Bus weirdo! Should I have moved?

[Baternburg]

Was on the bus home from town with my DS, almost 1 year. We’d gone in to buy supplies for his birthday cake. On the bus there is a space for wheelchairs/buggies so I put the buggy there as usual and sat down on the little fold down seat next to it, and started to give baby a bottle as he was getting hungry.
I get a tap on the shoulder and turn round to see a man, no mask on, smelling of booze, telling me I can’t sit there as I’m sitting too close to him. Now, there were perhaps 6 other people on the bus and it was a double decker, so plenty of space where he could have moved. I said to him ‘no, I’m feeding my baby’ and turned around back to face pram. Get another tap and turned round, said ‘can you stop touching me’ and turned back around. Man then says again I need to move, 2 metres distance etc. Again without a mask on. I say ‘I’m not moving at the moment as I’m feeding my baby’. He then attempts to fold up my chair WHILE I’m sitting on it. I said again ‘don’t touch me’ and turned away again because I could see him getting agitated and I didn’t want a scene or want things to escalate, even though I wanted to call him a miserable bastard. He then says he’s going to tell the driver, and gets up and over to the driver. Old lady across from us has a go at him as well. The driver tells me there is another seat on the other side of the buggy so I can turn the buggy around. I didn’t realise this seat was there as it’s also a fold up one and it’s kind of folded into a wheelchair pad thing so looks like it’s just part of that. So I do go and sit there l, again I’m not wanting to make a scene or stoop to the weirdo’s level. As I’m leaving the bus the bus driver thanks me for moving and apologises, says if someone spoke to his wife like that he’d give them a swift punch.

So my question is should I have moved in this situation and was I being unreasonable for sitting closer to the man in order that I could sit next to the buggy to give baby a bottle?

@Ilovechinese that post of yours is disgusting.

You were being unreasonable. You shouldn’t have sat so near him. You’ve said yourself there were plenty of other seating options so you should have chosen one of those. Also, your attitude through these posts stinks.

I think bus companies should barricade off the seats nearest to spaces for wheelchair users to protect them, but that’s wheelchair users, not people who have choices about which spaces to utilise.

... and you were the weirdo on the bus, not him.

Old lady

I dont think you were being unreasonable. Would he have done the same to a disabled passenger than needed to sit there?
Surely the 2m radius around the priority seats is also prioritised to those using the seats. You need to use the buggy space, he didn't, he shouldn't have sat so close to that space as its needed by disabled and those with pushchairs more than him.

They do (where I am anyway) mark the space next to the wheelchair space as unusable, but I'd imagine if the wheelchair used had a family member with them they could sit in that seat. 'Barricading it' would mean that that couldn't happen.

When I'm sat in a seat reserved for older/infirm people or pregnant women and one gets on I give it up to them politely, I don't just tell them to fuck off because I was here first.
Of course you don't. There is indeed bus etiquette which nearly all bus users adhere to. It's in their interest to do so as it makes the journey smoother. I find these people very reasonable.

Then you get others who are less reasonable, refusing to move from wheelchair/buggy spaces/priority seats because they were there first. They're a pain in the arse to share a bus with. Buggy or not.

@waitforitwaitforit

I’m talking about the seats behind - so ‘barricading’ wouldn’t be an issue. Why you have an issue with a suggestion for protecting wheelchair users from people they don’t know doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Just looking for something to get worked up about.

I'm not sure why you think I'm getting worked up - for the most part I'm agreeing with you. I'm just making the point that any permanent restrictions on these seats (or 'barricades') would also disadvantage wheelchair users as it would mean their own companions couldn't sit with them.

YwNotBU OP. I can't believe the answers! In what world is a mother with a baby less entitled to some public space than a drunk man who keeps poking at other people?!! Yes, moms with young children sometimes seem too entitled to some other age or sex groups, but it is only because moms with young children have every right to feel entitled to special treatment, there is an evolutionary reason for this, their safety ACTUALLY IS more important than that of other people and it used to be reflected in all cultures. Insisting that the rights are equal for everyone at every stage of the life is wrong. Who can move easily should be grateful for that and move and make room for anyone who has some difficulty... of course!

