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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed with SIL?!

111 replies

hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 11:47

Today I went to a baby class and my sister in law came to the same one.

I noticed my niece looked very red on her cheeks!

I asked my SIL if my niece was okay and she said she'd been unsettled and hot all morning so she'd given her some Calpol but said she hadn't taken her temperature.

They have an older daughter who's currently off school with a cold so she thought maybe the baby was getting the cold but she'd put the red cheeks down to teething.

I told my SIL (quite sternly) that she was being really irresponsible bringing the baby to a class when she could potentially have a temperature.
She's put me, my baby, and all the other mums and babies at risk!

My SIL stormed out and told me to get a grip...

Was I unreasonable?!

OP posts:
Josette77 · 11/09/2020 18:13

The baby is teething. You behaved poorly.

Angelina82 · 11/09/2020 18:56

You sound like a bit of an uptight, rude, know-it-all OP. I’m with your SIL and agree you need to get a grip.

Mulhollandmagoo · 11/09/2020 19:24

My little girl has had a slight temperature and rosey cheeks everytime she's teething, quite often accompanied by a snotty little nose, I know when she's teething it's glaringly obvious to me because I know my baby and the cues/signs she shows me! You're quite right she could well have had covid, but I'd say there was the most minute chance and it was probably just a teething baby with an older sibling who had a cold. I fully understand why you may have gotten a bit flustered and pulled her up on it, given the way of the world at the mo, but I do think it would be worth you giving her a quick call and apologising

AllsortsofAwkward · 11/09/2020 19:30

You sound like a pain in the arse, I've posted a pic of the common symptoms, however it sounds like teething and with a baby its easy to tell if they have a temperature by touching their skin. I would have told have told you to piss off. Im full of cold runny nose etc its a cold am i not allowed out?

To be annoyed with SIL?!
AllsortsofAwkward · 11/09/2020 19:40

FYI teething can be painful hence why she gave her calpol which is liquid paracetamol its a pain killer

Yankathebear · 11/09/2020 19:50

Would you have been so rude if she was a stranger rather than your SIL?

Yankathebear · 11/09/2020 19:52

You keep saying that she took a baby with a temp to the group but you don’t know that the baby did have a high temperature.

Codexdivinchi · 11/09/2020 19:55

Yeah I would have probably said worse to you tbh.

Do you always speak to her like shit?

CantGetDecentNickname · 11/09/2020 19:56

I think this:

But common sense is surely not to take a child with a temperature to a baby group during a pandemic?

It can cause unnecessary mental stress in others. The pandemic has made some people anxious, Plus the baby probably isn’t feeling great if teething and would have been happier at home. I'd just let it go and ask her how the baby is and I wouldn’t go to the class for a few weeks afterwards, if worried. Think she knows she could have caused unnecessary stress in others hence the storming out. We just need to be more cautious than normal.

Byallmeans · 11/09/2020 19:58

Oh Christ I’d avoid the fuck out of you at family gathering

Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 19:58

@Yankathebear

Would you have been so rude if she was a stranger rather than your SIL?
@Yankathebear

I would've been harsher to a stranger!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 19:59

@Byallmeans

Oh Christ I’d avoid the fuck out of you at family gathering
@Byallmeans

Good job you're not a part of my family then. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 20:01

@Codexdivinchi

Yeah I would have probably said worse to you tbh.

Do you always speak to her like shit?

@Codexdivinchi

You weren't there. I didn't speak to her like shit.

I didnt shout or swear, I didn't even raise my voice!!

I just told her I thought it was irresponsible for her to bring the baby with a Covid symptom during a pandemic!

OP posts:
Venicelover · 11/09/2020 20:02

I would've been harsher to a stranger!

I expect that at a baby class there would have been several other babies who were teething. Did you check? If not, why not?

Really OP, just stay at home....

Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 20:02

@Yankathebear

You keep saying that she took a baby with a temp to the group but you don’t know that the baby did have a high temperature.
@Yankathebear

And you don't know that the baby didn't!!

Neither did she! She said she hadn't taken the babies temperature!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 20:04

@Venicelover

I would've been harsher to a stranger!

I expect that at a baby class there would have been several other babies who were teething. Did you check? If not, why not?

Really OP, just stay at home....

My SIL didn't say know it was teething. Have you read my OP?

She said the baby had been unsettled and warm, she said "she's probably got the cold" or "it could be teething"

She didn't know!!

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 11/09/2020 20:24

I’m pretty sure there’s recently been some published research that under 10’s are very low transmitters and that babies barely shred the virus at all.

Pbbananabagel · 11/09/2020 20:25

Poor woman sounds like she desperately needed some support time with other mums around and whether you were right or not, what you said has made her feel like a shit mum.

Yankathebear · 11/09/2020 20:26

‘ And you don't know that the baby didn't!!’

I don’t go to groups being rude to other people either but hey ho!

Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 20:51

@Yankathebear

‘ And you don't know that the baby didn't!!’

I don’t go to groups being rude to other people either but hey ho!

@Yankathebear

Okay well I didn't go to the group to be rude to other people.

At the start of the group the lady asked us if anyone had Covid symptoms!
My SIL lied. Her baby had a temperature!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 20:52

@HeddaGarbled

I’m pretty sure there’s recently been some published research that under 10’s are very low transmitters and that babies barely shred the virus at all.
@HeddaGarbled

Oh cmon!

Desperately needed some support time!!

Where did you cook that up from?

OP posts:
Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 11/09/2020 20:54

The rules are quite clear. Everyone with a temperature should get a COVID test and isolate until they do.

Anyone who claims not to get this is being a dick. You might “think it’s teething” but you have to follow the rules.
Yanbu OP

Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 20:54

@Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches

The rules are quite clear. Everyone with a temperature should get a COVID test and isolate until they do.

Anyone who claims not to get this is being a dick. You might “think it’s teething” but you have to follow the rules.
Yanbu OP

THANK YOU
OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 11/09/2020 21:05

Where did you cook that up from?

Radio 4 science programme on Thursday afternoons a couple of weeks ago when they were talking about the risks of schools reopening. They had a proper scientist on and everything.

Original poster
hellotothesun · 11/09/2020 21:10

@HeddaGarbled

Where did you cook that up from?

Radio 4 science programme on Thursday afternoons a couple of weeks ago when they were talking about the risks of schools reopening. They had a proper scientist on and everything.

@HeddaGarbled

Yes, makes complete sense.
I'll have to start listening.

OP posts:
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