Help solve my childcare problem please!

[Apples6544]

Firstly I know IABU to post here too but childcare gets no replies.. Hi everyone I really need some help, I’m a FTM so no idea what’s available/ how things work with childcare really! Basically I work 5 days a week has to include weekend days but I do complete my own rota so do have some flexibility/ can work shift times that suit me for the most part- pre maternity I mainly worked 7-17 or 8-18, days are usually different every week- no set days off, I do have at least 4 weeks worth of shifts though. Partner works 5 on, 3 off rolling shift pattern so he always has 3 days off together but they are different every week. He works fairly ‘normal’ hours 8:30-17:30. Grandparents want to help occasionally but can’t really commit to a specific day. One of my days off will be a day when partner is also off so that we have a family day every week. My little girl will be 10 months old when I return to work in April. So in summary we need childcare for 2/3 days a week- probably different days every week but we can give 4 weeks notice, it will include weekends and will be at least 10 hour days/ potential early starts. What the hell are my options! 😳 Feel like I’m in need of a unicorn 😬 any help/ advice gratefully received!

Presumably the week before the full weekend your DH has off, he is off on Sunday. And after his 2 weekends off, he has a Saturday off. So, that's 3/8 Saturdays, and 3/8 Sundays you can work. Would that be enough weekends for work? Maybe with a grandparent in the middle of the block of weekends your DH works.

Possibly a part time nanny might work? We put our requirements into our childcare.co.uk profile, contacted all local nurseries and childminders and we did find somewhere but I would start looking now as we had a 6 month wait for our nursery.
I have had to drop one day a week and my DH moved his work to the weekends now DD is at school though as we found it tricky to find flexible wraparound options, it's never easy!

[quote Apples6544]@Ilove 🤩 tell me you’re in the Midlands?! 😂

@Scotabroad24 don’t you know childcare should be arranged pre- conception 🤪

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland I’m not sure it’s we can’t afford it it’s more I know childcare will be expensive but to say drop a position at work would nearly half my salary whereas this won’t be an expense forever and I don’t want to compromise on lifestyle in the years to come by stunting my career.[/quote]
I’m afraid not!! West Yorks!

And to a previous poster, i charge £14/h - and there are no charges on top. I pay my own tax and NI, have my own car seats and prams/pushchairs, the families only provide nappies/wipes/food.

I would scrap the one day as a family. You have her 2 day, your OH has her for 2 days and you find one fixed day when you both work and pay for childcare then.

Then you do your damnedest to make sure that you can both work different times at weekends and see if grandparents will cover the rest.

3 fixed days a week in nursery.
Those days you work 8-6
H = partner. Highlighter = you.
No days off together!
Grandparents do 4 days every 8 weeks?

Perhaps someone like me - I'm a nanny with own child, my employers allow me to bring my daughter to work with me, in exchange for offering them increased flexibility. There are lots of us looking right now (feel free to pm me if you want me to point you in the right direction!).

Also, you say it’s quite a short amount of time but it isn’t really. Factor in wrap around and holiday care and you’re looking at 12 years of this.

im a childminder and i would work those shifts inc weekends, so do look around and ask. they might not advertise the fact they do but if you ask they might be open to it, especially for a baby!

£14/h in west Yorkshire is probably not far off triple the cost of a childminder so it's a fair whack.

Ok - let’s do the maths of your husbands work - this is just looking at the weekends as I think that is likely to be the big problem:-

Week 1 Mon - Fri - you can work Sat & Sun
Week 2 Tues - Sat - you can work Sun
Week 3 Wed - Sun - none
Week 4 Thurs - Sun - none
Week 5 Mon & Fri - Sun - none
Week 6 Mon, Tues, Sat, Sun - none
Week 7 Mon Tues Wed, Sun - you can work Sat
Week 8 Mon - Thurs - you can work Sat and Sun

So in 8 weeks you can work 6 weekend days. Presumably you need about 11? (5/7 8 2 = 80/7 is about 11). Would parents be willing to do an extra 5 days over an 8 weeks period?

