Should I ignore the HV?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Health Visitor came round to visit DS (8mths) this week for a general check up.

She said (in her own words) how "horrified" she was to see the size of DS. He's always been on 99.6th centile in both length (now 78cm) and weight, but since being weaned he's tipped slightly off the charts in weight to just over 25lbs. She me feel about 2 inches tall and gave me a proper rollicking for "over feeding" DS.

He used to have around 500mls of formula three times a day, porridge (65g) for breakfast and home cooked dinners with veg (around 100g) for lunch and dinner. No snacks, apart from some chopped up fruit when he was a bit grumpy.

Her advice is I need to cut all of this in half. Two bottles (150ml each) only on waking and bedtime, 32g of porridge, 50g of food for lunch and dinner. What's worse, is that she wants us to go from lunchtime at 11.45am until dinner at 5pm with nothing in between?

Because she made me feel so small and being a FTM, we followed her advice for a few days, but DS is understandably inconsolable and is sobbing with hunger most of the day. He is waking up in the night (despite sleeping through) and takes ages to get back to sleep.

My gut tells me I should probably cut down a bit, but not to the extent she wants us too. Surely there has to be a happy medium? AIBU to ignore her?

@bookgirl1982 just throwing my two pennies in... a formula fed baby can be over fed, quite easily. Over feeding is then likely to lead to over eating.

[quote CostaCosta]@bookgirl1982 just throwing my two pennies in... a formula fed baby can be over fed, quite easily. Over feeding is then likely to lead to over eating.[/quote]
Agreed... it.makes them hungrier as their stomachs have got bigger.

I'm assuming you know all the tricks like never making him finish a bottle etc?

She might have been harsh and drastic with her messaging, but it does surprise me that people see no qualms with babies being so high on centile charts. It's true that so much can change as they get older but I am noticing how many VERY large and chubby toddlers there are around and it is just being normalised. I truly feel we gush over fat babies, sometimes to the detrement of the babies who grow up to have very large appetites.

OP, it's the luck of the draw with HVs in my opinion. Perhaps take what she said with a pinch of salt, but don't ignore completely.

I had an 11lb 13oz baby and the hv was forever talking to me about his weight. I'm not sure what she was expecting to happen when he was born massive. Image talked me into referring him to the paediatricians twice about his weight and twice they wrote back saying that he was a completely normal baby. He's 10 now and like a bean pole!

If it's any consolation, you get the same level of shit when they're at the other end of the chart too.

DC2 was a dream baby and slept 9pm to 7am from birth* so the HV kept telling me that I had to wake her up in the night to feed her. We tried and she would not wake up enough to feed, she liked to sleep (still does). When she started walking her weight dropped down a centile putting her right near the bottom of the chart and old-school HV had me weighing her plates after meals to see how much she had eaten, adding butter and cream to everything, telling me to increase her portions even though she wouldn't eat any extra and to give her snacks even though she wouldn't eat snacks. Lovely HV took over in the midst of this as we changed GP surgery and she told me it was fine, that DD was eating to her own appetite and was growing, the dip had just been due to her getting mobile.

*please don't think I'm smug for having a sleeping baby, it was pure luck and DC3 made up for it by not sleeping right through the night until he was 3.

If you decide to reduce the food then do so gradually rather than halve it overnight. It's the relation between height and weight so it might be worth asking for an appointment with a GP (and still evaluate what they say).

FWIW, I wouldn't follow this HV's advice based on height and weight percentiles.

Good luck.

Did you mean 65g porridge ? I only have 30-40g
Perhaps I’m misunderstanding
The thing is people can become blind to their children’s portions or weight/size. IF there are any concerns now it often takes a third party to point it out, and better to get it under control now rather than struggle later

If he's on a similar percentile for hight and weight I'd ignore her and carry on. As long as you're making sure it's a healthly diet and giving him the opportunity to be active it all sounds good to me.

Is that 500ml of milk x 3 a day? That seems a lot - guidelines are 700-900ml at that age.
I imagine the HV wouldn't be horrified if he looked healthy for his centiles, it seems like he looked very overweight.
What is your own bmi like?

