Bus weirdo! Should I have moved?

[Baternburg]

Was on the bus home from town with my DS, almost 1 year. We’d gone in to buy supplies for his birthday cake. On the bus there is a space for wheelchairs/buggies so I put the buggy there as usual and sat down on the little fold down seat next to it, and started to give baby a bottle as he was getting hungry.
I get a tap on the shoulder and turn round to see a man, no mask on, smelling of booze, telling me I can’t sit there as I’m sitting too close to him. Now, there were perhaps 6 other people on the bus and it was a double decker, so plenty of space where he could have moved. I said to him ‘no, I’m feeding my baby’ and turned around back to face pram. Get another tap and turned round, said ‘can you stop touching me’ and turned back around. Man then says again I need to move, 2 metres distance etc. Again without a mask on. I say ‘I’m not moving at the moment as I’m feeding my baby’. He then attempts to fold up my chair WHILE I’m sitting on it. I said again ‘don’t touch me’ and turned away again because I could see him getting agitated and I didn’t want a scene or want things to escalate, even though I wanted to call him a miserable bastard. He then says he’s going to tell the driver, and gets up and over to the driver. Old lady across from us has a go at him as well. The driver tells me there is another seat on the other side of the buggy so I can turn the buggy around. I didn’t realise this seat was there as it’s also a fold up one and it’s kind of folded into a wheelchair pad thing so looks like it’s just part of that. So I do go and sit there l, again I’m not wanting to make a scene or stoop to the weirdo’s level. As I’m leaving the bus the bus driver thanks me for moving and apologises, says if someone spoke to his wife like that he’d give them a swift punch.

So my question is should I have moved in this situation and was I being unreasonable for sitting closer to the man in order that I could sit next to the buggy to give baby a bottle?

He smelt of booze eh? Probably had a pie and a pint for lunch before getting the bus home. You're suggesting he was drunk, which isn't nice. You also assumed he would move to accommodate you - how arrogant and entitled. You also state he wasn't wearing a mask - but you don't know why, do you?

Don't call people weirdos because they don't fit in with your narrative.

@User3627290 god, thank you haha

There should be stickers on the insides of the windows next to seats like they have on the buses here. Green circles with a tick saying 'Take a Seat' and red circles with a cross on, so everyone knows where they can and can't sit.

I’m not sure how some of you experience buses
Yes because 3 pages of almost unanimous YABU and it’s all because we don’t know what a bus looks like.

@Lugubelenus I’m not suggesting he was drunk. He was drunk. I also didn’t assume he would move. I’m not sure where all these assumptions are coming from but that’s not the case. I said to him if he’s uncomfortable he could perhaps move as it’s difficult for me at that current time. But I wasn’t close enough to him that I was encroaching social distancing

YABU, he was there first and shouldn’t automatically be expected to move to accommodate you.

[quote Baternburg]@Temp123999 I definitely didn’t argue, I just told him no then turned away. Like I said I didn’t want to cause a scene[/quote]
You also didn't speak to him politely to ask if he would mind moving so you could sit by your buggy,

Lucky the driver was on his side

@RunningFromInsanity

I’m not sure how some of you experience buses Yes because 3 pages of almost unanimous YABU and it’s all because we don’t know what a bus looks like.

Quite. Or don't know the social mores regarding buggies, because only the OP and a pp have ever had to take a bus with one.

Both BU:

• you invaded his safe space
• he was not wearing a mask

No wonder this virus is gaining the upper hand again.

Another one who thinks having children entitles them to do as they please !

He may be exempt from wearing a mask.

Are previous posters completely incapable of reading?

OP didn’t ask him to move. She sat down, not beside him, and started feeding her baby. He then leaned over to tell her she should move, and then tried to fold up her seat when she wouldn’t comply. OP THEN suggested that if he was uncomfortable, he could move himself since she was feeding her baby.

Can we try, please, for a basic level of reading comprehension? Is that actually too much to ask?

@IntermittentParps

which right-minded unencumbered person wouldn’t just move to another seat if they wanted more space?

He might not have been 'unencumbered'. He might be unable to safely or comfortably stand up on a moving bus and move elsewhere.

OP, YABU, obviously.

I’m trying to visualise where the other seat was that you hadn’t come across before and hadn’t realised was there because seats in buses tend to be in the same locations. If your baby was that desperate for a bottle though, I will assume s/he is very young so perhaps you haven’t needed to use that area of a bus before.

I think it’s probably the rear facing one. The one with the high backrest that the wheelchair backs up against.

I don’t think YABU. If you were further than arms length away and he had to get out of his seat to tap you, you probably were far enough away in terms of SD rules on buses. And I think most people would have just got up and moved if they felt you were too close. It almost certainly would have been easier for him than bothering to go to the driver.

Do you look particularly young OP, or are you quite young?

I'm guessing he wasn't in the disabled seats, just close to them at the front. TBH if I was him I would have moved back because it is hard to move around a bus with a pram or young child.

However if I were you and he kicked up a fuss I would have asked more clearly and politely if he minded moving further back as I didn't want to leave the pushchair. I would have moved before he instructed the driver though.

I think a lot of people are struggling and a little understanding on both sides goes a long way.

@Mischance
Where did it say I invaded his space.
I sat with a space between us.

[quote Baternburg]@WorraLiberty
I literally did. I asked him. I said I’m feeding my baby, could you move. He proceeded to try folding my chair up while I’m sitting in it.[/quote]
@User3627290 she did ask him to move

@RafaIsTheKingOfClay
Yes that’s it. It’s kind of tucked in. I didn’t know it was a chair to be honest.
Yes I do look quite young, I still get ID’d. I’m also pretty soft spoken and hate confrontation haha

@butterpuffed

There should be stickers on the insides of the windows next to seats like they have on the buses here. Green circles with a tick saying 'Take a Seat' and red circles with a cross on, so everyone knows where they can and can't sit.

They took those off here when masks became compulsory. It allows them to get more people on the bus because you no longer have to be so far apart.

@Thisbastardcomputer what an assumption

[quote Baternburg]@Mischance
Where did it say I invaded his space.
I sat with a space between us.[/quote]
That wouldn't have been 2 metres though...

Having a baby does not automatically grant you some sort of special entitlement, you know?

Lucky the driver was on his side

Are people reading the posts ?

As I’m leaving the bus the bus driver thanks me for moving and apologises, says if someone spoke to his wife like that he’d give them a swift punch

YABU. You sat too close.

@user781210 read it again - after he had already told her she should move, she suggested he could be the one who moved instead since he was the one who was bothered, and she was 1) in a buggy space with a buggy and 2) feeding her baby.

Posters are acting like she stormed up to him and demanded that he move to accommodate her, but she didn’t interact with him at all until he told her she had to move.

I am truly baffled that people are finding this so hard to understand when it’s literally written down clear as day.

No you were fine OP, as evidenced by the other people that were actually there supporting you.