To think my DH is an utter cock?

[MonkeyPantaloons]

I'm currently on maternity leave with a five month old. I've not found motherhood easy, although my son was very wanted, and I'm lonely and miserable. It doesn't really help that DS wakes every couple of hours all night still. He'll throw a night or two of sleeping better every now and then so I have a little hope but then revert back to form.

I'm thinking about going back to work either three or four days a week as I think it would help me feel more like myself. This involves looking at nurseries. DH has informed me he's not keen because he doesn't think I should just give up and give DS to someone else to parent.

He's an absolute tool, isn't he?

The natural jump is to think that you’re OH is being unreasonable, but is it financially viable for him to take shared parental and you work part time? If yes, he’s being a dick.
I’m very career driven and went back to work a day a week at 4 months, OH looked after baby those days and then we put her in nursery when I went back full time at 8 months.
Honestly it was one of my biggest regrets - putting her in nursery when she couldn’t sit up or have any type of self sufficiency was tough. Plus because of the intermittent sleep (which will still continue) you’ll never perform as well at work. I found it more career damaging in the end. I was tired, trying to do all the life admin I did before in much shorter time and then had a demanding job on top.
Babies get more fun at six months, don’t make any rash decisions. Ignore you’re husband, but maybe have a think are there other things you could do to make mat leave more enjoyable.

So by his logic as he’s out at work all day then he doesn’t do any parenting at all? Of course not.

In my experience I absolutely cannot recommend shared parental leave highly enough. You won’t just see the benefits now but in future years it will make all the difference to your relationship and his relationship with the children and put a stop to ridiculous statements like this

This was me 30 years ago, so I totally relate. Back then it was far more common for women to stop working when they had a child, and that was my plan. 4 months after DD was born I was climbing the walls; so lonely, depressed, isolated. I went back to work 3 mornings a week and it saved my sanity and my marriage. Fortunately DH was fully supportive, and we had an excellent nursery across the road. Your DH cannot just dictate that you stay at home. Who does he think he is?

Why did you choose to have another child?

Especially with such a (in your terms) cock?

@Daphnise

Why did you choose to have another child?

Especially with such a (in your terms) cock?

Where does OP state she has another child? Also, men's potential for cock like behaviour often only surfaces when the responsibilities of parenthood hit.

YANBU he is a toolbox

Unless it’s a heavy hint he wishes to take paternity leave or a SAHP?! Somehow l don’t think it is. But l wouldn’t put up with this nonsense, child is half his and he needs to step up. 50% of caring inc night time etc