Should I ignore the HV?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Health Visitor came round to visit DS (8mths) this week for a general check up.

She said (in her own words) how "horrified" she was to see the size of DS. He's always been on 99.6th centile in both length (now 78cm) and weight, but since being weaned he's tipped slightly off the charts in weight to just over 25lbs. She me feel about 2 inches tall and gave me a proper rollicking for "over feeding" DS.

He used to have around 500mls of formula three times a day, porridge (65g) for breakfast and home cooked dinners with veg (around 100g) for lunch and dinner. No snacks, apart from some chopped up fruit when he was a bit grumpy.

Her advice is I need to cut all of this in half. Two bottles (150ml each) only on waking and bedtime, 32g of porridge, 50g of food for lunch and dinner. What's worse, is that she wants us to go from lunchtime at 11.45am until dinner at 5pm with nothing in between?

Because she made me feel so small and being a FTM, we followed her advice for a few days, but DS is understandably inconsolable and is sobbing with hunger most of the day. He is waking up in the night (despite sleeping through) and takes ages to get back to sleep.

My gut tells me I should probably cut down a bit, but not to the extent she wants us too. Surely there has to be a happy medium? AIBU to ignore her?

Follow the advice, a fat baby will grow into a fat adult

DS2 was incredibly fat. Just rolls and cheeks that nearly hid his eyes and mouth. Purely breastfed until 6 months so god alone knows how he got that fat. By 3 he was a little whippet and has been skinny ever since

Follow the advice, a fat baby will grow into a fat adult.

Utter rubbish- why do people feel the need to spout such drivel.

@VeniceQueen2004
HVs ime are poorly-trained, overworked harridans who enjoy the ego trip of criticising first time mums.

Absolutely agree.

Ignore her OP and enjoy your baby!

My nephew was off the charts for height and weight -he was a mini celebrity in his local clinic. As he was so big he needed more calories he was the size of a one year old at 6 months. He is now 5 but towers above his class mates. Dad is 6ft mum is 5ft 6 inches - however grandfather was 6ft.5 and built like a rugby player. Some kids are just big. My son was the total opposite and is still only on 9th percentile at 3yrs he is still in 18-24mth clothing. They should keep track of his height and weight to see if he is growing at a consistent rate.

@Sertchgi123 that's not always fact I never listened to the HV when they told me what I can and cannot be feeding my kids. OP is your child happy? Before you cut down was your child sleeping through the night? Then dont take an ounce of notice what ever you was doing it was obviously working for you and your child so please dont take any notice of them

Nearly 2 stone at 8 months is pretty enormous! I would definitely be trying to implement some of the changes but probably not to the extreme she’s suggested.

@Sertchgi123 - Follow the advice, a fat baby will grow into a fat adult.

Absolute bollocks!! Never heard such rubbish.

Dd was a real Buddha as a baby. Slimmed down as soon as she started walking. Size 6 aged 17.

Ds also a chubby baby. Now 13, eats like a horse, and on the 9th venture for weight.

Venture = centile

Friend of mine (non native English speaker) misunderstood the instructions on the formula powder box and basically gave her baby twice the number of calories she should have done. By nine months the baby looked like the Michelin Man - huge rolls of fat everywhere. None of us wanted be the ones to say anything because you are NEVER thanked for it, but fortunately a HV did, and the mistake was discovered. I am deeply suspicious of HVs, particularly the dinosaurs who have never bothered to learn modern science, but this one did her job.

@marvellousmaplesyrup my twins are 8 months adjusted. Slightly shorter than yours, 76 cm but 25 lbs. They have milk at 8, 12, 3, 7, 11 on average, 210 ml each time plus meals. No way would they last on two bottles a day 😂

A fat baby will not grow in to a fat adult. Babies and people are more than the number on the scales. Sounds like a healthy happy baby. Feed him, watch him grow and everything will regulate when he’s active

Posters really shouldn't be advising her to cut down formula for an 8 month old! It's unsafe advice. The baby is only on 500ml and it's the most complete, essential nutrients they are eating. It's not excessive at all.

Our HV said to us “all you english people smell like cheese, the same as the French smell like garlic.” She also advised every parent in the village to have their child wear a 23hr a day soft helmet as their head was squashed. We were stunned

As much as I respect professionals having been a nanny for twenty odd years I would say ignore her .
You sound like you are doing a fab job .
Babies store fat until they are 10 months in preservation for crawling and walking stage when lots of energy is used .
They soon slim down and naturally as they grow in length..
If you are concerned then see your GP

Mum knows best!

@marvellousmaplesyrup wouldn’t worry too much. I think you’re right - cut back a bit.

How did you get HV to come to you?? Would love to take DS to see one but can’t anywhere with trying...

As I think you realise yourself you were overfeeding with portions but do understand why you’ve now got a miserable baby. Suggest you follow the plan but add 2 small healthy snacks & give the milk at bedtime. He doesn’t need a bottle of formula as well as porridge made with milk in the daytime. He’s not very active so isn’t burning it off or need these huge portions.

I seem to remember DS was around that weight at that age, 99% centile etc etc.

It's fine - he's just a big baby! There's no way he'll be overweight once he starts walking around!

Utter nonsense a fat baby does not necessarily grow into a fat child!

@Sertchgi123. What bollocks!

My eldest daughter was a chubby baby, a chunky toddler, an avarage built child and teen and a slim adult. Youngest was a skinny baby, skinny child, skinny young teen, slim older teen. Both are quite tall as young adults / teenager (5 ft 8 and 5 ft 10). In other words, all children are different. Sounds like you are doing a great job, its not as though your baby is eating a sausage roll and 6 chicken nuggets for lunch followed by a chocolate bar (!). You sound like a great mum.

No they dont. Both of my nephews were very fat babies and are both now like bean poles. My own daughter was chubby as a baby and is now slim and healthy. I was a very thin baby my mum couldnt get me to eat as a toddler and was very worried because I was so thin. I am now over 16st and forever dieting. Every person is different.

Ignore as long as he’s following his curve

OP please DO NOT feel pressured or upset by your HV. Your post made me so cross. How dare they make you feel like that. I had the same. A bit different scenario but both mine ( girl and a boy were premature) so quite underweight and I was made to feel inadequate, but also the mum guilt of not being able to go full term. I agree with pp about some of these ‘professionals’ enjoying the power. Pick the bones out of their ‘advice’ and do as you see fit. Take this from someone whose next door neighbour said upon seeing DD home for the first time said ‘oh my god...she looks like a baby bird who shouldn’t be out the nest’. Never forgotten that one. She had a boy slightly older the size of a house. Guess what though...they’re 16 yo now and completely normal size. Bet she never remembers her comment though. OP, people with power can be fuckers. Enjoy your 8 month old. It won’t be long before you will be free of HV’s. Feeling your pain xxx

Late to the party but if it's any comfort, my friend was told this too as her son was way over average on all percentiles. I told to ignore the advice and follow her gut and she now has a happy healthy, normal sized little boy who will eat literally any food she puts in front of him and is in no way overweight. They will soon burn off the baby rolls once they start moving and growing, at 8 months it's far too early to say your baby is too big. Please go with your gut and do what you think is right for your baby.