Only on MN can a drunk man go around accosting and haranguing random women and have people defending him.

@Baternburg I think you're expecting a bit too much to be honest.. Don't know where you live but if that was London, you can forget it.. You went and sat near to him, he's then not going to think oh I need to get up and move because you're feeding your baby.. I've had to breastfeed standing up on a packed London underground train before and nobody offered me a seat, the difference was I didn't expect anyone to.. You went and sat down with expectation that someone else should cater for you.

Weirdo

Old lady

Didn't see other seat?

YABVU

[quote Puppy72]@Baternburg I think you're expecting a bit too much to be honest.. Don't know where you live but if that was London, you can forget it.. You went and sat near to him, he's then not going to think oh I need to get up and move because you're feeding your baby.. I've had to breastfeed standing up on a packed London underground train before and nobody offered me a seat, the difference was I didn't expect anyone to.. You went and sat down with expectation that someone else should cater for you.[/quote]

I think it's incredibly sad that you expect so little from other people. Maybe it's a London thing - I've had no experience of living in London - but where I'm from people are pretty accommodating when you have a buggy.

These are frightening times and fear is making a lot of people more aggressive than they would normally be.

Not an excuse, and he wasn't that frightened if he got so close he was trying to force the OPs chair up. Just a twat, using social distancing as an excuse to intimidate a woman with a young child.

@waitforitwaitforit it's definitely a London thing, I worked right up to 38.5 weeks pregnant because my job is so busy and demanding and was still taking the tube in, on a busy London underground train people aren't looking around, I never expected a seat.. If I got one I was thankful but I didn't get on public transport with that expectation or as others are saying.. Entitlement.

FWIW, I don't think OP is coming across entitled, I just genuinely think you expected too much from people.. This man was on the bus first, it wasn't down to him to move.. Irrespective of where you sat, what you were doing.. That's simply it. You wouldn't make people move tables in restaurants to accommodate your needs if they are there first.

@Puppy72 yep I think you’re right that there’s for sure a regional difference here. I’ve been to London several times and I’m always pretty shocked the way people treat each other on public transport. And just how unfriendly people are in general. It’s one of the reasons I’d never live there.

[quote Puppy72]@waitforitwaitforit it's definitely a London thing, I worked right up to 38.5 weeks pregnant because my job is so busy and demanding and was still taking the tube in, on a busy London underground train people aren't looking around, I never expected a seat.. If I got one I was thankful but I didn't get on public transport with that expectation or as others are saying.. Entitlement.[/quote]
I don't think it is entitlement though. I think pregnant women are more vulnerable than many others in society and should be treated as such. As are babies.

I've had to breastfeed standing up on a packed London underground train before and nobody offered me a seat, the difference was I didn't expect anyone to.

Every able bodied person in that carriage was totally unreasonable to remain seated while a woman had to nurse her child standing up. And you should have been able to expect that @Puppy72, for it is just human decency to give up a seat in such circumstances.

It's definitely a London thing.. If I lived in say for example.. Hampshire, I probably wouldn't have encountered that.. And I could probably expect people to be a bit kinder.. Where I've lived in London, worked in London.. I know what London people can be like. Its sad yes I do agree, but just the way it is.

Woah now, don't go having a go at Londoners. People always offer me (also a Londoner) a seat, but only when they see me.

YANBU OP.

@Puppy72

It's definitely a London thing.. If I lived in say for example.. Hampshire, I probably wouldn't have encountered that.. And I could probably expect people to be a bit kinder.. Where I've lived in London, worked in London.. I know what London people can be like. Its sad yes I do agree, but just the way it is.

They probably weren't Londoners but instead people from other other parts of the country, like Hampshire, who moved to London. Most born and bred Londoners are friendly, welcoming, and have good manners.

They probably weren't Londoners but instead people from other other parts of the country, like Hampshire, who moved to London. Most born and bred Londoners are friendly, welcoming, and have good manners.

Too right!

Actually, after I typed my previous post it occurred to me that one of my best friends is a Londoner and she's lovely! She'd definitely give her seat up for a pregnant lady, or someone with a buggy.