Should I ignore the HV?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Health Visitor came round to visit DS (8mths) this week for a general check up.

She said (in her own words) how "horrified" she was to see the size of DS. He's always been on 99.6th centile in both length (now 78cm) and weight, but since being weaned he's tipped slightly off the charts in weight to just over 25lbs. She me feel about 2 inches tall and gave me a proper rollicking for "over feeding" DS.

He used to have around 500mls of formula three times a day, porridge (65g) for breakfast and home cooked dinners with veg (around 100g) for lunch and dinner. No snacks, apart from some chopped up fruit when he was a bit grumpy.

Her advice is I need to cut all of this in half. Two bottles (150ml each) only on waking and bedtime, 32g of porridge, 50g of food for lunch and dinner. What's worse, is that she wants us to go from lunchtime at 11.45am until dinner at 5pm with nothing in between?

Because she made me feel so small and being a FTM, we followed her advice for a few days, but DS is understandably inconsolable and is sobbing with hunger most of the day. He is waking up in the night (despite sleeping through) and takes ages to get back to sleep.

My gut tells me I should probably cut down a bit, but not to the extent she wants us too. Surely there has to be a happy medium? AIBU to ignore her?

Oh my goodness OP that’s ridiculous! She doesn’t know your child and I bet you she doesn’t know how tall your DH is. He’s eating all healthy food and kids don’t overeat, unless they’re being fed junk which is addictive and doesn’t fill you up. I would carry on as you are. And to the poster who said fat babies turn into fat adults... that’s so wrong!!!

I would take note of what she's saying as she's trained and sees a lot of babies. However, both of my babies were very big and I was berated every visit and quizzed about what I fed them. To the point, I stopped visiting the hv with my 2nd child because I was getting so upset. Both of my children were in the 90 to 100 centile range when they were born and followed the curve. They are both beautiful and have absolutely no weight issues now (they would still be beautiful even of they did). A fat baby does not make a fat adult and vice versa. Promote healthy eating and an active lifestyle.

If you've got concerns speak to GP that might get her off your back. DS1 was 99th centile at that age. He's now a very tall preschooler. 75th For weight now. He basically lost it when he started walking.
My HV also suggested a 'diet' (DS1was ebf). The Gp told me not to worry and when HV called me to check progress I told her GP had no concerns and I would be taking my advice from the GP going forward. If she didn't like it she was welcome to discharge us. Meek as a mouse she was... apparently i had misunderstood her. Yeah right!

Don’t worry OP some of these HV are utter battleaxes who should just retire IMO. Their outdated views are of yesteryear and they don’t seem to be willing (or capable) of updating their knowledge or skills. Newly trained HV are Midwives/Nurses with a Masters degree and likely have far better people skills. Your 8 month old baby sounds like his height and weight are perfectly in sync and tbh 500mls of formula over 3 feeds is not a huge amount. I breast fed my 4DC and never measured it but I’m pretty sure they were having more than that! Carry on doing what you’re doing. He’ll drop a centile when he starts to crawl anyway.

I had some amazing health visitors and some absolutely useless ones. Absolutely trust your gut instinct but seek GPs advice if you feel you need it. As other people have said as long as it's healthy food it will only do good and your child will eat what they need. I can't remember the formula guidelines now but would think think that if your child is getting adequate solids and fluid you might be able to start reducing that but look into it before doing so. Also if it's a healthy, varied diet do you really need to offer vitamins? I'm not saying dont but they may not be needed. Trust your instinct.

Not read other replies but wanted to add some support for you @marvellousmaplesyrup

My friends baby was 99 centile and a big chunky boy who loved his food. She always worried about him being 'fat' as he was much bigger than babies his age.
One day we were at a playgroup and a lady had a baby a couple of months older than ours and he was the size of my friends baby and mine put together! He was massive and I must add bloody gorgeous! Anyway we got talking and she'd had HV like yours saying the same and others saying don't worry. Thankfully she didn't worry and fed him what he wanted/ what she thought.
Saw her at a Christmas party 2 years later and her boy was stick thin!

Honestly please don't do what she said.
The only thing I'd say is ensure there's plenty of veggies and use healthy snacks rather than a biscuit etc.

I bet your boy is beautiful- a chunky baby is much more munchy! Enjoy him.

I am a nanny (34 years and counting) and a maternity nurse and sleep consultant. I also have done various food safety and preparation course that include healthy eating and diet.

He needs his formula, this has all the nutrients that he needs to grow and learn.

100g for his meals is a little high but I’d only cut it down by 25g. What are his meals made up of and what quantities?

Most of my charges have been chubby but not a single one is over weight now. Although the eldest is 35 soon and I think he’s going through middle aged spread! To be fair, he has always been a keen sports man but he recently had a child and isn’t getting out as much.

I have come across a lot of HV’s in my career, some are amazing, some of them are not. I’ve also known a lot of HV’s who were not good pre their own children and so much better once they had had their own! It’s so easy to know the answers from a book but not all children are the same!!

I do love a squidgy baby!

Bloody HV. Ignore. How helpful of her to say she was horrified! Classic hv sensitivity and support in my experience.
Don't worry you ill soon be shot of her.