@Sertchgi123 health visitors are highly trained nurses/midwives, really? Mine must have slipped through the net then, because she told me that she had been a nursery worker for three years previously, she also told me that the mmr vaccine would have prevented my child from catching chicken pox.

I’m really not sure that cutting back baby’s milk or cutting out food is necessarily the best idea without consulting a medical professional first. I’d ignore what your HV is saying, and like another poster said, instead ask for a referral to a pediatric dietician and go from there.

Completely ignore. My dd was a chubby chubster at 8 months, she adores food. She 2 now, after being in nursery for over a year she's now perfectly in proportion for her age, all the running around and activities. I wouldn't cut it down by half. X

Apologies, just read it was 500ml over the whole day!

Another one saying ignore them. Totally useless. And I agree they're likely to be the shit nurses that the ward manager doesn't want on the team.

My son at that age was bigger than yours for both, he eats the same Amount and drinks more milk too.
They have/had no concerns and he is well proportioned (and bloody perfect) ... so for that reason ignore her.
And to the tithead who said fat babies make fat adults. It’s a fucking baby. Here’s a grip for you.

@chrisprattsface tithead 😂😂😂😂😂😂

We are combi feeding - mainly via a spoon but chop up bits of veg/meat etc for his high chair tray so he can feed himself.

From what I saw from MIL spoon feed can also easily be over done so maybe do more self feeding.

I'd cut down a little gradually and keep on eye on weight/height ratio and see if crawling and moving more has an impact - and see GP if you are worried.

But as Bearfrills says there can be shit other end of chart - my babies were born big and bf and moved early so came down the weight pecentiles and I was made to feel awful for that despite no other concerns.

500mls is the recommended amount of formula at that age so yes I'd ignore her. My ds was 21lbs at 23 weeks before we even started on solid foods. He is now a tall slim 13 year old.

As solids increase milk will decrease naturally and by the time they are 1year old they only need about 300/350mls of milk

Is that 65g prepared weight porridge or 65g oats? 65g of oats would be a huge amount for an 8month old and a very big volume for their tummy.

Same thing happened with my dd. She went off the charts about that age. 99% for height but about an inch above the chart for weight. I knew my hv really well though and she knew I wasn't over feeding and was still bf so she trusted me completely. Got to about 12m and the hv referred us for our own peace of mind and paediatrician just kept saying 'you just feed her too much' was frustrating but when we seen a nutritionist with a full food diary in hand she was just as baffled as we were. Anyway, she's 10 now and fine. She is 5'6 tho but not fat in anyway. She has the same build as me. I'm 16.5 stone but only a size 14. Just the way we're built unfortunately. I've opted out of the routine weighing for my daughter now.

Every HV I’ve met has no medical training. My general rule is always ignore the HV.

yep ignore the experts the one who spent years training and learning about child nutrition because of that cliche saying "you know your child best". FFS

That’s a hell of a lot of porridge. An adult serving is 30g isn’t it? When you’re eating it with fruit.

@Twillow

Is that 500ml of milk x 3 a day? That seems a lot - guidelines are 700-900ml at that age. I imagine the HV wouldn't be horrified if he looked healthy for his centiles, it seems like he looked very overweight. What is your own bmi like?

I did correct my OP with one immediately underneath - he used to have 500ml of milk over the course of a day. Not 3 times a day.

I'm 40 and have a BMI of 26. I'm 5'8 and DH is 6'3"

Both my boys were over the highest percentile by the time they were six months. HV gave me a right lecture about my oldest son, said I should stop his milk and start giving him desserts instead??? Public health nurse with youngest son said just to feed him what he wants and give him as much formula as he needs as he is a fast grower so is obviously going to be hungry. I just kept doing what I was doing and now I have two beautifully slim but very tall boys. Did she take his height? I think a lot of the time they just obssess about the percentile without actually looking at the baby. It really put me off going to see the HV, as long as he is eating healthy things I'd say let him enjoy his food and formula.