Bus weirdo! Should I have moved?

[Baternburg]

Was on the bus home from town with my DS, almost 1 year. We’d gone in to buy supplies for his birthday cake. On the bus there is a space for wheelchairs/buggies so I put the buggy there as usual and sat down on the little fold down seat next to it, and started to give baby a bottle as he was getting hungry.
I get a tap on the shoulder and turn round to see a man, no mask on, smelling of booze, telling me I can’t sit there as I’m sitting too close to him. Now, there were perhaps 6 other people on the bus and it was a double decker, so plenty of space where he could have moved. I said to him ‘no, I’m feeding my baby’ and turned around back to face pram. Get another tap and turned round, said ‘can you stop touching me’ and turned back around. Man then says again I need to move, 2 metres distance etc. Again without a mask on. I say ‘I’m not moving at the moment as I’m feeding my baby’. He then attempts to fold up my chair WHILE I’m sitting on it. I said again ‘don’t touch me’ and turned away again because I could see him getting agitated and I didn’t want a scene or want things to escalate, even though I wanted to call him a miserable bastard. He then says he’s going to tell the driver, and gets up and over to the driver. Old lady across from us has a go at him as well. The driver tells me there is another seat on the other side of the buggy so I can turn the buggy around. I didn’t realise this seat was there as it’s also a fold up one and it’s kind of folded into a wheelchair pad thing so looks like it’s just part of that. So I do go and sit there l, again I’m not wanting to make a scene or stoop to the weirdo’s level. As I’m leaving the bus the bus driver thanks me for moving and apologises, says if someone spoke to his wife like that he’d give them a swift punch.

So my question is should I have moved in this situation and was I being unreasonable for sitting closer to the man in order that I could sit next to the buggy to give baby a bottle?

There seems to be this culture of women on here who will bend over to fit the needs of the patriarchy to be seen as “cool”.

Indeed. Same as those determined to cede over women's protected single sex spaces because they don't personally mind sharing them with men, so to blazes with anyone else who does. No matter what the rationale of the (sound) arguments they present against it.

From the description given, OP was not in his space. On the contrary, he was encroaching into hers. An intoxicated, intimidating male who zones in on females and can't keep his hands to himself is a problem. I.e. HE is the problem.

Enabling this kind of BS and berating women as the ones continually expected to 'be nice' is far from 'cool'. It's pathetic.

Absolutely @MarieIVanArkleStinks thread I read yesterday about a mum being concerned about daughter at school with mixed sez toilets and boys shouting and banging on the toilet door while she was on the loo, and the 'cool crew' jumping in to say how fine they'd be about that!

Mixed sex not sez!

Your non answers tell me all I need to know you expected the “Drunk man” to move for you despite him being there first but you wouldn’t move for a mum who needed the space more because it’s impossible to remove two babies from a double buggy and fold it whilst it’s possible but not easy to do with one baby.

This is pure fantasy. How the hell did you ever manage to conjure up this absolute fiction?

I can’t tell you how weird you are being.

Sometimes Mumsnet is like the twilight zone. In what world is it ok for a drunk man to harass someone and then physically try to remove them from a seat!

Jesus - mumsnet is like the twilight zone on steroids sometimes 🤦🏻‍♀️

You seem very entitled OP and rather unpleasant, calling someone a weirdo.

Tillydoesnotgetit....

@Tillygetsit it is a bit wierd to try and fold someone up into their foldy seat on the bus. I mean, I weight 12 stone, not sure what he was expecting.

@Puppy72 @TitianaTitsling I suppose I’m confident in my self enough that I know for sure I’m not an entitled person nor have I ever been called entitled in my life, so I’m definitely taking some of the negative responses with a massive pinch of salt.

@Oncemorewithfeelin
It’s very very wierd haha

@Sanitisethat she seems fixed upon making this into a double buggy debate !

Oh god I’ve been called a Karen now

@Baternburg good for you I say, too many MN users just like to bully others, aside from the crappy negative, unhelpful, and abusive responses you've got some perspective on the situation.. I don't like seeing others abused.. Too many keyboard warriors unfortunately but I'm glad you're holding your own.

