Should I ignore the HV?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Health Visitor came round to visit DS (8mths) this week for a general check up.

She said (in her own words) how "horrified" she was to see the size of DS. He's always been on 99.6th centile in both length (now 78cm) and weight, but since being weaned he's tipped slightly off the charts in weight to just over 25lbs. She me feel about 2 inches tall and gave me a proper rollicking for "over feeding" DS.

He used to have around 500mls of formula three times a day, porridge (65g) for breakfast and home cooked dinners with veg (around 100g) for lunch and dinner. No snacks, apart from some chopped up fruit when he was a bit grumpy.

Her advice is I need to cut all of this in half. Two bottles (150ml each) only on waking and bedtime, 32g of porridge, 50g of food for lunch and dinner. What's worse, is that she wants us to go from lunchtime at 11.45am until dinner at 5pm with nothing in between?

Because she made me feel so small and being a FTM, we followed her advice for a few days, but DS is understandably inconsolable and is sobbing with hunger most of the day. He is waking up in the night (despite sleeping through) and takes ages to get back to sleep.

My gut tells me I should probably cut down a bit, but not to the extent she wants us too. Surely there has to be a happy medium? AIBU to ignore her?

"Sertchgi123

Follow the advice, a fat baby will grow into a fat adult."

Absolute rubbish. I've seen lots of chubby babies grow into skinny 6 footers, and it sounds like yours will do the same

Ignore her and dont let her belittle you again you dont even need to have her visit if you don't want.

OP, you dont have to let the hv into your home if you dont want to. I stopped visiting mine after she scared me half to death regarding my babies weight. She lost a few pounds because she had a bad cold and soon made it up again.

Sorry, bit hopeless of me: trying again www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2818981/

I'm not saying all tall babies are obese - obviously, some babies will just naturally be tall. However, the thinking is that obesity in early childhood can manifest in height growth as well as weight growth. I'm no expert, but have heard this enough times from various sources to think it worth mentioning here.

But I'm not saying all tall babies are/will be obese. And you'll see I specifically told the OP not to change anything without expert advice (which I agree would be unlikely to involve underfeeding in the way the HV suggested).

Oh health visitors - I remember them well!
1st DD was born 8lb 6oz - first hv visit was told to get rid of our 2 cats, get rid of a glass topped coffee table and remove patio doors, dd overweight!
Went to Dr and he said ignore.
2nd DD was born 11lb 15 ozs (born 3 weeks early) and was so long that she didn't fit in the hospital crib - yes she was huge! - got told by hv she was grossly overweight! Again went to gp - referred to hospital who looked at family history (my nan had twins, born naturally, both over 15lbs)
Turned out most babies born in our family were all over 8lbs and very long!
At 2 weeks old she was put on a hungry baby feed and by 6 weeks I was advised to start weaning her on baby rice - she's now 24, over 6ft and a bean pole and she's just had my first grandson who was 10lb 4ozs!!
ALL 5 of my children were over 8lbs born and all nearly 1 meter long - now they are all over 6ft tall towering above their 5ft 11in mum!!!
By the time I had my 5th child I had a sticker on my notes that said "Beware! Big baby onboard!!!" 😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Yes I'm voting for ignore. I think a contented well-fed baby is much better (for baby and for the rest of the household!) than a distressed and hungry one.

The fact that he's on the same percentile (roughly) for weight and height is a good reason not to worry - he's in proportion.

If you did feel to do anything differently then doing more baby-led weaning and less spoon-feeding might be worth trying? But in my experience once they get on the move they burn all that chub right off :)

She sounds awful! DD has shot up to the 98th centile but the doctor has been monitoring for me as she has just been diagnosed with CMPA and we have had a referral to the dietician. She's now 9 months. I asked the doctor to weigh her while we were there because she looked bigger and I'd tried at home and she seemed to have gained a fair bit and when she told me her weight I did say that I was concerned she had gained so much and she told me not to worry; babies don't overeat they eat what they need (not like adults) and they would monitor but categorically do not try to reduce her food intake. I'll hear what the dietitian says but I wouldn't let my baby go hungry regardless. I would speak to your GP. (FYI my HV hasn't ever told us to put her on a diet either - they too said that it would just be monitored over time).
I will day though that DD is a little slower with her gross motor skills development (can't quite crawl, not pulling to stand yet) and I'm sure it's due to her size (she is both long and heavy)

My eldest lad was above the 100th percentile up to toddlerhood, he had his own line way off the chart. He had rolls on rolls on his legs and belly. It wasn't even brought up as a concern by HV but if it had been if have ignored them. He wasn't over fed and was active, walking at 11 months. He's now a tall, very gangly skinny boy at 10

They did this to me... from when DS was 4 months until his year check. I stopped having him weighed at 4 months and ignored them.
He is really tall, has huge feet and a little pot belly. He is no way overweight now at 2- still eats a lot though! He looked pretty chubby from 6 months til he started walking at 11 months but slimmed down pretty much straight away then.
If your baby is hungry then feed it and trust yourself :)

I had the exact opposite experience! Awful HV told me DC was “far too small” at about 5 months, and showed me how to get her to take more from a bottle (it is possible, but she just threw it all up a few mins later, as you’d expect!). Took her to GP who pointed out she was doing just fine.
I’d suggest keeping a food diary for a few days and making an appointment to get your DS checked over by someone else.

