Help solve my childcare problem please!

[Apples6544]

Firstly I know IABU to post here too but childcare gets no replies.. Hi everyone I really need some help, I’m a FTM so no idea what’s available/ how things work with childcare really! Basically I work 5 days a week has to include weekend days but I do complete my own rota so do have some flexibility/ can work shift times that suit me for the most part- pre maternity I mainly worked 7-17 or 8-18, days are usually different every week- no set days off, I do have at least 4 weeks worth of shifts though. Partner works 5 on, 3 off rolling shift pattern so he always has 3 days off together but they are different every week. He works fairly ‘normal’ hours 8:30-17:30. Grandparents want to help occasionally but can’t really commit to a specific day. One of my days off will be a day when partner is also off so that we have a family day every week. My little girl will be 10 months old when I return to work in April. So in summary we need childcare for 2/3 days a week- probably different days every week but we can give 4 weeks notice, it will include weekends and will be at least 10 hour days/ potential early starts. What the hell are my options! 😳 Feel like I’m in need of a unicorn 😬 any help/ advice gratefully received!

What were your plans for childcare before you decided to try for a baby?

You’re not going to get it. If you need different days every week you will need to pay for 5 days a week to reserve the place. And the chances of you finding childcare that includes weekends is almost none existent. Nurseries and childminders don’t work like that.

You need to arrange your shifts so that one of you is off every weekend, and you need to pay for childcare Monday - Friday. Be aware that lots will only open 7.30 - 5.30.

Failing that, one of you needs to quit your job or get one with more stable working patterns.

My friend works shifts, 3 week pattern . She uses a childminder who allows some flexibility with the days so long as she pays for a min of 3 days a week. Normally mon-wed, wed-fri and mon-thurs.

Our nursery allowed flexibility as long as you could give at least a weeks notice on the days (so always eg 3 days a week but those days could change) for an additional flexi fee of £20 a month

Sounds tricky as a nursery and a childminder won't want to let you have different days as they won't be able to find someone else who will want the other days.

You will have to pay for a full time place at a nursery of childminder and just use the days you need and the weekend days your partner can't do will have to be covered by the grandparents.

@MaskingForIt I was on the pill

That sounds difficult, not sure you will find childcare to cover all that. Can one of you fix your shifts?

You can see if any nurseries do flexible day contracts. Some do for police for example that I know of. Equally contact all Childminder’s near you and ask the same.
For weekends it will have to be your family members - either Grandparents or your partner.
If you are prioritising a regular family day over easy childcare, then you may end up paying more for childcare.

Once your child is in school look for schools that do wrap around care, often provided by external companies. If you choose one without them you will need family or a childminder.

Where I live there are few childcare options so knowing what is available is what I would look for first. Nursery places, especially different flexible places are booked up many months in advance.

We struck gold. My childminder accepts different shifts.
She has a couple of shift parents so the gamble is first come first served.
But we've never actually clashed.

You could ring around the local area and see. Try and match ones that will do the school run to your desired school.

A childminder might be your best bet, and if you can find one that does funded hours that will benefit you in the long run. One of the childminders I looked round did some early starts/ late finishes for shift workers where nurseries have fixed opening and closing times

My childminder is an absolute godsend.

Will tailor hours and days etc.

She doesn't work weekends though? Could your family help out on the weekends you're both working?

Our nursery was willing to do different days each week providing we have them a months notice (am a shift worker). So it may be worth checking with nurseries, although they may be less willing with the current situation.

Weekend childcare is rarer than hens teeth though. Can you not work it so that at least one of you is off every weekend?

What were your plans for childcare before you decided to try for a baby? helpful.

Think definitely a child minder is your best bet, they tend to be more flexible than nurseries in general. But you may find a nursery that accommodates, you need to just look for a child minder/nursery you like & see if they can accommodate your hours/days.

I seriously doubt you’ll get any professional childcare for weekends so that is going to fall to grandparents if they’re able.
One of you is probably going to have to change jobs. This was very similar to my DSis and BIL and she’s had to change jobs to a mon-fri.
Can you not afford to drop any hours?

A childminder might be ok with varying days - lots have part times and aren't working to ratio capacity, whereas nurseries usually are. A nursery will almost certainly expect you to pay for 5 full days a week to get what you need.

I'm not aware of any option for weekend childcare btw. Unless you find an exceptional childminder

To answer a few questions.. we definitely can’t either have weekends off all of the time, could drop hours but would still involve 5 days and weekend work, changing jobs probably not an option because I’d struggle to achieve the same salary else where! Poor child will be coming with me at this rate 😂 should I start making enquiries now due to my specifics?! Thanks for everyone’s helpful advice so far

I bet you can find a student that would do weekends. You could both submit a flexible working request to get some more regularity into your hours?

You will struggle massively to find anything that starts as early as 7 and includes weekends that will also let you constantly change.

Childminders are very flexible!

I’m a nurse, so not set days, and as long as I give my childminder 4 weeks notice she will have my son on any days required.

She will also have him last minute if I need her to....

I could text her on a Monday and say, “I know x is due to come Thursday this week but could you have him tomorrow instead?” And 99% of the time the answer is yes.

She will also have him extra days on top of my usual amount if I’m needed in work last minute etc.

She works 06.30-06.30

06.30 - 18.30 obviously

we definitely can’t either have weekends off all of the time, could drop hours but would still involve 5 days and weekend work, changing jobs probably not an option because I’d struggle to achieve the same salary else where!

Unfortunately like many people having children you may be left with no option except to absorb a drop in income. If you have work colleagues with children working hours like yours, try asking them what childcare they have.

Contact nurseries/childminders in your area to clarify how flexible they are.

Bear in mind that a good nursery/childminder will have a waiting list - we had to put DD down for a place at the nursery we wanted when she was 8 weeks old in order to guarantee a place when she was 10 months old! As a precaution we put DS’s name down before he was born as it is a very popular nursery and spaces are like hens teeth!

I get that neither of you can have every weekend off, but if you have flexibility can you not set it so that you only work the weekends that your OH is off?