Ywbu
Pushing it initially, then difficult for not moving.

@Puppy72
Yep I probably should have just stood next to buggy. Just don’t like being repeatedly tapped on the shoulder and breathed on by men telling me what to do.

[quote Baternburg]@JalapenoDave
I seem to have been presented as that in this thread haven’t I.
I’m definitely not.[/quote]
Yes, that's definitely how you've been presented.
But, the last thing I want to do is cause any Internet arguments, especially as you have a young baby - life must be stressful enough as it is.
To be honest if it had been me sitting behind you (as a person with no children) I would have graciously moved, simply because it would have been easier for me to do so, rather than expect you to lug a baby around.
I reread your post and actually I don't think you were in the wrong. So I apologise for my previous post.

@Oncemorewithfeelin

Sometimes Mumsnet is like the twilight zone. In what world is it ok for a drunk man to harass someone and then physically try to remove them from a seat!

When that women had a buggy on a bus and it isn't folded down

[quote Baternburg]@Sanitisethat she seems fixed upon making this into a double buggy debate ![/quote]
I have one, everyone comments on how big it is. Like yeah, have you SEEN how BIG my TWO kids are??

@biscuitcakes

Ywbu Pushing it initially, then difficult for not moving.

Op has a hungry baby in a buggy and all her crap on said buggy. Driver isn't going to sit and wait whilst op loads up the kids, the bottle and her crap to find a seat that's suitably far enough away from everyone else on the bus bases on their individual opinions. It is t safe trying to do that whilst the bus is moving. Where exactly would you like her to have sat other than on her own seat delegate from the old man, which she did??

I think you're getting a massively hard time on here, and the 'Gosh, you're rude OP!' shit gives me the pip almost as much as the word 'grabby'. Bleurgh.

While I don't understand quite how you failed to identify the fold-down rear-facing seat as just that, and instead thought it was 'the disabled pad thing' unless you sat in the row directly in front of him - and it doesn't sound like you did, if he had to lean over to touch you - then you're not being U. You can't have a pram or buggy block the aisle/gangway, so those spots are indeed for mums with non-walking kids, and need only be given up for wheelchair users.

And it must be MN if a person smelling strongly of drink, who taps you repeatedly before trying to fold up a chair you're sitting on while you're feeding your baby, is afforded a whole raft of speculative reasons why his behaviour is just dandy ('He might have a clinical reason for sitting at the front!' 'He might have the kind of anxiety which manifests as trying to wrestle people out of their seats!') while you're castigated for suggesting he was drunk (he was!), calling him a weirdo (he is!), or wondering why a person so deathly afraid of Covid would apparently touch you more than I reckon I've touched my DP, lately.

I'm on your side.

Also, by identifying yourself as weighing 12 stone, be prepared for the "Are you 6 ft 6 ins, OP? Because you're horribly (🤢) overweight if not . . . "

Wow some answers here are incredible, she was seated next to her baby in a designated space. The man was approaching HER and the baby, making physical contact and invading HER space by trying to fold the seat while she was seating on it.
Are you people for real? Wouldn't you feel harassed by a stranger trying to do that while you're in a vulnerable position with a baby in your arms?
If that person was so adamant in social distance from OP why the hell did he get up went just next to her and touched her? It was a weirdo, and a rude one on top of that. He could seat wherever in the bus she only has that space for the pram. You either haven't been on a bus in your life , you have plenty of spaces for prams in your village's buses or you have just had a vinegar shot in order to be so sour. What a vipers nest you make... disgraceful

@FOKKYFC

Also, by identifying yourself as weighing 12 stone, be prepared for the "Are you 6 ft 6 ins, OP? Because you're horribly (🤢) overweight if not . . . "

true dat!

@FOKKYFC I’ve been trying to find a picture online of said ‘hard to find’ seat. Finally found one haha it’s circled in yellow!
Disabled pad thing wasn’t the best phrase haha but it’s a seat built into the wheelchair padding so that wheelchairs don’t tip over I’m guessing. It doesn’t stick out like the normal fold down chairs so it does just look like part of this padding. Or at least to me it did!
Anyway, the things you google on a Sunday night haha