Health Visitors aren’t all bad it’s the luck of the draw I’m afraid, just like it is with GP’s, midwives, dentists etc.

Mumsnet in particular does love to hate them which really isn’t helpful in the grand scheme of things, I’m fairly neutral about them myself because I’m not precious about my parenting but I do think sometimes just as you have to do with other professions you need to take things with a pinch of salt and figure out your own way.

What you’re giving him to eat sounds perfectly fine and for now I would just continue as you are. He will lean out a few months into toddling around just like most babies do.

Just over 25lbs at 8 months does sound on the large side- is he mobile yet?

you say he is having 3 meals a day, how long has he been having that if he is only 8 months now?

You sound horrified that he is supposed not to be having snacks between meals- what sort of snacks would he usually have?

I find that HV are best ignored.

Looking at the charts on the royal college of paedetricians, he is above the 99 centile for height and between the 98 and 99.6 centile for weight. To me that looks like he is the absolute correct weight for his height and your health visitor is being a bit of a daft cow. Ignore. charts

and this is why HVs are optional and you can opt out of the system

they think the child is theirs and you MUST do what they say and get told off if you dont follow the book like a sheep

My DD is a year and while she's not on the same percentiles, she definitely gained quite a bit at that stage of weaning and that was despite her crawling at around 6m. She started walking around 9/10m and now at a year she's really dropped weight despite her appetite going up. I think it's normal that they bulk a bit at this age and as long as they are following their centiles roughly then I wouldn't worry.

Given he's off the charts, I would cut back a little but not by half personally.

Underfeeding to stunt growth hardly sounds healthy.

Cutting back on too much food when a child is overweight for height isn't ''stunting growth'' though..it is reducing stored supplies of fat.

See a proper dietician, OP.
Eating habits are learned young.
65 grammes of porridge seems a lot with all the other stuff.

OP my husband and I are the same heights as you and yours. We have very tall children and one was also very fat as a baby - ebf for a year I might add so definitely not overfed. The rolls came off as soon as he started walking and he’s now a tall, solidly built little boy who’s going to be a big muscly man like his father. I wouldn’t worry for one second.

Wow. I've not heard from health visitor since my daughter was 6 weeks. She's 6 months now! Mind you if they are all going to trash talk maybe it's best they don't bother us. I thought they were still furloughed or something. Hmmmmn. Not sure if I'm annoyed or not that they seemed to have abandoned us.

@JeanMichelBisquiat

Sorry, bit hopeless of me: trying again www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2818981/

I'm not saying all tall babies are obese - obviously, some babies will just naturally be tall. However, the thinking is that obesity in early childhood can manifest in height growth as well as weight growth. I'm no expert, but have heard this enough times from various sources to think it worth mentioning here.

But I'm not saying all tall babies are/will be obese. And you'll see I specifically told the OP not to change anything without expert advice (which I agree would be unlikely to involve underfeeding in the way the HV suggested).

I think this ^^ is worth considering. My DS1 was on the 98th centile for height and weight from soon after birth, but based on his genetics he was “too tall”. He was very fat, no doubt about it, and was at least a head taller than all his classmates until mid teens when they started to catch up. He’s now an adult, 6ft 1 (so not unusually tall), very strong build, muscular and yes a bit overweight still. He’s a real outlier in our family and I know I over fed him. He was placid, easy and loved his food! OP, don’t take it to heart, but equally don’t let it get away from you.

Ignore ignore ignore. Not met a HV yet that knows anything about child rearing.

Ignore that terrible advice!! If he's only off the scales a bit, he's not that out of proportion!! He's top centile for height too.

My DS was the exact same, although just below top centile for height. He walked at 9 months and is getting leaner by the day. Someone has to be top centile and provided there isn't a huge difference in centiles for height and weight, it's proportionate. Loads comes off itself when they start moving. Please ignore

Totally ignore as long as baby is happy, meeting milestones and is eating healthy food.
My experience of health visitors is inconsistent advice which sometimes is wrong - i have a podgy baby too at about the same age as yours and I'm pleased! He has a great appetite and eats a whole range of foods. The only difference is that he is breastfed so I'm not sure of how that translates compared to formula.

As its your first you just lack a bit of confidence, learn to nod and smile as its not worth the argument with them. As long as he's following a consistent ish centile then it doesnt matter - you won't see her again so put it out your head

Hi there, my DS was like this, Once they start moving they will slim down but it carries on. They get weighed and measured in Primary school and then you get letters warning about obesity. If they are eating a mainly healthy diet, avoiding too many processed foods then they will usually be fine in my view.

My DS is almost 14 now and a slim almost 6 foot. His build is broad though like his Dad. Those charts are a blunt instrument.

You poor thing. I can't believe she said she was horrified. By what? A healthy, chunky, happy baby? Fucking madness. Tell her to fuck off and feed your baby healthy balanced meals so he is content and not sobbing from hunger.