To be annoyed with SIL?!

[hellotothesun]

Today I went to a baby class and my sister in law came to the same one.

I noticed my niece looked very red on her cheeks!

I asked my SIL if my niece was okay and she said she'd been unsettled and hot all morning so she'd given her some Calpol but said she hadn't taken her temperature.

They have an older daughter who's currently off school with a cold so she thought maybe the baby was getting the cold but she'd put the red cheeks down to teething.

I told my SIL (quite sternly) that she was being really irresponsible bringing the baby to a class when she could potentially have a temperature.
She's put me, my baby, and all the other mums and babies at risk!

My SIL stormed out and told me to get a grip...

Was I unreasonable?!

@ginnybag

No, actually I think you were right to say what you did.

Her older child is off school with a 'cold', which I presume means cough/temp etc otherwise she wouldn't be off. The baby has a temp needing treatment and is displaying signs of being unwell in their behaviour.

Unless you're going to drip-feed that the older child had been tested and come back negative the day before, she shouldn't have had the child in a group like that (or in fact out at all!), and if you as a relative with kids of a similar age can't point that out quietly to her, who should?

This is going to be our Autumn/Winter. If we don't want that '2nd wave', we are all going to have to treat anyone with Covid symptoms as though that's what they have. It sucks that they overlap with common ailments, but that's where we are. There can't be any assumption of anything else, any of this its 'insert other thing here' or 'I know what I feel like with a cold' until the possibility of Covid has been ruled out by testing.

@ginnybag

if you as a relative with kids of a similar age can't point that out quietly to her, who should?

Yeah, exactly! And it wasn't like I shouted at her or told her off.

I just told her she's been irresponsible for brining her.

The guidance is to isolate & test if you have symptoms.

I'm sure all the people on here saying how awful I was, would feel the same as me if they went to a class and someone brought their baby with a temperature!

Did her baby have an actual fever though or just a temp?

Missing the point of the thread, but are baby classes back on?!

@Di11y

Did her baby have an actual fever though or just a temp?

@Di11y

She didn't take her temp, she said her cheeks were just red and she said she's teething!

@Tittie

Missing the point of the thread, but are baby classes back on?!

@Tittie

Yeah.

You keep saying her baby had a temperature but you don't even know if the baby did have one my dd's cheeks glow red when she's just warm. Nobody wants to be called irresponsible, I think you should have worded it differently

Babies and children catch colds all the time, they can't really be avoided. If they don't catch it from one child, they will from another (and parents catch them from their children).

I think you over reacted.

So you shouted at your sil because her baby is teething? I would have told you to get a grip too.

Didnt realise red cheeks were a symptom of covid 🙄

Do you know the baby had a temperature or just the red cheeks? If red cheeks only you have massively over reacted as that doesn't always indicate a temp and is a major sign of teething

Massive overreaction OP. How many children do you have?

@ftm202020

So you shouted at your sil because her baby is teething? I would have told you to get a grip too.

@ftm202020 I didn't shout.

@Henio

You keep saying her baby had a temperature but you don't even know if the baby did have one my dd's cheeks glow red when she's just warm. Nobody wants to be called irresponsible, I think you should have worded it differently

@Henio

Yeah I should've done.

In the moment I thunk I just felt like she was irresponsible.

Simply because one child was off school due to a cold and the other was bright red and she'd given calpol to.

@Venicelover

Massive overreaction OP. How many children do you have?

@Venicelover 1

So, not exactly an expert in teething issues then?

I suspect your SIL who already has another child knew that the red cheeks are a classic sign of teething and are sometimes but not always accompanied by a temperature. Also, children at school get colds, and viruses other than COVID.

If you feel at risk at the group perhaps you should stay at home rather than berate other mums?

@Venicelover

If you feel at risk at the group perhaps you should stay at home rather than berate other mums?*

Hmm yeah, but that's not the guidance though is it?
People who are unwell / showing symptoms are the ones who should be staying at home!

Baby could have had a temp for any reason, specially teething. You were wrong to say anything. I'm sure she made the decision as an adult.

If your really bothered about catching covid and don't trust other people, why are you going to mother and baby groups? Stay home.

[quote hellotothesun]@Venicelover

If you feel at risk at the group perhaps you should stay at home rather than berate other mums?*

Hmm yeah, but that's not the guidance though is it?
People who are unwell / showing symptoms are the ones who should be staying at home! [/quote]
Red cheeks in a small baby are not a sign of Covid, nor is a temperature necessarily. You do have to use a smidgeon of common sense Op.

If you don't feel safe and look askance at others for behaving perfectly reasonably, then you should stay at home.

@Venicelover

If you don't feel safe and look askance at others for behaving perfectly reasonably, then you should stay at home.

Okay, I know I've asked for an opinion and you've given me yours.

But common sense is surely not to take a child with a temperature to a baby group during a pandemic?

She knew the baby was unwell this morning hence why she gave calpol before we came!

I wouldn't have taken my baby if I had to give her calpol!

She had made the decision that red cheeks were teething, presumably based on her knowledge of her baby.

The guidance doesn't say any baby with red cheeks, or who is teething, or who takes calpol for teething should stay at home.

And isn't it established that young children are highly unlikely to be carriers?

So all in all you sternly told your SIL off for nothing.

@BabyItsAWildWorld

So all in all you sternly told your SIL off for nothing.

Maybe so, but without a test, you can't be certain of that!!

So you think all babies who get red cheeks, and their parents know their teething should still have to get a Covid test before they're allowed out?

YABU.

You said like a right pain! Red cheeks are not a symptom of covid. I suggest you do not attend any groups during winter as there will plenty of kids with colds!!

[quote hellotothesun]@BabyItsAWildWorld

So all in all you sternly told your SIL off for nothing.

Maybe so, but without a test, you can't be certain of that!! [/quote]
Common sense comes in when you assess the situation and make an informed decision.

Are you really suggesting that an experienced mother should take her baby for a test every time it is teething?

You are going to be a regular at the testing centre OP!

[quote hellotothesun]@BabyItsAWildWorld

So all in all you sternly told your SIL off for nothing.

Maybe so, but without a test, you can't be certain of that!! [/quote]
What if one of the other babies has it and is asymptomatic? You know, you just don't know if they haven't all been screened recently. And even if they have a negative test, you know, there are false negatives sometimes, so they might have it.

My point is, your sil sounds as if she was using common sense. You were wrong to tell her off I think. Do you normally get on ok? Is she your brother's wife or your DH's sister?