Should I ignore the HV?

[marvellousmaplesyrup]

Health Visitor came round to visit DS (8mths) this week for a general check up.

She said (in her own words) how "horrified" she was to see the size of DS. He's always been on 99.6th centile in both length (now 78cm) and weight, but since being weaned he's tipped slightly off the charts in weight to just over 25lbs. She me feel about 2 inches tall and gave me a proper rollicking for "over feeding" DS.

He used to have around 500mls of formula three times a day, porridge (65g) for breakfast and home cooked dinners with veg (around 100g) for lunch and dinner. No snacks, apart from some chopped up fruit when he was a bit grumpy.

Her advice is I need to cut all of this in half. Two bottles (150ml each) only on waking and bedtime, 32g of porridge, 50g of food for lunch and dinner. What's worse, is that she wants us to go from lunchtime at 11.45am until dinner at 5pm with nothing in between?

Because she made me feel so small and being a FTM, we followed her advice for a few days, but DS is understandably inconsolable and is sobbing with hunger most of the day. He is waking up in the night (despite sleeping through) and takes ages to get back to sleep.

My gut tells me I should probably cut down a bit, but not to the extent she wants us too. Surely there has to be a happy medium? AIBU to ignore her?

My nephew was a huge baby - long and fat. He slimmed right down in toddler hood and has been tall and slim ever since.

Personally OP I wouldnt be too concerned although if keep an eye on his weight over the next 12 months or so. By 2 you'd expect to see his weight percentile be considerably below his height percentile, in children they are not supposed to match.

@orangenasturtium sorry I didn’t mean for length, I’d seen that post. I meant for weight

Given that her DH and OP are tall then it makes sense that her DS would be tall and therefore likely on a higher weight percentile.

If he was happy before but crying with hunger now, then I would ignore her and carry on as you were.

OPs & partners height etc are similar to mine & DH. DS is over the 90th for height and eats well, has never been over 75th for weight. Some of the babies who are very large as babies will outgrow it, however given current rates of obesity probably as many or more don't. The HV has a broader public health role & will be seeing a lot of large babies turning into chubby toddlers turning into overweight kids.

My son looked like the Michelin man, literally. Now is a tall skinny 6 year old!

I would ignore. I don’t believe that a baby of that age would overeat. It seems as though he is simply tall with a big build. If he’s eating the food, he needs it.

1st DD was born 8lb 6oz - first hv visit was told to get rid of our 2 cats, [and furniture]

2nd DD was born 11lb 15 ozs [...] was huge! - got told by hv she was grossly overweight!

hospital who looked at family history (my nan had twins, born naturally, both over 15lbs)

I think we had the same HV Mine told me to get rid of the cats, change the teatowels twice a day, sterilise toys and that PFB was overweight with lots of dire threats etc.

As a first time parent I dutifully went to GP who pointed out that large, long babies ran in both families and that so long as he was healthy and I wasn't feeding him on doughnuts the weight would drop once he was walking. She also said made the point that HVs tick boxes based on averages and very small/very tall PFBs were rergularly in her surgery for no reason other than HV scaring the life out of the parents.

I ignored HV with the second and subsequents beyond the minimum visits to avoid be flagged as a problem.

I have only read your resposes but I promise you if you'd seen a different HV their advice would have been different!
Plus once he starts crawling you'll find that his growth will slow as he will be alot more active.
So long as you are feeding him healthy meals and he's sleeping well I would hold out on making any changes until he's mobile

With my second dd whose weight pick up was really slow according to one HV, I was told to have her weighed fortnightly only to be told off by another HV that as a parent of 4 children I should know she doesn't need weighing every two weeks!
I pointed out to her her colleagues instructions and she told me there was nothing to worry about, her weight gain was slow but not to worry about it.
I stopped going completely after then and even before covid my youngest who is 1 has never been to a weigh in session. She eats well and sleeps well and that's enough for me

Omg the comments on here!!!

