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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Life is less exciting as we age - AIBU?

121 replies

GettingUntrapped · 12/09/2020 21:16

A few days ago I was chatting to an acquaintance and when I said I was feeling a bit bored, he replied that this is to be expected, because as we get older, there are naturally fewer things to be excited about in life. He implied this was his experience. He's about 60.

I've been thinking about this and wonder that with the reduction of sex hormones etc as we age, well, things change, energy changes. I'm 54, but don't really want to give up yet.

Does life just naturally get less exciting around my age? I hate the idea of settling.

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 12/09/2020 22:41

Nearly 60 and before this virus I did try to get out at least once per week.
Whether it was the theatre.
Or just lunch out in town with friends.
Just something to look forward to.

I have struggled with the latter part of lockdown and the fact that my world has shrunk and will not be the same for a long time. That I can’t go online and see what is coming up/going on and book something.

It didn’t have to be an expensive West End show, just some Am Dram out of town play or a band that friends of dd play in, In a local pub where I would meet up with their parents and have a catch up.

I sort of feel you have to make an effort to go if you can.
As we have got older some of our friends our age seem to have got much older as their world has shrunk

lljkk · 12/09/2020 22:41

No, what OP wrote is wrong - easily entertained is right. Our dopamine receptors change and we like boring things more; boring things become exciting enough due to age. Or rather, toddlers & old people feel just as excited about simple things. Due to hormone-flooded brains Teenagers can only get excited about truly nutty crazy stuff (dopamine receptors again).

But If you're bored, go skydiving (or do something risky). Life should only be as boring as you can still find fun. You are allowed to seek unboring activity.

Danni290 · 12/09/2020 22:49

@Lovely1a2b3c thank you. I don't think I need more excitement I go out all the time and do so much socially. I do lack purpose and I also feel I have a chemical imbalance that I need medication for but due to other medical conditions I can't take any right now.

Thanks for advice though and sorry to highjack the thread!

Jaxhog · 12/09/2020 22:57

I'm in my 60s and don't find life boring! You just have to find fun and interesting things to do.

BackforGood · 12/09/2020 23:01

I'm mid 50s and certiainly not bored, and nor do I feel life is somehow over or that i'm on a downwards trajectory.
We're about to take our youngest to University.
We're financially in the best position we've been so far in our lives, with more time and more flexibility that we've ever had. Our horizons okay, not accounting for COVID have just opened up enormously.

Agree, it does depend what you mean by 'exciting', but diagree about life being boring.

Straven123 · 12/09/2020 23:06

I made the mistake of constantly looking forward to when such and such happens life will be better - a big mistake, I should have done more to enjoy and appreciate the present, approaching old age certainly makes you sit up and make the most of each day.

workit · 12/09/2020 23:08

life is what you make it mostly I think!! It's a mindset mostly, of course there will be times that it's hard or not going your way etc etc but mostly it's what you choose to do that makes it what it is!!

Danni290 · 12/09/2020 23:14

But what if you lead what most would consider 'exiting life' and still feel bored. Where do you go from there to posters saying it's what you make it.

Danni290 · 12/09/2020 23:14

*exciting

EstuaryBird · 12/09/2020 23:15

I’m 65 and (pre Covid) my life is bloody great. I go to lots of gigs and still camp at Festivals. I go out with friends...for coffee or lunch or long walks. I’m a Cub Leader and hike and camp with them and the Scouts. DH loves cruising holidays and I love the sea so that suits us both. I do a fair bit of voluntary work locally. If I have nothing else to do I go for a long walk because I can’t stand spending a whole day indoors.

Life is what you make it...if you allow your world to get small and boring then it will happen quickly and is hard to get out of. Just keep doing what you love and always look out for something new. I ended up being ‘conned’ into Cubs when I retired 3 years ago and although I wasn’t keen I thought I’d give it a go and I’ve enjoyed every minute.

Now I’m just praying for Covid to bugger off so that I can get back to doing everything I love 😊

blueshoes · 12/09/2020 23:15

I am in my early 50s and feel I am finally hitting my stride. My dcs are teenagers and will leave home soon. Financially, we have always been conservative and will pay off our massive mortgage in 2 years. Once the dcs are off to university, I can focus on my work and then gradually move into a quieter life workwise as I wind down for retirement.

