium? AIBU to ignore her?

I'd let it be for the time being - maybe make sure that he's getting unprocesed food mist of the time, a d that he he's able to control his own intake. DD put on a huge amount amount of weight as a baby, going from the 25th centile to just under the 99th in her first two months. She's now unable to wear trousers to school because she's an age 9 in waist circumference and an age 14 in leg length.

My son was the same age and roughly the same weight. My HV said my frequency and amount of feeds were fine and were as follows:

Morning:

2 scoops of porridge mixed with a portion of a 6oz bottle of milk

10-11am: 7 oz bottle

12.30/1 pm: full jar of food and water

4pm: full jar of food and water

Roughly 3 7 oz bottles in the night - bearing in mind my son didn’t drink ALL of the bottles every time and often left most of not all.

I was contacted by HV again to say that he is having way too much milk and to half this so I cut the bottles during the day and he has water instead and has his usual milk on a night.

If your baby is sobbing with hunger, feed him. I don’t care what anyone says, feed him if he’s hungry. That’s such a long time For a baby to go with nothing to eat.

@MIgZig

Looking at the charts on the royal college of paedetricians, he is above the 99 centile for height and between the 98 and 99.6 centile for weight. To me that looks like he is the absolute correct weight for his height and your health visitor is being a bit of a daft cow. Ignore. charts

I was going to say exactly the same thing.

Genetics is going to play a factor. His father is on the 99th centile for height and you are on the 94th centile, he was born on the 99/6th centile for height, so it is hardly surprising that he is on the 99th centile for height now. It seems more likely his length is due to genetics rather than overfeeding. His weight is in line with his height, according to the RCP charts.

At 8 months he needs 750 - 900 calories a day. If you are not BF, it should be easy enough to tot up the calories he is consuming and see if you are overfeeding him.

Ignore.

Firstly, never limit milk. It's their main source of nutrition until age 1. Maybe offer slightly less food if you feel you should; you're his mum, you know best.

Honestly do not understand how this 'profession' is still going.

My hv had a go at me for holding my son while sleeping while she was in front of us. He was breastfeeding!!

If you refused his milk so much he would need vitamin supplements. She is wrong. Let him self regulate and feed healthy food. In a household with healthy eaters who do exercise he will soon be a beanpole. Mine were all bigger than yours )in all directions) and they have all grown into what genetics would suggest - tall, angular, sinewy beings. I would live some chub to cuddle!

@oakleaffy I wasn't referring to losing weight, I was referring to the suggestion that overeating could lead to being too tall.

Looking at WHO weight for height charts, he’s very, very heavy for his length.
Don’t do anything yourself, but get a GP appointment, and a paediatric dietician referal.
You can very definitely overfeed bottle fed babies, and early high weight can also definitely influence weight later on, so please follow up with somebody qualified!

this is the chart:
www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/cht_wfl_boys_p_0_2.pdf

What a shame so many HV's seem to be very poor at talking to parents and certainly don't seem to have the experience they should. My mum was a fully trained paediatric nurse, an independent midwife and one of the first HV's in Scotland. She joined lectures at Edinburgh Uni for medical students to gain her qualification. She had more qualifications than the area's chief nursing officer but she had no interest in doing anything other than a hands on job working with mums and babies. She would have been 100 this year.

I wouldn't ignore her advice, as there will probably be a record of it, but would either ask for a referral to a dietician or a Community Paediatrician to show that you are taking it seriously.

DS was underweight, and the HV was concerned, so I asked for a referral and the Community Paed said he was small, but healthy.

Ignore her. I have three children. Twin boys now 5. They are non identical. One is sturdy. The other was very slow to gain weight. He was and still is a very good eater, very healthy. The health visitor was horrible and left me in tears on occasion. - weighing him, quizzing me, talking about eczema all over his body ( he never had a imperfection or his skin). MY GP used to always ask what did I use on my kids skin as it was so good - crazy. He is fine like me but strong, bursting with energy and perfect. When I look back I wish I'd had the wit and strength to ask her to leave. I often think about how her behaviour would affect some young vulnerable mum or a someone coping on their own as she shook me so much. As long as you are feeding your boy healthily and he is healthy and happy pay no heed to her or any charts. xx

By the way I was back and forward to dieticians until he was 4 who were always perfectly happy.

I wouldn't set much stock by any professional who is prepared to use the term horrified in this context. I really wouldn't trust her judgement.

I'd see a paed dietitian privately, notify that had happened and remove my child from the HV register.(both parents must sign a written letter and you could mention the private appointment then).

You listen to your HV @marvellousmaplesyrup

As long as you are feeding your boy healthily and he is healthy and happy pay no heed to her or any charts.
unfortunately, this is NOT true. You can overfeed babies and children with healthy food, and portion sizes is essential. However, especially in kids that young, changes should be done with a paediatric dietician, not just by reducing random elements of food

@Marshmallow91

Please OP if you do one thing today, ignore *@Sertchgi123*

Give your baby what he needs - YOU know him best, not the HV. I second asking for a referral to a paediatric dietician because they'll be best to advise you. Until then, go back to normal and let your baby eat and drink, they don't overeat at that stage.

You do ignore her, let me tell you this, if you ignore a HV and they can clearly see your ignoring their advice, they can and will get SS involved as professionally I have seen this happen.

I highly doubt this is an issue social services will be interested in so why scaremonger?

I'm really sorry I have t got time to go through the thread for replies, my baby is 7 months and 23lb. He isn't particularly long, but is an absolute chunk! Doesn't look too fat but he is such a solid chunk. He is well on course to match your boy, he's in 12-18m clothes already.
He is breastfed. He's being baby led weaned, so isn't eating a huge amount at all, barely a tenth of a small baby portion.
You cannot overfeed a breastfed baby so I am more than happy he is just the way he should be. He was 5lb 13 born so hasn't always been a big baby or anything, he has just grown lots. He is crawling and it hasn't slowed his weight gain at all.
If your baby was happy and now he isn't, I'd be going back to what it was. I know it's not as easy when they're formula fed, I don't envy you at all. But weight wise he seems just fine to me.

@GalaxyCookieCrumble the baby is hardly being mistreated so why try to scare a first time mother? If the child is obese and being looked after poorly then possibly but you don't actually have to have a health visitor. Social services will not give a damn if you ignore your health visitor.

[quote timeforanew]this is the chart:
www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/cht_wfl_boys_p_0_2.pdf[/quote]
The RCP charts are based on the WHO charts but are more useful as they take into account age. A healthy weight for a 78cm, 8 month old baby and a 78cm, 18 month old toddler are not the same.

My baby is a little fatty too, I'm not worried. He is the same age as your son, he is a baby! They can't overeat!

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat 🤣🤣

I'd also vote to ignore OP, maybe tell her you don't require anymore checks, it is optional isn't it?

They are very unlikely to involve social services FFS. What utter crap.

I've had good health visitors and shit ones having had three children while we lived in different areas. The bad ones I ignored completely and never went back after the first visit. Social services were never involved.