My boys were both bloody Buddhas as babies fat rolls all over the shop! they are still eating me out of house and home, but both fit and healthy, they are both slim but fit...
both had to be weaned at 5 months because they were drinking 7 bottles a day 7oz each!

My health visitor asked if I was feeding my baby chocolate because he used to gain a pound a week. He was exclusively breastfed. There was much teeth sucking and mutters about monitoring his weight gain.
Then I moved house and clinics and the new clinic measured him as well as weigh him and declared him perfectly in proportion. He was on the 99.6th percentile for both and then rose off the charts. He is now 20 and a lovely slim 6 foot 8! He was a massive baby because he was destined to be a massive adult!

@Truzza , that's boys! 😂

I remember my sister visiting from Australia with her two sons, aged 7 and 9. I had them for a few days to do london etc, I honestly thought they had a problem the amount they ate (very slim though), then I had two of my own....

[quote Corono]@Truzza , that's boys! 😂

I remember my sister visiting from Australia with her two sons, aged 7 and 9. I had them for a few days to do london etc, I honestly thought they had a problem the amount they ate (very slim though), then I had two of my own.... [/quote]
They do eat like horses all day! 😂

But seems me days they don't eat much but I just think fine I do the same not hungry don't eat...

Bloomin health visitor questioned me about 6 years ago with my last child so judgemental....! I went to my Gp who told me to ignore her as she had 4 boys and they were ravenous little things! Fed is best

That kind if September when life was slow and sooo mellow....

Oops wrong thread sorry!

Usually its double birth weight by 6 months and triple by a year. What weight was he when he was born?

To use a lovely phrase that the Aboriginies used in Australia
"He's just got plenty of drought reserve on him"

Enjoy your baby and don't let this spoil your enjoyment of feeding him.

@Mollyboom not a great example given that childhood obesity is a massive, massive problem in aborigine populations...

ok point taken- I just used to like the phrase,and i heard it there. I quite often use it about myself. It was meant to be light hearted, and not in any way to reference the demographics of the aboriginal population. I

I’ve met very few health visitors that haven’t made me feel small.
One in particular I used to avoid as she always said something negative. I had some advice from her once, came away feeling like I was failing & had to do as she said. Had an unrelated gp appointment that afternoon & asked her advice. She said we were doing absolutely fine & to ignore what I’d been told earlier.
I also spent the last 2 weeks of maternity leave trying to sleep train my youngest which was never going to work. Wish I’d ignored that one 🤦‍♀️

My HV freaked me out so much during my 8 week check that I swore I was never letting her back in my house. She made me feel like I was being interviewed to see did I know about all the ways I could fail and kill my child. I had been around children all my life. I knew what I was doing. She made me feel about 2 inches tall and turned my PND and psychosis up to 100. She kept saying "well you are a first time mom with no support system so we have to be aware of these things". I became so paranoid they were watching me that I refused to even bring DD to be weighed. She wasnt weighed til her 1 year check up. I know they cant all be bad, but I am pregnant with DD2 now and I am already feeling on the defensive about another one coming in.

Just as predicted!

Ignore the HV OP.

I know several people who had this exact issue with their health visitors and in each case it turned out that the “overweight baby” was in fact trying to bulk up to prepare for a growth spurt, because later those children all grew very tall (and not overweight).

There seems to be some problem with the health visitor training on this, they don’t seem to understand what very tall children look like when they are babies.

My DS was a big baby 10lb 5oz at birth, he weighed 30lb at 11 months, he had just started walking at that point, he is now 6ft tall & 11 stone, I really wouldn’t take any notice at all, your little one will lose weight the more active they get crawling walking etc...

Ignore. I was repeatedly told one of mine was fat. He was. Gloriously so. As healthy babies should be. He was also tall. His fatness did not turn into obesity. He grew tall and sporty and has enjoyed a fabulous four years as a GB athlete so he turned out ok despite the HV lecturing me about my apparently fatty beast milk. Having also had a child who was seriously underweight, give me a chubby bubba any day of the week. Once your baby is running around and doing sports all will be fine.