We have good pensions and savings and I cannot wait for retirement, having always worked hard at school, then career and not taken my foot off the pedal my whole life. I want to enjoy the security and contentment of less hurried and jam-packed stressful life that is now cresting.

Sophiafour · 12/09/2020 23:16

After a reasonably dramatic (though not easy) first 5 decades, I'm happy to take boring. Besides, we're living through "interesting" times, as the saying has it, and just watching that unfold is enough drama, thanks. I don't think the drama's going to get any less over the next 30 years...(or however long I've got left. That's based on family expectancy).

Agree with others that having a chat with your GP might be an idea.

ssd · 12/09/2020 23:17

I can't think of anything worse than an exciting life. Imagine the pressure, and the expense?

ssd · 12/09/2020 23:20

Oh god all these smug posters telling us how fab fab fab their lives are with their big savings pots and lots of me time. AT LAST!!!

MN at its finest.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 12/09/2020 23:24

Hmmm we're middle aged with shit savings and non existent pensions.

I wonder if the future is more attractive to those "comfortable " as they put it.

Gladgreengrass · 12/09/2020 23:26

Once people have lived a bit and experienced illness, bereavement, family issues, work issues etc, financial struggles, I don't think the majority crave excitement as they age, I think they crave more and more independence and autonomy and control over their lives. I'm in my mid-fidties and I know I crave freedom from obligation but I don't want excitement. I've had enough stress to last a lifetime; so I don't want more ups and downs. That's not to say I don't have interesting plans and projects on the go though.

Pixxie7 · 12/09/2020 23:27

It’s down to the individual life can be as boring or exiting as you make it.

CherryPavlova · 12/09/2020 23:28

No. Life becomes much more fun when all pressure to conform has been removed through age. You can have more fun, do more interesting things, travel more, giggle until sunrise or you can stay in bed, read the papers and eat chocolate for breakfast. Nobody tells you off. All decisions are entirely your own. That’s real excitement. New dresses, riding a motorbike or doing a bungee jump are nothing compared to the freedom of late middle age.

Pinkmakeupbag · 12/09/2020 23:29

I'm in my 30s, married with dc, live a pretty boring life by most people's standards.

But I still get really child like excited about so much. Little things like watching my dc play sports, Friday nights putting my feet up with Dh, little UK breaks, daytrips, shopping on a Saturday afternoon and treating myself or one of the dc, a rare meal out and cinema trip child free.

There is so much pleasure in life if you look for it. A good book, a tv show you enjoy, doing a sport you like, going somewhere you've never been before.

I had a somewhat limited childhood so I wonder if I'm able to enjoy such things in a childlike way now.

DuesToTheDirt · 12/09/2020 23:31

Up to a point it's true. But we had holiday in Peru a couple of years ago, and I was hyper excited for the 6 months before, during the trip and the 6 months after. (I was probably insufferable!)

Someone9 · 12/09/2020 23:35

It's the lack of possibilities isn't it? When you're young it's all in front of you and you (naively) think it's going to be so amazing and the best is yet to come. That lends an excitement and idealism to life that wanes with experience!

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 12/09/2020 23:36

Not exciting doesn't have to mean boring though does it. A lot to be said for contentment. A nice walk, trip to the beach, good book, glass of wine, friendship with the dh, none of which are exciting but make for a lovely life.

F1ng3r12345 · 12/09/2020 23:38

I totally disagree

I believe that there is always something to get excited about

This week I read an article about a use of some technology, that I didn't know existed & I thought wow !

I've got something organised to do on my days off work, so I am looking forward to that

There is always something new to learn

New things to try, people to meet, places to go, things to create

It was warm & sunny today & I enjoyed that too

LaurieFairyCake · 12/09/2020 23:38

I feel completely free

But I don't really want to do anything anymore apart from potter about Confused

I don't believe in travelling anymore because of the environment and I'm trying really hard to only replace things that are broken and not shop for pleasure (I'm shit at this)

Danni290 · 12/09/2020 23:39

Hmm I really love the optimism on this thread. I just cannot get excited about like like OP.

It's just full of BS to be honest, not being smug but I have a very 'good' life by societies standards and still just think what's the point most days. I get up go to work pray for the weekends - go to a restaurant, have a glass of wine do all the things posters suggested and still feel meh.

I just don't see what could change that feeling either.