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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To despise my fucking evil toxic in laws

101 replies

FuckingInLaws · 10/09/2020 21:12

Fucking hate the lot of them, the parents, the siblings, the lot. Fucking self-obsessed, arrogant twats. They think the sun shines out of their backsides and that everyone else is inferior. They treat everyone like shit. It’s the reason DH has had to “unlearn” a lot of their toxic behaviours and the reason we never go to see them. But they’re all still there, all the time, in the background, like a bad smell in life, always giving their two pence, trying their best to meddle and cause problems.

A few examples:

Mother in law bitching about me in front of me and my friends at a party. (She said her son was treated like a king when he lived with her and now not so much...and when I said he’s treated very well actually she told my friends I have a tendency to exaggerate and then laughed. My friends were all naturally shocked at the bitter old witch. DH was mortified when I told him.

Sister in laws and brother in laws do their utmost to meddle in our marriage, I think due to jealousy (we are happily married with three beautiful children). They each have a lot of personal problems and are constantly fighting with each other too, exchanging disgusting messages and swearing at each other - despite all claiming to be intelligent professional and classy people. I am disgusted by the way they speak to each other during any disagreement, their true colours come out, and they have also sworn in front of my kids in the past which DH has asked them not to do. One of the many reasons we rarely see them anymore.

They’ve been known to “advise” my DH about how he should be doing things like hiding money away from me (open a secret bank account they said) and for context this was at a time when DH had received a large pay out, which he obviously shared with me. Scheming pricks.

Always inviting DH to things without inviting me. Being all sweet to my face on the rare occasions we meet but acting like they are above me and my family and never showing any interest in me or the kids. Just DH, their “prince”. Excuse me while I vomit.

I wish I had the balls to tell them all what I really think of them! That they are utterly evil and vile human beings and I’ll be so happy if they ever just fuck right off out of our lives. But I obviously don’t have the balls so I’m ranting on here instead. Please join me! Anyone else??

OP posts:
toiletpaper · 10/09/2020 21:15

Why do you or DH speak to them if they're that bad?

Fuckthelotofyou · 10/09/2020 21:31

Hamburger

Fuckthelotofyou · 10/09/2020 21:32

Yanbu

Alwaysinpain · 10/09/2020 21:34

@Fuckthelotofyou

Hamburger
🤣
doopdeepduup · 10/09/2020 21:36

@Fuckthelotofyou

Hamburger
Yup!
Henryshens · 10/09/2020 21:41

Ok, what is the hamburger for? I’m not sure what it means!

Mum2jenny · 10/09/2020 21:41

I’d ignore the fuckers. They don’t deserve any consideration.
Just ignore them, they are not worth the air you breathe.

pasanda · 10/09/2020 21:47

Fuckers the lot of them

Coffeecak3 · 10/09/2020 21:51

Hamburger is the way the op has written and set out her post.

mrsBtheparker · 10/09/2020 22:00

They do sound awful but how often are women adviced on MN to have a stash of money secreted away!

Echobelly · 10/09/2020 22:08

I think with people like that you just have to remember that they are their own worst punishment - being miserable and cynical and so insecure they have to slag off people who haven't done anything to them is not a fun way to live, so leave them to it.

funnylittlefloozie · 10/09/2020 22:09

Tbh, i think you sound far too involved with your ILs. How on earth do you know the content of messages they are sending to each other? Wouldnt your friends juat laugh after they'd heard that rubbish from your MIL?

I loathed my ex-ILs as well, but because of that, i kept my distance and didnt pretend to be besty friends.

Itsrainingnotmen · 10/09/2020 22:11

Going nc with ils is very liberating op.
Over 5 years of peaceful bliss.

FancyARoot · 10/09/2020 22:12

Just mentally cut them out of your life. They won’t improve.
My FIL told DH he should buy a wall chart for the kitchen for me to record every time I spend money, and what I spend it on. Because you can’t trust these wimmin! 😂😂

Just laugh at them and get on with your own life. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Don’t be bitter. It’ll show on your face 😉

Ohtherewearethen · 10/09/2020 22:14

Maybe you had to be there...

Laaalaaaa · 10/09/2020 22:16

Perhaps you’re too foul mouthed for them 🤷🏻‍♀️

HarryElephante · 10/09/2020 22:16

Don't be a victim.

Greedypeopleithink · 10/09/2020 22:16

I know exactly what you mean. The siblings and meddling, trying to financially take advantage, smothering husband and now my little one. Many attempts made by MIL to take over marriage and lots of expectations. DH could not or found it hard to say no cos MIL had serious heart condition. She has passed away now. Life is easier but dh siblings have become needy of dh. I think thats the grief. They still meddle and i cant get away from them.

I hope ur situation improves. Be happy they dont take over your children. Be thankful ur husband listens to you and recognises and acknowledges ur MILs poor behaviour and has reduced contact. My DH does or did none of these things. I could walk away but praying for better times.

percheron67 · 10/09/2020 22:18

I think your children will be in great danger of learning to swear by being with you. Your post is full of expletives! You will probably argue that you don't swear in front of them but by the example given here you don't seem to use decent adjectives.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 10/09/2020 22:21

Can someone explain the hamburger reference please, I don’t get it!

Oldbutstillgotit · 10/09/2020 22:22

I don’t understand the hamburger reference .

TylluanBach · 10/09/2020 22:23

Just tell them to fuck off.Out of earshot of the kids.. obvs Grin

NoGinNotComingIn · 10/09/2020 22:23

I have some over involved meddling write a book about them in laws too, but after a few years of extreme stress and fallouts with them I realised if I gave no fucks and completely stepped away they got bored and gave up bothering me (they started on the other daughter in law who married into the family 2 years after me instead 🤣 who actually came to us for advise on how to handle them - I told her to stop engaging).

I see them rarely and act fake, like I like them for 2 hours and then never think or speak to them until the next visit 6 months later. It’s wonderful. I suggest you do the same. I erased their numbers from my phone just this last week, thought to myself when have I or will I ever want to text or ring you 🤔 never, so off they went. It’s like they don’t exist for months on end. Just wonderful.

EhUp · 10/09/2020 22:25

YANBU but why invite them to events and involve them in your life if they are so awful?

... also no idea about the hamburger thing Confused

MolyHolyGuacamole · 10/09/2020 22:31

You're welcome

To despise my fucking evil toxic in laws
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