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Original poster

To be annoyed with SIL?!

111 replies

hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 11:47

Today I went to a baby class and my sister in law came to the same one.

I noticed my niece looked very red on her cheeks!

I asked my SIL if my niece was okay and she said she'd been unsettled and hot all morning so she'd given her some Calpol but said she hadn't taken her temperature.

They have an older daughter who's currently off school with a cold so she thought maybe the baby was getting the cold but she'd put the red cheeks down to teething.

I told my SIL (quite sternly) that she was being really irresponsible bringing the baby to a class when she could potentially have a temperature.
She's put me, my baby, and all the other mums and babies at risk!

My SIL stormed out and told me to get a grip...

Was I unreasonable?!

OP posts:
3teens2cats · 12/09/2020 07:27

In normal times i totally would respect that a parent knows their children and can tell if it's just a cold, teething or something more serious. However these are not normal times and the guidance is very clear. Your kid isn't quite right, first thing you should do is take their temperature surely?? Yes there are studies which suggest young children do not spread covid so much but this virus is less than a year old, there is still lots to learn about how it spreads. Parents do not get to decide here. Unwell? Take temp, if there is a temp, get a test, simple.

Original poster
hellotothesun · 12/09/2020 07:32

@phoenixrosehere

I would have internally eye-rolled you and thought you a bit rude if you said this in front of the group because I know the risk I’m taking going to a baby group

Okay well firstly I did not say this loudly enough for anyone else to hear!!
My sister in law and I were actually the first ones to arrive, so at the time there were only 3 other mums in the room and it wasn't exactly quiet in there with the babies.

Not that I'm trying to say that's okay, but It's not like I stood up and shouted it out in front of the whole group and pointed her out so everyone knew.

She didn't storm out because id publicly embarrassed, because I didn't!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellotothesun · 12/09/2020 07:35

@3teens2cats

In normal times i totally would respect that a parent knows their children and can tell if it's just a cold, teething or something more serious. However these are not normal times and the guidance is very clear. Your kid isn't quite right, first thing you should do is take their temperature surely?? Yes there are studies which suggest young children do not spread covid so much but this virus is less than a year old, there is still lots to learn about how it spreads. Parents do not get to decide here. Unwell? Take temp, if there is a temp, get a test, simple.
@3teens2cats yes, exactly!

And one of the reasons I spoke to SIL sternly (which I know wasn't very polite of me) is because when I asked have you taken her temp, she said "no, I just gave her calpol as she was burning up"
She then brushed it off as "probably a cold" or "teething"

This is when I said I thought it was irresponsible to have brought her!!

It may well just be a cold or teething, but unless she's actually tested her then how does she know!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellotothesun · 12/09/2020 07:40

@Lindy2

A lot of people on this thread don't seem to have grasped the fact that right now things are very different and people need to change some of the things they used to

I think a lot of people are jumping on me and accusing me of being an ogre or bossy etc..

In normal times I wouldn't have thought twice about her daughter having a temp.

But it's not normal times! We all have to play our part in this.

The rules are quite clear.

ANY symptom, stay at home and get a test.

Her baby may well have been teething, or just a cold.

She hasn't actually taken her temperature so she didn't know if she had one, which surprised me as she was visibly very red and she'd stated she'd given her calpol as she felt like she was "burning up".

OP posts:
LAMPS1 · 12/09/2020 07:58

I’m constantly surprised at the number of mums who don’t bother to take their child’s temperature when the child appears unwell. A thermometer is such a useful tool to back up a mum’s instinct about what is wrong. Especially if Calpol (which can mask a high temperature) is being given.
A mum needs to be very clear why she is medicating with Calpol..is it for pain or is it to bring down a high temperature. Surely it’s important to know for the child’s sake and especially so, before taking a seemingly poorly child to a group activity in a pandemic.
I think that the SIL and her baby could have benefitted from a kind nudge towards taking temperature in dealing with this for the future.

phoenixrosehere · 12/09/2020 08:14

@hellotothesun

Hence is why I said IF.. 🙄

Still think you told her off and again it would be on the group leader to sort.

GabsAlot · 12/09/2020 10:28

she could have easily taken a babys temp before she left then she could say its only teething-not i have no idea what it is

BabyItsAWildWorld · 12/09/2020 10:29

You should apply to become a Covid Marshall.
You have all the required attributes.

BabyItsAWildWorld · 12/09/2020 10:37

Misdiagnosed teething babies are definitely a priority to address in this crisis.

jessstan2 · 12/09/2020 10:39

Is the baby alright now?

Original poster
hellotothesun · 12/09/2020 12:16

@jessstan2

Is the baby alright now?
She hasn't replied to me, so I don't know!
OP posts:
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