Do you live near a hospital? Our hospital has an on site nursery which can be used by non staff (although staff are prioritised). They are used to accommodating a range of hours and shift patterns. If not, a nanny who is just starting out and who needs to build some experience might be willing.

How many weekends every 4 weeks do you think both you and DP will both be at work? I think you might be best going for 2 or 3 childcare combinations for your situation - which is not usual for most people but manageable if you are super organized.

(this is assuming you can't afford a super flexible full-time nanny or can deal with the hassle of an au pair - and can't find another family to do a flexible nanny-share with)

Weekdays - sounds like best option is flexible childminder if you can find one who is happy with the changing 4 week schedule (or someone who wants you to commit to a set 3 days but has room to take DD for an extra day or 2 if needed.
Second option is pay 5 days a week for the childminder despite not using it 5 days a week.
Third option. Pay for specific 3 days a week and get Grandparents to cover when your and your DH off days don't match up during the week - this depends on Grandparents being super flexible and willing.

Weekends - childminder who is available on occasional weekends - if you find your unicorn might be the same one as midweek but you might have to go for someone else.

Option 2 - if it's only 1-2 days a month where you and DP overlap schedules would Grandparents be okay with covering those days. Or a combination of Grandparents and freelance nanny/babysitter.

Unlike people on regular shifts you might have to find a multi-childcare solution.

The 4 days grandparents needed - they can pick which day. That gives you 6 weekend days working every 8 weeks and 10 if the grandparents will do your childcare for those 4 days at the weekend.

14 per hour.
On your hours that's 140 a day.
140 x 5 = £700 per week
£2800 per month.

Oh my giddy aunt!
Stop prioritizing your career over your child. You're never going to see your DC.

Your best bet will be a childminder who also wants the flexibility.
But you will pay for it. Eg you months only need 3 days a week but you'll pay for 4
Childcare.co.uk

Our nursery could accommodate a 4 week shift pattern (lots of healthcare workers)

We needed that kind of flexibility and had a childminder who could provide it. We paid more than the usual hourly rate for the flexibility, but a lot less than a full time space would have cost. There are people out there but you will have to seek them out. Try childcare.co.uk or local childminder Facebook pages and message them directly as they often don't advertise that sort of flexibility

Do you live near a hospital? Our hospital has an on site nursery which can be used by non staff (although staff are prioritised).

Or a military base? If you’re near one which runs 24/7 operations you’ll probably find a fairly flexible nursery near by.

I had a student to help out at weekends when my DD was young - she was lovely, and flexible, and we still keep in touch many years later, now that she has her own DC.

"You’re not going to get it. If you need different days every week you will need to pay for 5 days a week to reserve the place. And the chances of you finding childcare that includes weekends is almost none existent. Nurseries and childminders don’t work like that. "

Who are these people claiming that childminders won't accommodate you?! It's exactly what many of us do. I have children at weekends and overnight. Shift flexibility is also not a problem.

You may need to look around, but there are childminders that will cover what you need.

Do either you or your DH have colleagues with equally tricky arrangements with whom you could arrange reciprocal childcare? You look after their kid(s) on your day off, they look after yours on their day off.

@Crystal90567 at what point have I said I needed childcare for 5 days?

Appreciate everyones (most) responses! Especially @youwereagoodcakeclyde @Mumoftwoyoungkids for working it out!

I think we will sacrifice the day as a three to cover another day. I need to write it all down I think. Have just made a profile on childcare.co.uk thanks @Cliffdonville.

A nanny and an aupair when ;your chld is older.

That sounds really tough! It’s hard enough when both parents work full time, usual office hours - especially when you factor in sickness and inset days (when they get to school) I think you are going to need to compromise on your family day off together if you both want to stay in the same roles and make no adjustments for the fact you are now working parents. Dad has 3 days off, you have two and so it looks like you are needing two days childcare a week... a flexible (expensive) nanny, willing to work weekends where needed would probably be the best choice. Lots of us have had to sacrifice our careers in one way or another as a result of impossible childcare conundrums; yours sounds a bit more challenging than most.